Concerned

[Hound dog]

Nichole is working hard at school. She does all her own homework, and she studies for hours. I'm amazed at the determination.

But she "failed" her first 2 exams for EMT. She didn't get an F. She got 74 percent on both, but in her program 76 is considered a passing grade. Anything lower might as well be an F. Sad when the poor girl studied so hard. Even I helped her with it. And I thought she knew it pretty well. Not perfect, but she had all of the next morning she spent studying too.

The scores came as a major blow. Especially this 2nd one. She was in tears. Nichole wants this so badly.

Brings up some old pains for the both of us. easy child has always been an overacheiver. Straight A's all they way thru, and mostly thru RN too. Even Travis could pull top grades in the right environment without alot of extra effort.

But Nichole has always had to work twice as hard just to get a C. The dyslexia makes reading more difficult, makes processing what she's read more difficult. I've no doubt in my mind she is as smart as her sibs. That isn't the problem. But it's so frustrating to have to work so much harder than everyone else just to pass.

And I know she's feeling some pressure to do very well, although I've never faulted lower grades when I know the work has been put into it. She sees her sibs, and now me in school and she looks at her own.........and well.........I think it's shaking her confidence. And we all know she's just been getting that here lately.

I don't want her to give up on herself. And seeing her cry over that last test just broke my heart.

I'm going to sit down with her again and help her organize notes and info for studying. Teach her how to condense the vast amount of material she has to learn down to what's important so she knows where to focus her attention. I hope that helps because I don't know what else to do to help her.

The good thing is that the instructor will let them retake 2 tests. She's requested to re-take this one, and hopes to save the other for if she has trouble on another test.

On a brighter note......she does very well with the procedures, the hands on part of it.

It might be too that she's been somewhat distracted. She's worrying over the MRI the doctor refuses to give her the results for until he sees her face to face, and the EMG. Although the EMG doctor was very nice and told her the results before she left. Which was negative. And explained that whatever she has going on isn't due to the spine or nerves in her arms, it didn't mean that she wasn't having the symptoms. Just means whatever is causing it won't show up on his specific tests.

She sees the doctor on tues morning for the results of the MRI. So maybe, hopefully, that will end her worry and that distraction.

Guess maybe I'm being a worry wart. But geez, the kid has just been ever so slowly building some confidence in herself......She's doing very well in her other classes. I just don't want to see what she's gained lost.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

I know your helping and she is working hard at this...is there a tutor that could help also or a different way to take the tests. I know some colleges are offering alternatives to normal testing. Has she inquired about that? I know that she won't want to have herself stand out like that but if it means the difference on the grade it might be worth it to find out if there are alternatives to testing.

Many hugs to your mommy heart and to her for her struggle.

beth

 

[crazymama30]

If she has documented disabilities, then I am pretty sure the college has to offer tests in a different environment for her, offer her more time, things like like. The college should have a disability office or contact, have her talk to them.

 

[susiestar]

Does the instructor know she has dyslexia? Is she eligible for accomodations? I thought (and could be very wrong) that if a school had any federal funding then they would have to make accomodations for learning disorders, like extra time on tests, tests read out loud, etc....

Can she get her textbooks in an audio format? You may have to call the publisher to see if this is available. I just remember a classmate years ago who had the books, but also the audio to go along. It REALLY helped. I also know my mother read some of her chapters onto audiotape and would listen to it during her commute to UC (Univ of Cinci). This helped her a lot. She also posted notes on concepts she had trouble with around the bathroom walls so she could see them when she went to the bathroom. (My mom was a genius at finding ways to use those few minutes here and there to help her study)

Hugs to you all.

Susie

 

[Hound dog]

Fortunately she does have all the cd's to the textbooks. And I'm going to surprise her with a cd player when own loan refunds come back here soon. But she just got the idea to listen to them in the car on her way to and from school. I think that will help alot.

