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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 750844" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You know, JP, I have thought that life sometimes can be hardest for those who come from a loving background, because they are unprepared for real life. Having protective and nurturing and strong parents, can be a set up too. Because what do you do when you encounter the opposite of that? You are unprepared and without defenses. It's like you step into a trap.</p><p></p><p>The human default is to hold oneself accountable, for most of us. Of course any life has it's vulnerabilities, it's hidden soft spots. But it sounds like in your marriage you got caught up with somebody who victimized you, you were unprepared and felt defenseless. Over time you became traumatized and paralyzed. A deer in headlights.</p><p></p><p>When I read this post, I hear such loving generosity of spirit. I hope you extend this great and gentleness to yourself, along with your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 750844, member: 18958"] You know, JP, I have thought that life sometimes can be hardest for those who come from a loving background, because they are unprepared for real life. Having protective and nurturing and strong parents, can be a set up too. Because what do you do when you encounter the opposite of that? You are unprepared and without defenses. It's like you step into a trap. The human default is to hold oneself accountable, for most of us. Of course any life has it's vulnerabilities, it's hidden soft spots. But it sounds like in your marriage you got caught up with somebody who victimized you, you were unprepared and felt defenseless. Over time you became traumatized and paralyzed. A deer in headlights. When I read this post, I hear such loving generosity of spirit. I hope you extend this great and gentleness to yourself, along with your family. [/QUOTE]
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