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Parent Emeritus
Coming to a decision- temporary estrangement with family
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675274" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Nobody can really tell you. Only you can decide.</p><p></p><p>I would not accept second class treatment from my child. Not anymore. I would rather be alone with my significant other and he feels the same. </p><p></p><p>The thing you will have to accept is this: with respect to your daughter and her child, she is able to call the shots. She can set the times, where or when. She may perceive your decision as an escalation. You must be ready that she will withdraw your grandchild even more if that is how she decides to respond.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is this: What can you really do except take care of yourself and your husband and younger child?</p><p></p><p>No matter how much money you are willing to spend, it will never be enough, if money and stuff are the ties that bind. </p><p></p><p>If it was me I would rather have my dignity and peace and enjoy my holiday. And let her be. </p><p></p><p>In the 7 months I have been posting on this board there have been so many mothers expressing exactly this kind of pain. Daughters using access to the grandchildren as a way to fight. It happened to my Mother too. It was devastating. She finally accepted that my sister had the control. She learned to defer to my sister as much as her dignity allowed, but no further. It seems that is the only way.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. I am glad you found us. I am sorry you are in this situation. Nothing is fair about it. You will learn to take care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675274, member: 18958"] Nobody can really tell you. Only you can decide. I would not accept second class treatment from my child. Not anymore. I would rather be alone with my significant other and he feels the same. The thing you will have to accept is this: with respect to your daughter and her child, she is able to call the shots. She can set the times, where or when. She may perceive your decision as an escalation. You must be ready that she will withdraw your grandchild even more if that is how she decides to respond. But the thing is this: What can you really do except take care of yourself and your husband and younger child? No matter how much money you are willing to spend, it will never be enough, if money and stuff are the ties that bind. If it was me I would rather have my dignity and peace and enjoy my holiday. And let her be. In the 7 months I have been posting on this board there have been so many mothers expressing exactly this kind of pain. Daughters using access to the grandchildren as a way to fight. It happened to my Mother too. It was devastating. She finally accepted that my sister had the control. She learned to defer to my sister as much as her dignity allowed, but no further. It seems that is the only way. Keep posting. I am glad you found us. I am sorry you are in this situation. Nothing is fair about it. You will learn to take care of yourself. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Coming to a decision- temporary estrangement with family
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