After working so hard to have healthy detachment with my 33 year old difficult child for past horrendous 6 months, I was feeling pretty strong and thought Chrtistmas would be fine. I hadmy granddaughter here for 6 days ( his daughter) and I knew I would see him as I agreed to arrange a few meetings for them. One was at my daughters home and one was at a restaurant . For those unfamiliar with the saga I thought I had a restraining order but found out it has never been served. I do have a no trespassing order for which there is a warrant on him for when he came to our house begging for gas money and then drove away when my husband told him the police were coming . Anyway, the visits were so painful for me! All he wanted to do was repeat same stories he has been telling for over a year about why he can't find work why he needs us to give him money to go to a per diem job far away, living in his car etc etc... He repeats the same lines over and over. he was pretty distraught and I wanted to scream I felt so badly for him while at same time I was so angry and tired of it all. He wasn't even focused on his daughter. It was too much for me. We even gave him gas money for the millionth time so he could drive to see her!!! It felt like all the work I had done was down the toilet. Seeing him as someone with such a personality disorder or mental illness or whatever just made me so depressed. It was like I gave up hope that he will change and I now expect something awful like jail. I am getting back to my routine after being the sole center of holiday entertainment for 3 generations and I will prepare for more antics this winter. My therapist says this is just the beginning of the process of him growing up. Just the beginning?!? I m worn out with worry for how this will all turn out.