Compare and contrast...harder to raise a boy or girl

[Nomad]

Three questions.

Compare and contrast...

1. Is it harder to raise a boy or a girl? (In general)

2. What about raising a boy or a girl when they have "difficult child" tendencies...which is "harder?"

3. Which do you think there are more of when it comes to difficult children...boys or girls?

Thanks.

My thoughts:
1. Practically the same, but girls, perhaps ever so slightly (barely) harder.
2. The same
3. Practically the same, but boys, perhaps ever so slightly (barely) more.

 

[slsh]

1. A girl, hands down, without question.
2. My near-typical teen girl is consistently harder on a daily basis than thank you was. thank you was at least predictable. I never know which Diva I'm going to be dealing with - drama Diva, angry Diva, sullen Diva, happy Diva, stable Diva, hypersensitive Diva, positive Diva, negative Diva, or tearful Diva - and she can flip from one to the other in a nanosecond.
3. I think there are probably more boy difficult children - gut reaction, have no clue what I'm basing that on.

 

[Nomad]

Thanks slsh.
What is typical teen? Terrible Teen???
This is all unscientific, etc. But I find it interesting that there (I think too) does seem to be more difficult child boys in the end, even though we sure do have LOTS of discussion about girls on this website!!! Anyway...it's all just guesses.

 

[slsh]

LOL - terrible teen works, but it's actually typical teen.

 

[donna723]

I don't know if it was just my own particular two children but my daughter was definitely way harder to raise than my son was. Actually, my son had just as many problems as his sister did but he was a lot quieter about it. I guess it's just natural but with girls, once they hit about 12 or so, most of them have a real problem with their mothers ... they become rude, mouthy, disrespectful and defiant and most of it is aimed at their mothers. Then when they hit their late teens, they seem to grow out of it a bit. The mothers of my daughters friends had a lot of the same problems with them that I did. But I never noticed my son or any of his friends going through that same anti-mother stage when they were teenagers. He indulged in his own share of the mischief but he was never rude or defiant like his sister was at the same age. But again, they were going through a lot with their alcoholic father (before the divorce) and it could be just their individual personalities too. My daughter has always been the assertive one who spoke her mind while my son was always much more laid back and quiet. So who knows really.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Depends on the day/week/month/year... literally.
typical teen girl with pms is worse than a difficult child.
Know what I mean??

 

[Signorina]

I am not qualified to answer because I have 3 male children (and 2 brothers & 7 nephews! 1 niece -a easy child- so she's statistically not relevant for my answer)

While gender certainly could be a factor-I have 3 bio boys all about 2.5 years apart. My difficult child was a easy child until age 19. That said, they are all VERY different from each other. Especially temperamentally. So, it's never been a one size fits all approach to raising them. Different stumbling blocks, different discipline necessary.

I will say that in my humble opinion-I think difficult child boys can be more physically destructive & prone to bolder acts of violence & self destruction. On the flip side, I think girls may be more cruel and more inwardly self destructive.

I must confess -although I am sick with worry over my MIA difficult child-I think I would be even more worried if he were female. (from a victimization/pregnancy standpoint)

 

[Hound dog]

in my opinion

Girls are much harder than boys, especially once the teen years hit. Even with all his issues, Travis was a breeze compared to his sisters. (easy child and difficult child alike) All those raging hormones for one thing, worrying over pregnancy, date safety ect ect. Oh, and lets not forget the teen angst or drama either, you know the he said she said they said nonsense that can make them think it's the end of the world every 5 mins. Girls are much more inclined to be susceptible to that than boys. By teendom, Travis was pretty mellowed out. It was like it got flipped around. lol

 

[DammitJanet]

Well...I will say that until I hit the teen years with the grandkids....so far, girls are easier. I am hoping it stays that way...lol. Somehow I doubt it though but considering my kids, I dont know. They will have to be downright evil to beat them.

 

[DDD]

We've raised eight....four girls and four boys. One difficult child girl, two difficult child boys and two easy child/difficult child boys. With the girls we had bad boyfriend's and pg scares. With the boys we have had teenage rebellion, poor choices and substance abuse. All in all I would say it's a craps shoot. I learned to "man up" as a parent in my 30's and darn it...I'm still "manning up" in my seventies. I doubt it would matter what sex. It is what it is. Sigh. DDD

 

[KTMom91]

I'm going to guess girls are harder to raise, because of the drama Lisa talked about, though I think there are more boy difficult children. The only one of our three that ever had brushes with the law was Son #2, for something really stupid that he should have known better about.

I have more behavior issues in the classroom with boys and more drama and tattling with the girls.

 

[HaoZi]

While I have no experience raising boys, being as Kiddo's first bout of PMS left me with a 3" bruise, and I can't *wait* for the clothing, make-up, and dating battles to begin, I'll vote for girls being for difficult to raise. Would it be bad to hope I raise a cat lady hermit?

