comaheart, how are you doing this morning?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Kathy813, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hello commaheart, I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. I think the next morning is when things hit the hardest because you are running on adrenaline the first day.


  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Another here thinking of you.
  3. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    I too am thinking of you. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Please be sure to take good care of yourself after you get your difficult child settled. You have been through a traumatic experience.
  4. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Is that what it is? Today has been horribly hard. I'm normally a very emotional person. I cry at commercials for crying out loud! For some reason, I had been so cold about the whole thing. I figured I was in shock? Well, that's over now! I haven't slept and the tears are flowing. :( My heart is broken. Not only for him, but the other kids who witnessed the effects of his attempt. I can't bring myself to go into his room. It's too painful to see..

    We haven't spoken with our son yet. He called the house for his 5 minute phone call last night, but we weren't home. Not sure why he didn't call our cells? Hmm... maybe I actually do. I know he's angry with us, but he is where he needs to be. At any rate, I'm looking forward to talking with him this evening. **fingers crossed**

    We're still on the lookout for substance abuse treatment centers within a few hours of Oklahoma City that will work with our insurance. There are like 6 in the Dallas area that take adolescents. Our plan is to find one while he's in the hospital here and then he'll go directly to a substance abuse treatment facility when he's discharged. He doesn't know that yet. I'm not sure when we'll break the news to him. I guess when we get everything coordinated and we know it's a sure thing?

    If anyone recommends an adolescent treatment center in OK, TX, MO, KS... anywhere within a few hrs of OK please PM me!

    Thank you for thinking us us. It means a lot.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I've been following your post and sending caring thoughts your way. Tonight I'm posting because of you search for the right facility/treatment for your son. When we were at that stage I called Blue Cross and asked to speak to a facilities specialist. The lady I spoke to provided info on all the Fl. and Ga. facilities that were on their approved list. I ended up staying within Fl. but I "think" the out of State coverage was not as extensive as the in State. They also have/had a web site where you could get info on specific programs. Although we did not need dual diagnostic care there were a number of programs that combined mental health and addiction problems.

    The first program I chose based on personal recommendations. Unfortunately, there had been a complete turnover and the "outstanding" program was sub par. Interestingly it cost more money out of pocket that the best program in the State (which had extensive donor support and a generous sliding scale rate as the result). Take your time.
    Keep all your notes in a separate notebook with names, dates, etc. Sometimes an unsuccessful inquiry will put you in touch with someone who will share very valuable guidance. My thoughts remain with you. DDD
  6. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Here's another thought. We used an interventionist who also specialized in placement services. You could pay her by the hour for her help in finding the program that was the best fit for your loved one. You might want to call some interventionists in your area and see if anyone provides that kind of service.

    You are handling all of this extraordinarily well. The attempted suicide by your beloved albeit troubled child would bring anyone to their knees.

  7. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Thankfully, our Blue Cross policy pays the same anywhere. All that matters is if the facility is in-network/out of network. I've put in a call to someone who lives in the Dallas area to see if she can find anything out about the 6 facilities that I've narrowed down. They are all in network, adolescent, dual diagnosis, but beyond that and the differences in their website designs I cannot tell from here which one is better than another.

    Good idea calling an interventionist... any idea where I find one of those? I don't have the slightest idea of who to call to get something like that.

    I'd like to take our time, but I have no idea at this point how long the hospital plans on keeping my son? We have a meeting on Thursday morning in which I hope we will find out more. I sure hope they aren't planning on sending him home on Thursday. I asked his counselor and she said she'd be shocked if they did.

    *sigh* What a nightmare this is. :(
  8. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was given three names of interventionists in our area by our daughter's therapist. I'm glad to hear that the treatment centers that you are looking at are dual diagnosis. I have read a lot of recent research that says addiction and mental health disorders need to be treated concurrently if they are going to be successful.

    I know how exhausted you must be. It will actually be a relief once your son is in the treatment center.

  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Just checking in on you and wondering if you got that phone call from your son last night...and how it went?

    I wish I could recommend a good dual diagnosis drug rehab as I live in the DFW area. However, the one we sent our son's to in their younger years left a bad impression on me as one of the owners daughter's supposibly came to our home after our oldest difficult child (who used to be quite the "lady's man" sigh) was released. I never could "prove" this but needless to say even after many good experiences with that Rehab the daughter situation along with a news worthy tragic situation that happend there is just too much for me to be able to recommend them to anyone.

