Christmas at our house.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by welcometowitsend, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. We had our early Christmas yesterday with my side of the family along with husband's parents. Some people couldn't make it so instead of 16 we had 12 - that was enough. :)

    difficult child was a little difficult child'ish in that he didn't tell me where to pick him up until about 30 minutes before his pick up time and when I got there he wasn't ready but I held my tongue. To his credit he did put together a cheese tray for me when he got there. easy child was doing a cookie/brownie tray and he offered to help as I was peeling potatoes.

    We had a pleasant visit and I am relieved. I wasn't sure how my dramatic difficult child mother was going to behave as she hasn't seen difficult child since well before he left/was kicked out. She held her own and behaved quite nicely. Phew! husband was nice to difficult child and I was happy about that too. We had had an argument a couple of days before because I was worried about how husband's attitude towards difficult child would be. He is still angry about how badly difficult child has treated me. What he doesn't understand is that his anger towards difficult child gets vented at me so he is just hurting me further and not affecting difficult child at all. I think he got that and is trying to move past it.

    So nice dinner, opened gifts and difficult child picked up some clothes and his ukelele from his room. Then difficult child had to rush to work for 5:00.

    Unfortunately he is still lying about things so most of what he says I take with a grain of salt because I figure at least 50% of it is not true. Sigh. I don't know why he feels the need to do that. And he knows how much I hate it. Funny, he said to me the other day - "I don't lie because I'm terrible at it." HAHAHA!!

    I'm not sure what is going on with this room he is supposed to rent. It's been a week since I gave him the money and he still hasn't moved in. First it was Wednesday then Friday. He keeps saying he needs another reference or a letter from his boss or he can't get hold of the landlord - always something which sounds fishy. Now he is saying that he's found another place that is a 3 bedroom and suddenly has found another couple that want to move in with him. If difficult child gets a room, they get a room and they find a new room mate for the 3rd room then they'll only be paying $292 a month each. Apparently it is available Jan 1. I told him to ask his friends mom that he is staying with right now if he can pay her a couple hundred in rent and stay until then instead of moving twice in 3 weeks. He says he doesn't want to do that because it might inconvenience her. In the meantime he's been living there for 6 weeks and not bought any food or given her a dime. ???? So, none of this sounds above board and I really don't know what is going on so I will just wait and see. I'm not going to worry about it.

    He did say he'd spend Christmas with my parents - at least dinner so I am relieved that I can take my holiday and not feel guilty that he'll be alone.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so glad your holiday dinner went well.

    Honestly I think the older generation difficult children can create more of a fuss/drama than many of the younger difficult children.......and worse yet, many feel entitled to behave that way due to age. So I'm glad your Mom did so well for your gathering. I'm sure that helped a ton.

    It's always nice when you can get through any holiday without difficult child drama.

  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    WTWE, that cracked me up. I wonder if your difficult child realizes the irony in his statement.

    And I'm very glad to hear that your early Christmas dinner went so well. A drama-free family gathering can be such a luxury when difficult children are involved. It's nice when one turns out.
    Have a lovely vacation.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Your holiday dinner sounds like it went pretty well. So much to be grateful for when ALL our difficult child's act well. You're doing such a good job of detaching from your son and communicating very well to your husband too. Great job Mom! Big congratulatory hugs to you!
  5. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I'm glad it went well too!!! My dad's side of the family has some senior difficult child's that I stay away from as much as possible. They have cause some BIG problems in that side of the family.
  6. Thanks everyone! It was a nice afternoon, overall.

    I hope my mother can hold herself together when difficult child visits her at Christmas.

    Trinity - I think the irony was completely lost on difficult child. LOL.

    Hound Dog - My mom totally feels entitled to behave the way she does. I can remember her getting mad at us at kids, telling us she was going to kill herself and it would be our fault. Ugh. Fun. I can handle her now but if she has a couple of drinks it's another story. Thankfully she only had a 1/2 glass of wine.

    RE - Thank you. You have no idea how much some of your posts have helped me. You are so kind and compassionate and smart too! I read your posts to others and learn for myself as well. :)

    Tired - Yup - gotta love those senior difficult child's! We have so many of them in our family and I have not seen many uncles, aunts, cousins in 25+ years and don't plan on ever trying to find them.

    Here's to a drama-free, peaceful Christmas for all of us!