I'm looking for some help here on how to help difficult child 2 who seems to get very stuck on one way of thinking or in some emotion. When he had his neuropsychologist testing done the tester obseved that he had the highest number of attempts she had ever seen on this one test (moving pegs?)--he persevered doing it the same way each time even though he failed to accomplish the goal the first time around. I think she finally stopped him on the 18th try. If we say we will do something and event overtake us and we can't it is major drama. Sunday we said we go to the movie if he got his work done. Well, Sunday came and I ended up having to take my other son to the doctor because he was real sick. I didn't want to leave him alone to take difficult child 2 to the movies. We tried to brainstorm some other solutions--finding a friend to go with him (would have been ok but no friend around), renting a video to watch, etc but it all fell apart. Now he doesn't actually rage, which is good, but he gets so stuck in anger and nastiness. We can't even problem solve constructively. At my best, I end up having to disengage and go to a private place because I can't handle the abuse anymore and then he finally calms down--though whatever solution we might have come up with is long since gone out the door. If I tell him that he can watch TV after he does his homework and then when he is ready I remember that he has to brush teeth as well (long standing rule) there is major accusations of lying etc. I do my best to be consistent, have lists, but you know sometimes you forget every last little thing. And he is now almost 13. I feel like we are going backwards. I'm at the point where I don't want to promise to do anything. I feel like I need to qualify everything with the small legal print. Its not that we change plans often or are inconsistent. Its being forced to live in such a black and white world that all the joy or desire to anything has vanished. I have read Explosive Child. I know it talks alot about helping kids learn the skills of great cognitive flexibility, but I must say I am not doing a very good job of finding an approach that helps with these issues. Even if we try to bring up situations at a later date, it seems to trigger all the anger and nastiness all over again. Has anyone done anything systematic in this area and made progress? I've love to hear about it. Thanks.