You are unbelievably strong, smart and an angel yourself.
Leafie, whether or not this is true (my family of origin thinks I'm evil), it is so nice to hear this. I still have a slight voice in my head from long ago and from people, even in my own family, who don't really know me and think I am baaaaaaaaaaad so I have that in the back of my mind sometimes still.
Mental illness of any kind is so misunderstood. Doesn't matter if it's depression, anxiety, eating disorders, schizophrenia, or other forms...people with no clue, often who have issues of their own, tend to think it is willful behavior as in:
"Get out of bed and stop feeling sorry for yourself!" (depression)
They don't understand that these are physical disorders of the brain that can be treated successfully, but not quickly and not by belittling the symptoms of it. Not by calling somebody a bad person for getting manic or depressed or not eating because they are too sick to eat or not leaving the house because they are terrified to do so.
The young mentally ill do need older mentors who made it. I cherished the support I received in the hospital, in self help groups and in daily life. Why should I not give back? Nothing helps...nobody helps...as much as somebody who understands first hand, much as drug addicts respond the most to those w ho have been there and come out the other side. I know how depression feels. It is hard to explain to other people. It is a disease of screwed up body rhythms...you can't sleep normally or eat normally. You can't believe anything will ever get better (risk of suicide). You can't be happy, even when doing things you once loved. It is not possible until you are treated and better. Who else would get t hat other than people who experienced it? I'm certain some people who are reading this, don't believe it even though I've been there and posted it. It is also very hard to concentrate, even to read a book, if you have clinical depression or forms of bipolar. Your mind is not sharp.
Leafie, I feel for your girls and for every adult and young child here. That doesn't mean they are not responsible for getting better. They did not choose to be ill, but they do get to choose to receive help as I did and my goal is to gently lead a few people who suffer to the right help. We can't force it. But we can suggest. And we can listen and empathize. And not say, "Get off your ***** and you'll feel better." It doesn't work that way.
Our group is thinking of starting a "warm line" for nights and weekends and holidays, with other people who have been there manning a sort of "non-professional crisis line." Our crisis line in our town is useless. They don't know what to say. So me and one of t he other people I know are trying to get a list of people who will talk and give comfort to those during "off" times.
Leafie, this is not because I'm this great person. This is because I know there is a need and I remember all the strangers who helped me when my family did not and could not understand, even though every one of them also had issues, but they were in denial. I think the more we help others, the better WE heal and feel.
You have a great Christmas. Since we had Christmas last weekend in Chicago, today we are just having the Wisconsin part of t he family come over to exchange gifts and have breakfast. Since they already know who Santa is (lol) they are not coming over until 10:30 so hubby can sleep in.
Leafy, cherish today with your children who can appreciate what an amazing mother they have. Your other children are sick. I'm sure that they know this about you, behind the illness.
Blessings to all, in whatever way all of you celebrate. It is a magical day even for those who are not Christians. Enjoy the festive feeling of the day!!!!
Hugs to everyone.