Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Choosing to be homeless
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 729002" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I have had the same issues with my child. For the longest time I tried to pressure him tied to help. It did not work.</p><p></p><p>i had to accept he had a right to make his own choices and my only right was over what I did or did not do or allow in my home or around me. It was tough. I had to ask him to leave a home I own. I told him I did not want him here. I realized I could not change him. It did not work and I came to see I did not have that right. I could only love him.</p><p></p><p>If they are squatting on land that is not yours I do not see what you can do unless they are there through some effort on your part. As adults they have the right to live as they choose. We may not like it but our only vote is over what we choose to give or allow of our space, resources and support.</p><p></p><p>The showers, batteries, electricity, insurance you choose to provide. You do not have to. If it makes you uncomfortable you have an absolute right to withdraw this access or support.</p><p></p><p>It is normal for parents to disapprove of lifestyle choices of adult children. My own mother was infuriated when I chose to live in foreign countries. I had a profession, had been a mother for 12 years, had been self supporting for 40 years. She believed I needed to work. I had worked 40 years. She absolutely believed she had the moral authority to decide. Guess who won?</p><p></p><p>Now. The marijuana is tough. Personally I hate it but it is so widespread, I don't know what to suggest. It is highly personal the stances we take. I chose to not let my son even in my home if he continued the mj habit. I know this is very harsh. But I felt he was compromising his life to such an extent that I felt compelled to take this step.</p><p></p><p>As I type this it appalls me that I took such a harsh stand.</p><p></p><p>I guess that is how you feel about your daughter's lifestyle.</p><p></p><p>Yes. We have have a right to limit contact. But would you want to do that?</p><p></p><p>In our case the result was that my son went to a sober living home. But if I gave an inch I know he would return to our other home and use again.</p><p></p><p>My son is mentally ill. Had he had more resources he could well have turned his back on me and our town and not looked back.</p><p></p><p>This is the minefield we operate in.</p><p></p><p>Anyway. Welcome and good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 729002, member: 18958"] I have had the same issues with my child. For the longest time I tried to pressure him tied to help. It did not work. i had to accept he had a right to make his own choices and my only right was over what I did or did not do or allow in my home or around me. It was tough. I had to ask him to leave a home I own. I told him I did not want him here. I realized I could not change him. It did not work and I came to see I did not have that right. I could only love him. If they are squatting on land that is not yours I do not see what you can do unless they are there through some effort on your part. As adults they have the right to live as they choose. We may not like it but our only vote is over what we choose to give or allow of our space, resources and support. The showers, batteries, electricity, insurance you choose to provide. You do not have to. If it makes you uncomfortable you have an absolute right to withdraw this access or support. It is normal for parents to disapprove of lifestyle choices of adult children. My own mother was infuriated when I chose to live in foreign countries. I had a profession, had been a mother for 12 years, had been self supporting for 40 years. She believed I needed to work. I had worked 40 years. She absolutely believed she had the moral authority to decide. Guess who won? Now. The marijuana is tough. Personally I hate it but it is so widespread, I don't know what to suggest. It is highly personal the stances we take. I chose to not let my son even in my home if he continued the mj habit. I know this is very harsh. But I felt he was compromising his life to such an extent that I felt compelled to take this step. As I type this it appalls me that I took such a harsh stand. I guess that is how you feel about your daughter's lifestyle. Yes. We have have a right to limit contact. But would you want to do that? In our case the result was that my son went to a sober living home. But if I gave an inch I know he would return to our other home and use again. My son is mentally ill. Had he had more resources he could well have turned his back on me and our town and not looked back. This is the minefield we operate in. Anyway. Welcome and good luck. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Choosing to be homeless
Top