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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 753521" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>My first impression is that if we leave our house in other's hands, we can not expect things to be how we wanted them to be when we get back. It's nice if they are, but we can't leave instructions about how we want things to be and expect others to care about it like we do. If we want to keep our house a certain way WE have to do it, which means staying home and missing out on a lot of fun.</p><p></p><p>We can't control other people. I am the biggest neat freak in my family. Now I would not go on vacation without my husband, but if I did I would come back to a mess unless Amy cleaned and she doesn't clean to my high expectations either. My son cleans hastily and is messy, not dirty, but messy. But all of this would drive me nuts if I took a vacation and came home to it.</p><p></p><p>Yet I would have expected it. They are not me and are not going to follow my instructions. Even loved ones do things their way and it is not a lack of love or respect. i don't see it that way, at least. </p><p></p><p>On the part about rubbing your back and demanding sex and texting you a lot, you have a right to set boundaries on those issues. That would greatly upset me, I would state so once and tell him that I need his respect about my personal space/time and would get it or (fill in your consequence of choice,). There are times I don't want to be touched and I speak up and my husband is good with that. There are times HE needs to be left alone too and I respect that as well.</p><p></p><p>Have you thought of marital counseling? </p><p></p><p>Blessings!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 753521, member: 23706"] My first impression is that if we leave our house in other's hands, we can not expect things to be how we wanted them to be when we get back. It's nice if they are, but we can't leave instructions about how we want things to be and expect others to care about it like we do. If we want to keep our house a certain way WE have to do it, which means staying home and missing out on a lot of fun. We can't control other people. I am the biggest neat freak in my family. Now I would not go on vacation without my husband, but if I did I would come back to a mess unless Amy cleaned and she doesn't clean to my high expectations either. My son cleans hastily and is messy, not dirty, but messy. But all of this would drive me nuts if I took a vacation and came home to it. Yet I would have expected it. They are not me and are not going to follow my instructions. Even loved ones do things their way and it is not a lack of love or respect. i don't see it that way, at least. On the part about rubbing your back and demanding sex and texting you a lot, you have a right to set boundaries on those issues. That would greatly upset me, I would state so once and tell him that I need his respect about my personal space/time and would get it or (fill in your consequence of choice,). There are times I don't want to be touched and I speak up and my husband is good with that. There are times HE needs to be left alone too and I respect that as well. Have you thought of marital counseling? Blessings! [/QUOTE]
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