    If you would like I can pm you with the one my son's went to so as to avoid them.

    In any event, I am thinking of you today and am sure you must be busy making a gazillion phone calls as I do remember that time.
  10. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member


    Yes! Please PM me the name of that facility.
    My son did not call. :( I guess I shouldnt be surprised. It hurt a little, but I suppose that was the intent. We will see him tomorrow during a family counseling session. The therapist assured us they were not discharging him...

    I've made SOO many phone calls today. I'm starting to narrow things down so we are getting closer to finding him a good fit.
  11. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member


    I sent you a PM.

    I'm sorry you didin't hear from your son last night but maybe it has helped give you alittle more focus on the phone calls you've had to make looking for placement.

    I will be thinking of you while you go through the family counceling session tomorrow.
    And am also so glad that your son is not being discharged yet.

    Try to remember to take good care of yourself too.
  12. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'll be keeping a good thought for you tomorrow, also. He will probably be angry and insist that he shouldn't be there. Let the therapists handle his anger. Obviously, he is right where he is supposed to be.

  13. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi there comatheart,
    Thinking of you and wondering how your family counceling session with your son went yesterday?
    Also, I sent you a PM.

  14. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Well, our family session went well. difficult child looked really well, much better than he did on Sunday. His neck has healed a lot in just a couple of days. Of course he started out the gate saying he was sorry, and would change blah, blah, blah... We all pointed out to him that we'd heard it before and yet here we are. When the therapist began to tell him we all felt he needed an inpatient substance abuse program, he flat out shut down. Suddenly the dark cloud reappeared and he was back to the difficult child we've seen the last few months. He is angry. We tried to explain this was for the best, but I'm not sure how much he heard. We did get hugs goodbye, which was nice.

    So now, we're trying to pick a treatment facility. He will not come home and will go straight there from being discharged at the hospital. I have one reviewing his records and doing a "nurse to nurse" now. ++Fingers crossed they accept him. ++ One of the exclusions on most of the drug treatment facilities we found was "Psychosis" and he has had a couple episodes of that, being Bipolar. I'm not sure if they mean active Psychosis? If that's the case, he'll likely be accepted because he's not having active psychosis at this time. The hospital is keeping him until we make arrangements. (I'm so glad that isn't an issue for us to worry about!)
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank goodness the hospital is keeping him util a placement can be made. Good luck in finding the right place.
  16. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi coma,

    Does sound like the therapy session went as expected.
    It's probably not a concious thought but our difficult child's do tend to get angry when they are not in control anymore and when the drugs are taken out of their reach.

    Fingers crossed that the treatment facility you want will take your son.
    ps...One thing you might do while son is in treatment is write a letter explaining all the many ways your son has been a danger to himself or others. This letter may come in handy if you need to go through an "Appeal Process" in order to get a longer stay at rehab.
  17. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Good idea, I will definitely do that.

    You sound like you've been there, done that... is this common? I'm guessing after 30 days? Am I appealing the treatment facility or our insurance company?
  18. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi coma,
    I believe You will be appealing the Insurance company with the help of rehab. This "letter" is a very important part of the determination process to keep your son in treatment past the 30 day point...if needed.
    We did go through the appeal process and won.
    Both of our son's stayed many months beyond the 30 day point.

    Hope you are taking good care of yourself,
  19. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Thank you so much. I really appreciate all of your support and help in this.

    I went to visit difficult child today. I was really worried about how it would go because he was so angry Thur. after our family therapy session. He didn't call us yesterday. (They get a 5min phone call every day) To my surprise he was in a great mood. All smiles, and says he's not mad anymore. Even said he was excited to go to substance abuse treatment program. I pressed him why, and he didn't know why. Keep in mind he knows NOTHING about the program. Certainly none of the fun activities they do so where does the excitement come from?

    Ummm... ok?! Is he manic? I asked if they changed any medications and he said they increased one. You'd think they would notice that sudden change of mood right? Is he faking? Prepping us for one last ditch effort to talk us out of it

    Anyone have any thoughts?
  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It could be a lot of things. They could be talking up the program, the drugs may be getting out of his system so he is starting to think straight and realizes he has a problem, or he could be faking that he is better in an attempt to talk you out of going.

    It doesn't really matter since you know he is going anyway. I would just enjoy his positive attitude for now. It probably won't last.

    You are doing a wonderful job advocating for you son and finding him the right place to help get him on the road to recovery. It will be a bumpy road, though, and we will be here to support you for the long haul.