Compassion - Welcome !

[Ephchap]

Hi Compassion. I noticed your post at the bottom of another thread, and wanted to put out a welcome to you. This is a wonderful, supportive little corner of the cd.com board.

Putting together a week of sobriety and staying drug free is huge progress! Yes, most of on here have learned to be "cautiously optimistic" when any of our children start making forward progress. We're hopeful, but always cautious. Unfortunately, they have not given us a reason to trust.

Tell us a little about yourself and your situation. Most of us on here have either been through or are still going through - the throes of addiction of alcohol and/or drugs with our child.

I'm sorry you had to find us, as that means things weren't going well at home. However, I think you'll find this to be a great help - full of support, both informational and emotional.

Again, welcome aboard.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[compassion]

Thanks, that is how I Feel. She can't be home for more than a few days and then she bolts. I so much wnt to keep her home. The last 6 months have been unbelivable. She is now 15 and 7 months. She has run away dozens of times since June and found out this was the frist time she had not been igh in six months on the weekend. But she is about rady to burst and insists on living some place else. Staying someplace else. It si unsafe a lot so letting her releuctantly stays someplace and have been getting her but I am so exhausted. She has wrecked 3 cars (stole from us) , taken our credit cards and wracked up thousands of dollars. Since Nov. 1, she has had 2 weeks of not using (ist week and last week) but it is so difficult. She wS IN INPATEINT PSCH WARD JLY29-AUG.7 diagnosed bipolar, substance abuse and conduct disorder. She is on Abilify and Lactimal. She runs and self medicats somuch though that it is hard to stabilize. Try so hard and she bolts again. LTR rccomended by her p-doctor and i so mcuh want her to get the care she needs at home The t-doctor and I drew up behavirol plan last week and she complied but does nto eant to be at home which is frustrating. She puts herself in danger and restiss the structue and supervison I provide. Yeh, I know it is hew addctions, etc. I will be posting here daily!!!!
Sunday she was so tired but insistd on gongto thisother house and then she is texting and on my Space rather than sleeping. I was frustrated that this other family is enabling but have to majorally choose my battles. She tried out for club vollyblal, worked at Humane Society plus went to all the meetings and I am absoutely exhausted. Thnksgivng, the end of my son's sester and trying to do stuff with her. i want health so bad for her and she is not in good shape. It is hard to have th epatince. She distances from me. I relly, relly, really try. I read a lpost about the control sutff-that is major with her and I. I relaly try to choose bttles but her impulse control is so poor tht the supervison needs to be intense but she resists it. I think we need to easy does it. i want her here. We had t-doctor appointment. yesteday and i insisted she sign contract that put her here most of the time -she wants to live at this other place where there is nolimts. Plus, trying to give her the choice not to run and use so she can stay here versus go to ltr. I am too exhsutd to carryit out. She ahs been basically beenonthe streets the lst month and tyrng to reign her in is so exhausting. Yes, it is huge that she comlied wt AA but it was under threat that seh waould go to ltr. I am tryig to provide structure but I urn out very quickly. She does not want to be here and has that attitude and resstance constantly. She is at this at toehr house. I told her tonight she has to stay here so she can elp me shop for T-Day but I am so burned out. Thanks for listening. Compassion

 

[DDD]

Around here we call what you are doing for your daughter as being "A Warrior Mom". We understand that you are scared to death, exhausted beyond reason, probably frightened every time the phone rings and praying or dreaming that "an answer" comes soon. It is so painful when the child you love decides to make unsafe choices.

Evidently your daughter does know that you she is loved and is trying to take some "baby steps" back toward normal living. That is so hopeful.

Welcome. Post as often as you want and know that you can trust the CD family members in this sector to support you. DDD

 

[Ropefree]

That is no way to live for you or her. Is there any where that you could get her the
long term care to stabilize on her medications and get the behavor support?

 

[Star*]

Just wanted to add my welcome to you and your beautiful daughter.

Hugs

 

[recovering doormat]

I am so sorry for your troubles. You must be ready to explode.

I worry for your daughter with her impulsive behavior being in a house with few limits. She is so young. Don't know what state you live in, but is it an option for her to be placed by your children's services department in a therapeutic foster home?

Where I live in Connecticut we have a local nonprofit child welfare agency that runs a group home for children who need temporary placement, so you don't have to go through CPS and turn your kids over to the state, but your kids have a safe place to live while you get a respite. It's nearly impossible to give your daughter the structure and limits she clearly needs when you are so frantically worried and worn down.

Can her t-doctor help you find a place for her to go that is safe?

I think we're not supposed to mention particular programs and facilities, but my son's attorney told us about a nationally-known residential substance abuse program that is faith-based, and if I understood correctly, free if your child is accepted. He said that he has seen amazing results with very conduct disordered kids. If you can private message meI'll be glad to tell you the name of the website.