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College daughter is prostituting, I don’t want her home for Christmas
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 725534" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry that your husband does not respect your feelings on this subject. I agree that you need to see some sort of counselor about this. Or at least sit down and hash it out before her next school break happens. </p><p></p><p>I can tell you what would happen if she were my child and this situation happened. First my husband would be MISERABLE. He knew I didn't want her there and she abused me with no consequences and he brought her there anyway? I would do so very little that he liked that his life would not be happy. I would not be spiteful, I would just act like he was not there. It is effective with my husband as I just stop doing all those little wifely things I normally do for him. Cold turkey. </p><p></p><p>Then my daughter would find that I had nothing for her. If she got abusive with me, she would find the cops there to remove her. If my husband was upset about it, he could go with her. If she actually hit me? I would press charges. Your husband cannot stop you from doing this. Of course I would NEVER hit her or threaten her as that would be illegal. </p><p></p><p>Given she is prostituting, she does not need your support. Chances are she makes quite a bit per hour. I would let her support herself if that is the lifestyle she chooses. Is she actually going to her classes? That lifestyle doesn't always lend itself to going to school. I would demand to see her grades before giving her a penny. </p><p></p><p>If the tension is too much for you, give yourself the best present ever. Go and take a vacation for a few days!! Even if you just stay in a hotel somewhere and eat and shop and watch movies with no one bugging you, go and do it! I think it would tell your husband exactly how upset you are about his decision to bring your daughter home this time. Maybe it would open his mind about how awful she really is to you.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes spouses just don't understand or see how bad it is for us. Either they are not there or somehow they don't comprehend what is going on. It wasn't until my husband heard me tell a judge what had happened, and saw photos of bruises left after an altercation, that my husband started to really grasp how bad things were when he was at work. He was completely shocked. I had told him, but he hadn't understood. When he did "get it", he was as sickened by his handling of the situation as he was by the situation itself. </p><p></p><p>You have to let your husband UNDERSTAND how badly this upsets you. Maybe leaving home at Christmas will do that. I don't know him or your marriage, so I don't know. My husband would figure out pretty fast that I was furious and hurt if I did that. You know him better than I do, so maybe it is time to think about what would let him know how hurt you are by his actions and how scared of her you really are. Or maybe it would be better to wait until she is out of the house and you have some time to work on him without her input. Only you know which is best. </p><p></p><p>Either way, don't be open and welcoming with her. It won't pay off. Set strong boundaries so that she has no opening to harm you. Especially don't ever leave your purse out in the open.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 725534, member: 1233"] I am sorry that your husband does not respect your feelings on this subject. I agree that you need to see some sort of counselor about this. Or at least sit down and hash it out before her next school break happens. I can tell you what would happen if she were my child and this situation happened. First my husband would be MISERABLE. He knew I didn't want her there and she abused me with no consequences and he brought her there anyway? I would do so very little that he liked that his life would not be happy. I would not be spiteful, I would just act like he was not there. It is effective with my husband as I just stop doing all those little wifely things I normally do for him. Cold turkey. Then my daughter would find that I had nothing for her. If she got abusive with me, she would find the cops there to remove her. If my husband was upset about it, he could go with her. If she actually hit me? I would press charges. Your husband cannot stop you from doing this. Of course I would NEVER hit her or threaten her as that would be illegal. Given she is prostituting, she does not need your support. Chances are she makes quite a bit per hour. I would let her support herself if that is the lifestyle she chooses. Is she actually going to her classes? That lifestyle doesn't always lend itself to going to school. I would demand to see her grades before giving her a penny. If the tension is too much for you, give yourself the best present ever. Go and take a vacation for a few days!! Even if you just stay in a hotel somewhere and eat and shop and watch movies with no one bugging you, go and do it! I think it would tell your husband exactly how upset you are about his decision to bring your daughter home this time. Maybe it would open his mind about how awful she really is to you. Sometimes spouses just don't understand or see how bad it is for us. Either they are not there or somehow they don't comprehend what is going on. It wasn't until my husband heard me tell a judge what had happened, and saw photos of bruises left after an altercation, that my husband started to really grasp how bad things were when he was at work. He was completely shocked. I had told him, but he hadn't understood. When he did "get it", he was as sickened by his handling of the situation as he was by the situation itself. You have to let your husband UNDERSTAND how badly this upsets you. Maybe leaving home at Christmas will do that. I don't know him or your marriage, so I don't know. My husband would figure out pretty fast that I was furious and hurt if I did that. You know him better than I do, so maybe it is time to think about what would let him know how hurt you are by his actions and how scared of her you really are. Or maybe it would be better to wait until she is out of the house and you have some time to work on him without her input. Only you know which is best. Either way, don't be open and welcoming with her. It won't pay off. Set strong boundaries so that she has no opening to harm you. Especially don't ever leave your purse out in the open. [/QUOTE]
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College daughter is prostituting, I don’t want her home for Christmas
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