College entry test anxiety

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by exhausted, Jun 28, 2012.

  1. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    difficult child finished all the registration stuff but the placement tests. She blew up at me when I finially gave her a deadline to get it done ( I know, not my job, but it was making me crazy all the stewing and not moving forward! I blew it). I sensed some anxiety was causing the wheel spinning. She said she was affraid of the math test and didn't want to get stuck in the basic math class-she felt it would set back her goals. She is great at math(she doesn't believe this), however, she has spent so much time in RTCs where they did not have teachers that could teach higher math especially calculus-they tried using an online program at state Residential Treatment Center (RTC) last year but it was not enough. We had a good talk about it being ok if she didn't get the highest math course(she talked her way to that point) and she could get to that level in the next few years. I reminded her that she is a whole year early and rushing and adding stress is not a good thing for her. She can be so insightful at times. I just worry about her constantly doing nothing if she can't do it perfectly.

    Still no court dated for stealing brother car. Troubles with her friends-they are immature and typical insensitive girls, she has really been trying to work through this. She expects everyone to be as insightful and sensitive as she is and the truth is, these girls have not been through the counseling she has, they don't get it. And she is too deep and quick to get hurt.
    We talked about how she will have a new pool of people at college....wouldn't you know it, when we went, we met 2 of the girls from her 1st Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and another girl from high school (now has 2 kids at age 19!). I thought of your experience at college with your daughter Nancy! Maybe the pool wont be any better.

    It's day by day. Some are better than others.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I have one of those and I am scared for him sometimes. He is SUCH a perfectionist that, yea, he would rather put it off than not do it perfectly. The pool of friends at college is such that she should be able to find "intellectual" peers IF she chooses to look for them. Here's hoping.......with lots of prayers thrown in.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    That is part of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
    They need to learn that there is a balance to perfectionism: Do the best possible... in the time allowed. The time constraint is what provides balance.

    For example: husband is totally Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about "clean house"... We've agreed, though, that it shouldn't take us more than X hours a week between us, and if it does - we either have to find ways to create less mess (I bought a basket for each person's "current" paper stack so I can whisk them out of view, for example), or relax our standards, or prioritize. Top priority is sanitation. After that? negotiate.
  4. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Most universities have free services to help students conquer test anxieties. That may be of help to her.

    Congrats on giving her deadlines!
  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Thanks Ag. I will mention this to her. I sure could have used those services years ago! She has the study guide now and spends maybe 15 minutes a day with it. She avoids dealing with it in any serious way. I hope she gets a lower class because I don't see her working through this anxiety-too much past history of avoidance and acting out.