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Coming to a decision- temporary estrangement with family
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<blockquote data-quote="NC Momma" data-source="post: 675277" data-attributes="member: 19884"><p>Hey there COPA,</p><p>Thanks for responding. You know, I am the first to admit that I wasn't a perfect mom to them. I was a single mom and for four years of their elementary/junior high years, I had to work two jobs. I wasn't there enough. My parents babysat them, and it sometimes felt as if they were raising them. I hated it. So, yes, I made mistakes. I wasn't perfect. But, for the life of me, I cannot understand why she does this. It almost seems as if they dislike me. And I don't know why. I also get the gut feeling they are both very jealous of their younger sister. As an older mother, I am well, a much better mother. I have more patience and more time. I have apologized to them for this several times though I really didn't think they needed an apology, I did it anyway Those two older girls have taken total control of the relationship and I feel as if I am left just groveling to them for the least bit of attention. I don't know where things have gone so wrong.</p><p></p><p>As for the baby, you are correct. She has 100 percent control. I told her today that the baby doesn't know us and I think that is sad. They were so close to my own parents- I don't understand where she feels a grandmother is so unimportant. They live 2600 miles away in the military so its not like the chance to visit with my granddaughter is a regular chance. It comes only twice a year. Today, I asked her if the baby could spend the night. I told her that they were also welcome to come sleep over. She said no, that she wanted the baby with her. I said ok, well you and your hubby can also come. She just said no. They are not spending the night. They have never stayed here with me when they came home. Not once. They usually stay with my mother. This time they are with his grandmother. They are here for 13 days. We are leaving the second week they are here ourselves- we made plans not knowing they were coming. She actually just told me yesterday that they were on their way so I had no idea. </p><p></p><p>Yes, it sucks. I hate that my grandchild is not in my life and that she's being taught that a grandma is so unimportant. It really makes me wonder what my daughter is thinking for she will be the grandma one day...</p><p></p><p>I hope you are having a great night and are looking forward to the upcoming holiday. It's great to meet you! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="NC Momma, post: 675277, member: 19884"] Hey there COPA, Thanks for responding. You know, I am the first to admit that I wasn't a perfect mom to them. I was a single mom and for four years of their elementary/junior high years, I had to work two jobs. I wasn't there enough. My parents babysat them, and it sometimes felt as if they were raising them. I hated it. So, yes, I made mistakes. I wasn't perfect. But, for the life of me, I cannot understand why she does this. It almost seems as if they dislike me. And I don't know why. I also get the gut feeling they are both very jealous of their younger sister. As an older mother, I am well, a much better mother. I have more patience and more time. I have apologized to them for this several times though I really didn't think they needed an apology, I did it anyway Those two older girls have taken total control of the relationship and I feel as if I am left just groveling to them for the least bit of attention. I don't know where things have gone so wrong. As for the baby, you are correct. She has 100 percent control. I told her today that the baby doesn't know us and I think that is sad. They were so close to my own parents- I don't understand where she feels a grandmother is so unimportant. They live 2600 miles away in the military so its not like the chance to visit with my granddaughter is a regular chance. It comes only twice a year. Today, I asked her if the baby could spend the night. I told her that they were also welcome to come sleep over. She said no, that she wanted the baby with her. I said ok, well you and your hubby can also come. She just said no. They are not spending the night. They have never stayed here with me when they came home. Not once. They usually stay with my mother. This time they are with his grandmother. They are here for 13 days. We are leaving the second week they are here ourselves- we made plans not knowing they were coming. She actually just told me yesterday that they were on their way so I had no idea. Yes, it sucks. I hate that my grandchild is not in my life and that she's being taught that a grandma is so unimportant. It really makes me wonder what my daughter is thinking for she will be the grandma one day... I hope you are having a great night and are looking forward to the upcoming holiday. It's great to meet you! :) [/QUOTE]
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