Children and Youth Envolvement

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by barb540213, Nov 12, 2009.

  1. barb540213

    barb540213 New Member

    Hi, I am a new poster though i follow this forum in my google reader . . . anyway first time writing and doing so because I need some support and hava a few questions. My difficult child is in a new out of district school which has been working well for him however yesterday he told his psychologist that I was choking him and punching him in the face over the weekend. . . He is 9 and I am a big woman he said this happened on Sun and this was Wed. . . I asked the pysch if she saw bruises she said no but that she needed to call it into the child abuse hotline, i myself am a mandated reporter so while i understood, i also know that my son threatens me with cys all the time so he can go live with mommom who has no rules and is just the good time grandmom. . . i didnt hit him etc but i did smack his leg, which in PA open hand smacking is legal as long as it doesnt leave injury . . . so CYS calls last night and says difficult child needs to stay with my mom to be 'safe' until they can see him today . . . I am concerned because this is the second time in less than 6 months and I am fearful that people who dont understand his mental 'stuff' wont understand whats going on . . . anyone have any experience with children and youth i would appreciate some advice . . .thanks
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    What a nightmare!

    My difficult child has been telling stories about her horrifically abusive parents for years (most recently to a police officer)--but thus far, her stories have all been seen for the tall tales they are and she has not been removed from our home.

    I am so sorry that you are going throught this. Is there any therapist or doctor that can attest to difficult child's mental condition and his propensity for drama?

    by the way--Welcome to our group.

  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. We lived in constant fear of this when Kanga lived at home. We did have CPS out twice. The first worker recognized her mental illness and sided 100% with us. The second worker was verbally abusive towards us, threatened to take all the children, but somehow she only came out the once, no one called again until 3 months later and by then Kanga was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so they closed that out as unfounded also.

    I would have a list of phone numbers to give the worker (therapist, psychiatrist, anyone else that can testify to your good parenting and his mental illness; it would be great if anyone could testify to his threats to use CPS against you).

    How is your relationship with your mom?
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    So sorry you are having to deal with this. The laws governing mandated reporting are different from state to state. We lived in one state where every time a child said they were abused all children in the home had to go to a relative or youth shelter or foster home until CPS could investigate. Now I live in a state where the reporter is supposed to show some judgment so that children who are trying to get out of trouble or are clearly making up stories are not given such power over the adults in their lives.

    Have you "experts" each write a letter and have it in their FILE with a release to be sent with-o court order to anyone who is investigating this. Then give the CPS person a list of doctor's numbers and addresses to get a copy of the letter. SOME places will let you turn in a letter from a doctor, but not all because they think parents might tamper with them.

    Talk to your mom about this. You cannot force her, but you can ask her to not make this type of visit so much fun. Maybe if you emphasize that this power that your son gets with each report and visit is hurting HER child will help her understand.

    IF your mom is on good terms and is willing to work iwth you to help your son, then you might take her to some of the appointments where you discuss how this is impacting the entire family.