 

[Star*]

Well raising? I'd have to go with camp girl - we need so much more. lol

THen after you get OLDER?????? ..........MEN..........They get so NEEDY.......GOOD GOD what happens? Didn't they get enough when they were boys or wHAT?

If I knew then what I know now? I'd deprive every little girl of rhumba panties, and hair doo dads, and makeup and LAVISH my boys till the cows came home - and see if THAT had any bearing on old men NOT being so -
Honey I have a cold, Honey I can't reach my toe nails, Honey can you trim the hair in my ears, Honey will you look at this rash.......? GAWD.

 

[HaoZi]

I don't know, maybe if the boys were more self-reliant to start with, they wouldn't be so needy later.

 

[AnnieO]

OMG, hands down, GIRLS, whether they're difficult children or NOT!!!

OK, this is from personal experience, I was technically "easy child" but OMG, I do NOT know how I survived my teen years. It didn't help that I was so very much like my Mom - we butted heads constantly.

Now, from Onyxx and Jett - Onyxx has more baggage than Jett, but he learned to withdraw like a turtle. So there are different things to deal with. But... Onyxx was the reason I found this board, and though Jett has stuff I vent about... Mostly, he's not so bad. Just exasperating. Hardly self-reliant at all - and that's what I'm aiming for.

...He told Onyxx he was "never" getting his drivers license, because people could always drive him around. She told him we WOULDN'T and he'd have to WALK. Oh, HORRORS - WALK? So the kid who I am afraid to have on the road, wants hers, the one I'd be more comfortable with, doesn't. Go figure.

 

[Nomad]

I'm enjoying the responses. Thank you!

I have a boy and a girl and the girl is the difficult child. So, I know my views for difficult children or easy child/general kids might be jaded. However, when I look at my friends, particularly my friend with three children (all easy child), the two girls went through real big DRAMA phases for about a year during the teen years. He (the male) was an active little boy, but rarely, if ever, got into any trouble.

I do counseling work with young people, and there are many more MALES where the request has been made by parent or teacher for counseling. It is a MUCH higher percentage.

When I think of it, boy or girl, when it comes to my friends with easy child kids, a few had kids who rarely got into ANY trouble and a few had kids who went through phases of "stuff." But these phases usually lasted six months to a year (maximum) and then "poof" it was over. So NOT like having a REAL difficult child.

I do wonder if society is easier on girls ???? Or if girls, since they mature faster than boys, are able to get it together faster and therefore avoid more serious trouble later on. I do think boys have LOTS of pressure placed on them.

I think questions one and two might be influenced a lot by personal experience. ???? However, question number three...it seems to me that more males are arrested and get into the more serious difficult child problems...more prone to violence, etc.

 

[HaoZi]

Boys express themselves externally more than girls do, yes. Girls turn that turmoil inward and focus on what society expects of them, and that turmoil becomes those lifelong struggles with how they look, how they act, how they appeal to everyone, etc. They struggle for acceptance. Guys just fight and get it over with.

 

[AnnieO]

But she's SOOOOO CUTE! She could NEVER...

That's what husband got about Onyxx when she was little. Girls are VERY good manipulators... Onyxx avoided a LOT of trouble because no one believed a GIRL could do X, Y, or Z.

 

[InsaneCdn]

So the kid who I am afraid to have on the road, wants hers, the one I'd be more comfortable with, doesn't. Go figure.

Of COURSE, my dear. (elementary, shall we say?)
Driving is a major responsibility.
The kid who "gets" it, isn't so sure it's a good thing...
The kid who doesn't.... sees it as "the" ticket to freedom... and misses the rest of the picture.

 

[BusynMember]

I truly think it depends on the temperament of your boy or girl! I had one very difficult girl and one fairly difficult boy (my biological son, who has mental health problems...no drugs). My daughter was a risk taker and highly emotional and she was difficult. My son was mouthy and defiant and even slapped me across the face once and he was difficult.

Sonic is easygoing and easy to raise, even with his disability. Jumper, even when she has PMS, is easygoing and never ramps up the drams. She is always on an even keel. I really, truly do believe it is the inherent inner contentment of the child and whether or not there are psychiatric issues involved.

I am going to put in a good word for girls: In spite of the hello we went through with my oldest, J. is now my best friend and we are VERY close. I am already extremely, extremely close to Jumper. My adults son is not as close to me. Sonic is close to me because of his disability, but he sure doesn't like to go shopping to the mall like the girls do When my girls and I get together, we just have so much fun. My girls share everything with me. My boys are more quiet about their lives and less communicative. If I could only have one sex, it would be girls, warts and all. I feel they are a mother's joy, after they get over the difficult child...lol!