I've been trying to get her to go to the school's disabilities advisor/accomodator but so far she hasn't. It's a sensitive thing for her. Always has been. Didn't help that the so called accomodations they gave her in the public school were a joke and didn't help at all.
She does get alot of word pronounciation and definitions from me while we study. I do it without thinking, did it for easy child too. I grew up with this stuff quite literally. So for me the long unpronouncible words are easy. I keep reminding her of that, but I'm scared that old frustration may creep in. And I'm worried she's gonna start thinking she's dumb again. And she's far from it.
I'm hoping once she catches on to how to condense the material it will help. She does really well with answering the workbook homework questions and vacabulary. It's just it's all scattered over 4 and 5 chapters at a time and she's never had to study that much at once before.

 

[mom_to_3]

Along with the study help you are giving her, now is also the time to explain to her how each of us have different gifts and talents and none are more important or better than the other. Look for her positives. Teach her to value herself for the tenacity and ambition that she exhibits every day. It will pay off. Acknowledge the effort she puts forth. Everyone in this world has some issue that gets in their way, in some shape or form and we all learn ways to compensate. "It's not about the cards you are dealt in life , it's more about how you play them." seems to be a fitting statement right now. Tell her to hold her head high and as long as she tries her best, that is all anyone could ask of her.

I've had this same thing come up in my family, of course raising 3 girls!

 

[Marcie Mac]

Lisa - Myself and the two boys (Jamie has been diagnosis'd as dyslexic,I have a learning disability in Math, and Danny, who has the attention span of a piece of lint) are auditory learners, while eldest never had a problem reading and comprehending what she has read and without effort pulled A's. The only time she would tank on a test is if she had any anxiety going on about it.. She had to get her Ins. License, and failed the test a total of 9 times. She cried each and every time with frustration because it was mandatory she have one if she wanted to work in that field, and it was stressing her out because she never had a problem acing a test.

Jamie does probably 95% of his computer classes via audio books - he has never been big on reading, and has a small problem with retention when he does have to learn that way.

Maybe its just a lot of stress being caused because she wants this really badly??

I had math tutors all thru school and still could not "get" the concept of math beyond rudimentary stuff (pretty scarey huh because I am the one who figures out how much people pay for their insurance LOL) I would be totally unemployed if calculators had not been invented.

Maybe once all of the stress of her medical tests are over with she will be more able to focus..

Marcie

 

[Wiped Out]

Poor Nichole. I always feel bad when someone studies so hard and still doesn't pass. It really sounds like have the test read to her and being able to respond orally might help. It's too bad in the past the accommodations haven't been worth much.

 

[Fran]

I'm with mom_to_3. Just because traditional academics are very difficult for N doesn't mean she doesn't have the capacity to learn or isn't talented in other areas. Traditional study skills certainly don't work for everyone.
If she chooses to not explore other options to help her in school then she is letting her weaknesses take priority over her strengths. Encourage her to get the help she needs. The school's disability counselor has a lot more knowledge and experience than you or N or us for that matter on how to get school to work for her.
She feels pressure to do well. Unfortunately, everyone does. What she does to get to that goal is the question.
You can offer suggestions and be her study helper but she has to want to find resources. You can't be there 24/7.
Maybe she will find a way to learn the material and pass the tests but I doubt it will be the traditional way.

 

[susiestar]

I think listening to the cds in the car is a brilliant idea. It could be really helpful. I have actually listened to them as I fall asleep and had that be helpful (not learning in my sleep, but the ideas got into my brain when the walls were not up so high, as I was falling asleep.)

She is a non-traditional learner, she is going to have to find non-traditional ways to learn. Encourage her to go to the school's counsellor for help - she is a very bright young lady with some roadblocs. The counsellor should be able to help her navigate those roadblocks.

Hugs to both of you.

 

[everywoman]

Lisa, there are these plastic see through sheets that you can purchase for dyslexia. They come in different colors. They lay on top of the text and help "unturn" the letters. I came across them years ago while teaching a student with severe dyslexia. I will search and see if I can find a site, but back then I found them in a teacher store. Might be worth looking at.