christian counselor

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ktllc, Jan 25, 2012.

  1. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    V's new behavioral therapist is dropping us as she is moving to a nearby bigger city. She had taken V as a new patient last December!!
    I am so upset right now... How are we supposed to make progress if the therapists don't stick long enough??
    She admitted it was a big issue of the agency we are using.
    Problem: can't find anyone else in our town that will treat kids as young as V.
    I made phone calls after phone calls and nothing promissing right now.
    I even ended up calling a private couseling practice which is Christian based. Really not sure about that one.
    On their website they claim to treat "through a biblical world view". The lady who would treat V is a licensed clinical social worker and uses cognitive behavioral therapy as well as solutio focused therapy.
    But to be honest, I really don't see why religion should be in the mix??
    V needs to learn practical skill, he is not going through a spiritual journey.
    But so far, I have NO ONE else. I will see her next week (without V). I try to keep an open mind.
    The secratary was quite judgemental and she does not even know us. I asked if the therapist could go to the school and she said that "no, you have to drive to our office EVERY SINGLE TIME. You have to commit to it". What the ***??? I actually told her that I was not asking out of lazyness, but V has social issues and he needs help at school to work it out. Her response "Oh... I see...".
    I think she felt quite dumb, but still.
    Any ways, trying to keep an open mind.
    Is it something you would even consider??
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    That will really depend on the therapist.

    Some "Christian" outfits use that label because they are sensitive to conservative Christian values, so would not suggest some of the things that a "mainstream" therapist might.
    However, others can really only work with families whose beliefs mirror their own - in which case, it doesn't work.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Unless I am missing something, a "therapist" of this sort does not meet the educational requirements of a therapist that V needs. He needs a trained communication disorder professional, a therapist who has specifically been trained to work with people who have social interaction needs based on neurological conditions (and I HAVE met social workers and psychs who chose that as their area of expertise!) so I think the interview is a good thing. You need to know if she has worked with kids who have (just say autism because if she can do that, she can work with V) developmental delays in the areas of communication. Are there any private speech/lang and Occupational Therapist (OT) clinics that will take him on? Look to see if there are any children's habilitation/rehabilitation clinics around you that have therapists...sometimes they work in social skills teams. You might get a psychologist thru that.

    Q just for the first time is starting some psychology/therapy type of work and that is due to the effects of being disabled on his emotions, but not specifically to work on a behavioral program. For that we use the psychology/behavioral agency that specifically works with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and autism clients...Q is one of their two who have both..... so hey do not simply do the parent ed type of stuff.

    Where are you getting the referrals for therapies? Can you call any of the schools around you, ask to talk to the Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) who works there, and explain you are just wondering where her kids with social communication delays get private therapy. he/she does not have to be working with V to know where other kids get therapy.... just a thought.
  4. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Oh... Buddy... I know exactly what you are saying... As of right now we have Occupational Therapist (OT) and that's it...
    Everything collapsed.
    I cannot find a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) that is qualified for kids like V (and I have said autism to simplify it!). I am waiting for one last phone call, kind of my last hope.
    As far as behavior or I should say learning the lacking skills, same issues... When you mix Anxiety, social communication and black and white thinking: you need a specially trained therapist and I can't find nothing. The few that we have around have no clue what I'm talking about. Theykept on asking if there were stress in the home? Some kind of trauma?
    Honestly I just want to cry...
    I will call the school and see if they have any leads for me. That is a very good idea.
    The develop. pediatrician. felt bad for us because he knew services would be really hard to get where we live...
    I wrote a social story today on "how to say bye", V had a blank stare as I was reading it and all I could get out of him was "I don't know".
    Bottom line: we need help here!
  5. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    I'm sorry, but something like that would give me the extreme heebie jeebies. Then again, I come from an abusive religious background, so my views might be skewed.

    I too fail to see how religion of any sort would apply to this sort of therapy. I think any therapist worth ANYTHING needs to be, at least with clients, religiously neutral.
  6. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    As a person of faith, working with a kid with the black and white thinking that comes with autism "through a biblical world view" would make me nervous. I'm just thinking of all of the things that can go wrong - ideas that can be misunderstood, misinterpreted and then stuck, Know what I mean??

    That said, I would meet with the therapist and see what you think. I would hope she could work with your child (if she is qualified) without bringing the bible into it. That is not what your child needs at this time (or ever, depending on your belief system).
  7. zaftigmama

    zaftigmama New Member

    I'm with Greenrene. I would run like he!! (no pun intended)
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    OH wow, bless your heart. I am sorry services in your area are so hard to come by.... there have to be other kids getting services out there though so where the heck are they getting them. he is not unusual in any way shape or form when it comes to that kind of therapy... (not that he isn't special of course, lol) I just mean, working on social communication skills is a very common therapeutic goal so where the heck are these kids getting services??? I suppose if they are more clear cut then they are getting better services in the schools but still???

    If the faith based counselor does have the skills and just shows her faith thru her actions, being kind, non-judgmental, etc...ok.. but if she says if you don't respect your elders you will go to heck.... yeah, that is something to make sure wont happen... will be interesting to see what you find out.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Buddy, there are HUGE areas of the US where there are just NO services, public or private. I looked into a LOT of places when husband was finishing his masters - it was SCARY. Some are good sized cities and they have almost NOTHING.

