Hello there! I have been lurking for a few weeks and due to events these past few days, well I need to post for some advice. I have three daughters. They are ages 24, 21, and 7. I have one grandchild, who is the daughter of the 24 year old. I also have an elderly, disabled mother. The problem is my older daughters and my mother. My older daughter is a nurse and married to a staff sgt in the Air Force. In August, we went for the second time 2600 miles to visit them. While there, we took them on a round trip all expense paid trip to a national park (my idea as I wanted a family vacation we could all have good memories from) and boy, did I not fail! The morning after we got back, my son in law very agressively threw us out of their home and then had us escorted off of the military base. Why? Well, the original reason I was given was because my daughter and I had an argument about the way the babies were being fed- we did have a discussion but not an argument. I had to ask her after three days of constant junk food, cookies, ice cream, cupcakes, etc to please help me with the eating habits of her overweight youngest sister and stop with buying it all and introducing it constantly. So, that was the reason. I didn't even know we had an argument and he threw us out and she backed him up. My heart was shattered. When he finally called to apologize just last week (she still hasn't apologized although she swears she did), he told me the reason that it happened was that everyone's nerves were on edge from the traveling. Well, our nerves weren't on edge to the point of fighting and we traveled comfortably on an rv where my husband did all the driving and they did nothing but ride. So anyway, they are now home. They got here today and I suppose my daughter text me that they were here to just rub it in my face because the only time she will agree to see me is... the family Christmas dinners! I guess the only times she can come see me is to get presents. This is the bulk of the recent things that have happened. To make a long story short, she and I have just butted heads constantly since she's been about 15 years old. The only time she's nice to me really or has any time for me is if she needs something or I am already giving her something. For a long time, I blamed it on her husband but I am not really sure it is him. For example, today, when she text me that she is here, I invited her over. Her response? She's too tired to come cause they have been on the road for three days. Understandable except that she's staying a mile away from me and... she also didn't invite me over there. I told her I just wanted to see her and the baby briefly, just for a minute and no... she wouldn't budge. She wants me to give her "my schedule" so that she can figure out a time to fit me in. She suggested tomorrow and I agreed but then had to tell her that a close friend's kids would be here as I am babysitting them. This close friend isn't very many years older than her and my daughter is highly jealous of her to the point of even writing her messages on facebook several times telling her to stay out of her mother's life. So since those kids are going to be here, she won't come. My 7 year old loves her baby niece so much. The first year of my grandchild's life, they lived locally and we all became very attached to her as I babysitted her constantly. I was needed then as I was the only person who would babysit whenever and I was the only one she didn't have to pay. But now, she won't let me keep the baby and she also doesn't seem to have time to come and see me. She doesn't realize that this causes her little sister so much pain and all she does is cry and beg for her niece. I can't take it. I can't take seeing my baby hurt that much and not be able to do anything about it. That is only a very little bit of it and I haven't even started on the 21 year old who is homosexual and recently announced on facebook that she's considering a sex change. That one is in and out of my house constantly as she can't keep a job or a significant other it seems. She's a whole different story. And my mother? My mother is a very passive woman. She is still very depressed over my father's death 8 years ago. The problem with her? She tells me one thing and tells my daughter's another. It seems that she tells whoever she is talking to at the moment what they want to hear and then tells the next person what it is they want to hear and so on. All she seems to worry about is pleasing the person she is around that instant. I have had it. I have dreaded Christmas for weeks. Today, it was just too much with my daughter. I made reservations for me and hubby and my youngest at a local kids attraction that has indoor pools and constant fun for kids for the 23rd through the 26th. I can't take Christmas this year. At this point, the hurt is running so deep that I think it would be better not to see them at all than to just see them for two hours so they can eat and get things from me and then take off. I feel disrespected and very, very small. To say I feel unimportant is an understatement. Am I making the right decision?