Not giving up Hope
New Member
My youngest son is 18. He was a very easy baby. Of three boys he was the happiest and easiest as a youngster. The secret trouble came in 7th grade. He started feeling depressed and suicidal but never showed it or told us. He lost 3 friends to suicide between 8th-10th grade. He says this is not the cause of his problems. In 10th grade his friends became scared over his behavior and his comments about wanting to die and report to my husband, who is a teacher at his school, that my son was in danger of hurting himself. We immediately got him in the hospital.
The first hospitalization opened our eyes to what had been going on. He had attempted suicide and was cutting his arms and legs a lot. We never knew. I would check on him when he seemed down and he always reassured me that he was fine.
Then the frustration began. He ended up being hospitalized 6 times over the period of 18months. Each time he "felt better" and was safe when he left but before we knew it he was right back in. Cutting continued and suicidal ideation continued.
He ended up dropping out of school because he couldn't focus on his school work. He did get his GED in April of Senior Year. He seemed happier from Nov-April. He was working full time, had a car and some freedom.
Now it's July and he takes his car and drives 1000 miles away to clear his head. We had no idea where he went and feared for his life. Friends came forward saying that he was posting suicidal thoughts again. These were not his daily friends but people that he knew from his hospital stays. We see the posts and are even more shocked how dark his thoughts were.
This is not the happy little guy we knew. He has tons of friends, always has girlfriends and a job. He came home after we tracked him down with the help of the police and he says he is fine. He isn't fine. Now he is 18 and I can't make him go get help. I just dont know what to do anymore. Family and friends are constantly calling us telling us he NEEDS to be in counseling and on medications but he says he's fien and refuses to talk to us.
I am at a loss. Im scared for him. I don't know how to get through to him. He has lived with unconditional love from his dad, myself and his brothers. He was raised in the church. What happened? There is so much more to this story that I didn't add. I am just overwhelmed to think about what he has been through in the last few years and how do we go on without paralyzing fear
The first hospitalization opened our eyes to what had been going on. He had attempted suicide and was cutting his arms and legs a lot. We never knew. I would check on him when he seemed down and he always reassured me that he was fine.
Then the frustration began. He ended up being hospitalized 6 times over the period of 18months. Each time he "felt better" and was safe when he left but before we knew it he was right back in. Cutting continued and suicidal ideation continued.
He ended up dropping out of school because he couldn't focus on his school work. He did get his GED in April of Senior Year. He seemed happier from Nov-April. He was working full time, had a car and some freedom.
Now it's July and he takes his car and drives 1000 miles away to clear his head. We had no idea where he went and feared for his life. Friends came forward saying that he was posting suicidal thoughts again. These were not his daily friends but people that he knew from his hospital stays. We see the posts and are even more shocked how dark his thoughts were.
This is not the happy little guy we knew. He has tons of friends, always has girlfriends and a job. He came home after we tracked him down with the help of the police and he says he is fine. He isn't fine. Now he is 18 and I can't make him go get help. I just dont know what to do anymore. Family and friends are constantly calling us telling us he NEEDS to be in counseling and on medications but he says he's fien and refuses to talk to us.
I am at a loss. Im scared for him. I don't know how to get through to him. He has lived with unconditional love from his dad, myself and his brothers. He was raised in the church. What happened? There is so much more to this story that I didn't add. I am just overwhelmed to think about what he has been through in the last few years and how do we go on without paralyzing fear