Community Service letter

[klmno]

Here's the letter I've written for difficult child to turn into school tomorrow to verify that he did community service. The principal didn't seem to mind what it was (it was short notice). She said it could be pet-sitting, neighbor's yardwork, basicly anything. My issue is with what brought this on. This is written to the principal- actually per the advice of the probation officer who is concerned that the other kid is just seeking to cause difficult child big problems.

Any suggestions, comments?

"This is to verify that XXX provided 12 hours of community service over the holiday break. The service included providing plants to two assisted living communities. XXX prepared 30 pots, planted ten different types of seeds, labeled pots, took care of plants until they started sprouting, and delivered them. Additionally, he helped a couple who both have health problems by doing yardwork for them.

Although I appreciate your decision to allow community service in lieu of suspending XXX from school, I would like to stress that the details I have heard from both you and XXX indicate this was a situation of self-defense. It greatly concerns me that another student could be so instigating, physically aggressive toward XXX, not stop when XXX tried to push him away, grab XXX’s neck twice hard enough to leave a mark on his throat for over a week, slam XXX into a wall, and when XXX hit him in the side and pushed him he still didn’t stop, yet XXX is left with a violation of the code of conduct for fighting. I would appreciate a second review of this situation, especially if the incident is going to be reported in XXX’s record and to the probation officer, the Guardian ad Litem, and the judge as “fighting” with no explanation of what actually transpired.

Furthermore, if the other student did not get more punishment than 12 hours of community service, I consider that an outrage. We all know that XXX would be in much more serious trouble had the situation been reversed, however, XXX has never been that physically aggressive. The actions of that student indicate a serious problem and should not be handled the same as the actions of one trying to defend himself or even the same as a youthful squabble that became physical. It would appear that the other student will continue to provoke these situations and could physically attack again. For this reason, I trust you will make sure that the other student involved will have no further opportunities to instigate incidents involving XXX in the future. And I trust this will be done without XXX being punished or singled out."

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Sounds pretty good to me.

Beth

 

[susiestar]

Good Letter.

So your difficult child got punished for defending himself against an attack where he was being choked? I know we often have to let the school handle these things, for the overall smoothness of our kid's lives, but I have a question.

Were assault charges pressed against the other student? I would think an attack of this nature would make that a possibility, even now after the fact. There is a statute of limitations on things for a reason. It might give you leverage with the school to make sure this other child is handled in a way that keeps him away from your child if you offer to press assault charges.

Schools do not like this as it makes them look bad.

I totally understand letting school handle it to some degree, but wondered if you had thought of this.

hugs to you and difficult child,

Susie

 

[klmno]

Yes, Susie he got punished for that. According to what the resource officer told difficult child, the pushing the kid away was acceptable, once difficult child hit him in the side, that made him a participant in the fight and they both get in equal trouble. Mind you, the kid had been getting in difficult child's face and bumping his shoulder earlier in the day, then after class started mouthing off. difficult child did say something back to him (not sure what) and other kid grabbed difficult child by neck and slammed him against wall. difficult child pushed him away but kid grabbed difficult child by neck and slammed against wall again- this is when difficult child hit him in the side and pushed away again. It still didn't stop the kid- the staff/teachers pulled him off. Other kid had no marks on him.

I thought about charges but decided against it just because there is concern that other kids might find out difficult child is on probation (if they're not already figuring it out) and that instigating problems (confrontations, fights) will ultimately cause difficult child bigger problems. We discussed it with probation officer, she saw the mark and seemed just as concerned as me. She suggested getting something from me in difficult child's file, appealing this decision if possible, and letting sd know to keep kid away from difficult child. And, we agreed that if other kid ever leaves a mark on difficult child again, charges will be filed- against kid and possibly sd. Also, probation officer said sd should be concerned that the kid would attack someone else, even if not difficult child.

I'll be bringing it up again at next IEP meeting- next week- and principal is on the team. This will ensure it's in writing in his record some way- even if my letter doesn't make it to the file.

 

[susiestar]

Might be interesting to find out if the kid who attacked your son has hurt anyone else. SD won't tell you, but another parent might.

Sounds like you have a good handle on this. Sorry you all are dealing with this crud.

Hugs to you and difficult child. If it is anything to y'all, I can't imagine any other kid NOT reacting the way your son reacted.

Susie