    As for the Christian counselor, I would have to talk to her. I attended Catholic school for 6 years and it was seriously twisted and so many things there were abusively wrong. It took a LOT for me to even agree to let husband take thank you to the local Cath church and we are hundreds of miles from where I went to school. I go to church with husband and his dad and stepmom once every 2-5 yrs as a gift to father in law but it always gives me PTSD problems.

    But I don't write off all religion. This person might have it as a core of her practice, in which case it will NOT be appropriate but you should see it right away. Even if she seems great, like she LIVES it rather than lectures it (Know what I mean??), I would stay in the room with V at all times with no exceptions. I say this because there was one grad student at the Children's hospital where we used to live who told Jess some truly strange things anytime I wasn't there. Jesus wanted her to do this, and take that with-o complaint. Mostly that she needed to not complain if Wiz hurt her, not tell Mommy, because it was Jesus' will and if Jesus wanted Wiz not to hit her then Jesus would stop it. I put a stop to that when she admitted she told Jess that. I also made a HUGE formal complaint to her PhD supervisor and to the psychiatrist we were seeing with Wiz - and she ended up leaving the program. They taped a lot of the sessions but didn't review all of them, and after the complaint her taped sessions were reviewed and wehn no parent/supervisor was there she was a whackjob.

    I have known Christian counselors who were relatively neutral. I don't think it is gong to be a great fit unless she is able to leave the preaching and bible quotes out of it. Some can, some can't. But it isn't something that will help V. And something that is a bad fit isn't always better than nothing, if that makes sense.

    I hope you can find someone. Look in nearby cities, up to 1 or 1 1/2 hrs away. We have to drive that far for most doctors but we knew it when we moved back to this area. Luckily we have two large cities that are the same distance away, so we have a larger pool to choose from if we are willing/able to drive.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    in my opinion only, I think a Christan counselor would confuse an autistic kid. I wouldn't do it. I WOULD bring the kid to church, but not take him to a therapist who is using religion rather than more mainstream methods.

    Autistic kids do best with interventions. Many do VERY poorly in therapy because it is about expressing feelings, exactly what they CAN'T and DON'T LIKE to do. I'm not convinced spectrum kids need therapy, at least not the psychiatric kind.
  11. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    You are all bringing very valid points. I will not go with her unless she can leave religion outside the door when it is V's session.
    MWM: your comment kind of resonate. I was wondering if I should really push behavioral therapy afterall.
    Every time I find something to be useful during therapy, it usually is about the therapist revealing how V thinks and processes things. It is more giving ME tools to help him better.
    The latest example: V's world is black or white. People, things are good or bad. There is no happy, sad, confused, surprised, etc. Just good or bad. And she told me not to forget it when I interact with V. He will simply not understand anything in the gray zone.
    Maybe I should just arm myself with lots of good books. :)
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hmmmmm. Do YOU feel that's right? That V NEVER thinks in the gray zone? Although my son is on the autism spectrum and is a pretty concrete thinker he isn't 100% black/white.
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Over the years Q has really progressed in this. If it is just a neutral thing or he is not stressed he really can talk about middle of the road ideas. but if stressed, worried, angry or in fight/flight...forget it. ONE way and that is the only way.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Klltc...Could you remind me one more time where you are and I will ask my therapist for a referral to your area? I cant promise she will know someone in your area but mine is the most wonderful woman in the US and I wish I could clone her and send her to everyone. She actually used to do some free counseling in her church at one time because that was the only way some people could get access to therapy but she stopped that when she left that church due to reasons in her life. Most of our mental health centers down here are fairly interconnected so she may know someone from trainings. Or you may have one of the same agencies she works for up there.
  15. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    My experience has been the black and white thing does improve with age and experience. My daughter was much more black and white when she was younger than she is now.
  16. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    My sense of it is that there is of course nothing wrong with a Christian counsellor if that is a reflection of how you yourselves see the truth. But if it is not, I wonder if you would end up feeling frustrated at having gone down a blind alley, with V having another disrupted experience? I suppose I feel... if it's not the right person or approach, what's the point?
  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    We have next door neighbors who are nice people. They are very very involved with their church which is an established Christian church...that is a "little out there" in my humble opinion. As most of you know our difficult child#1 has had addiction problems for over ten years and has been in a number of programs.

    One evening the neighbor and I chatted in the driveway and she told me that their life was busy because they were going to school in the evening. Then she told me that they were "completing their course in Christian counseling with a specialty in substance abuse". Of course that got my attention so I asked how long the course was and where it was taught. She responded it was six weeks, twice a week at their church, using shared textbooks.

    Well intentioned people can just "not get it". I would be wary. DDD
  18. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    WOW!! That is scary DDD.
    I will be sure to triple check her credentials.
    Where we live, religion is EVERYWHERE. It was not like that up North, and certainly not like that in France.
    In France, religion is a bit like sex: it is part of most people's life but it stays private.
    I have another: a psychiatrist. Once agin, I don't think that's what V needs...
  19. buddy

    buddy New Member

    True, probably not given it is a neurological condition.

    Do you have any childrens neurology centers there??? You must be exhausted with all the chasing around ...I guess that goes for anyone in a community that does not have resources. I am feeling really grateful to be in a bigger metro area right now.