Conduct Disorder paper

Discussion in 'General Parenting Archives' started by mftstudent, Dec 1, 2003.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member


    Good luck in January. And be sure to keep notes of what is going on between now and then to bring with you.
  2. anotherday

    anotherday New Member

    Just really want to add one more voice. So nice that someone cares to even look into this aspect.

    I've had a couple of good weeks with my son. Almost makes me feel guilty when I read what some of the others go through.

    At various times, I've dealt with most of what the others have said, people judging, school systems that think they know our children better than we do, finding good doctors, being afraid of the powerful medications that are needed, finances, isolation, on and on.
  3. mftstudent

    mftstudent New Member

    I just wanted to let you all know that my presentation went very well. My professor and other classmates were so interested in your stories that I shared with them (they all thought that it was a great idea to explore those affected by CD). One of the questions that my professor asked me was, "Knowing what you do about children with CD, would you still like to work with them and their families?" I said that my desire to help children with this disorder, and similar ones (and their families), grew after reading the stories that you have shared with me (so realize that you have affected and moved at least one future therapist).

    You all are just like any other parents, in that you want the best for your children and want desperately to help them. Although I know it could be really hard at times, I am willing to work through those times towards change (especially if the child's parents are anything like you all, so vested in finding ways to help). It would give me so much satisfaction to try to help and then (hopefully) to see those changes (improvements) being made in the child.

    Anyway, thank you all, once again, for all of your help. I'll let you know what kind of grade I get (when I find out).
  4. momto3

    momto3 New Member

    So many good posts, but I want to add on just for therapeutic value to myself.

    -not being able to look at baby pictures of your child because the pain of the shattered dreams and what might have been is too great

    -realizing that you never look at your scrapbook because a painful memory lurks behind almost every photo

    -seeing your parents' pride and joy at becoming grandparents turn to disgust/embarassment

    -feeling like a failure every day no matter how my life looks on the outside or what other achievements I may have made

    -feeling the romance/closeness of your marriage slip away because of never having time to reconnect due to babysitter issues

    -not being able to go on family vacations (and denying that to your other children) because you can't imagine being trapped in a plane, car or hotel room with your child for a week

    -having your stomach drop to the floor every time your younger children have a tantrum or misbehave because you fear it starting all over again and wonder how you will survive another 'challenging' child

    -having to listen to friends drone on about their wonderful, perfect children and sitting silent the whole time because you have nothing ;positive to say about your own

    -feeling guilty for having nothing positive to say about your own child

    -as you watch your child in their moments of insanity, begin to question you own

    -not feeling like you have any refuge or peace- your own home feels like an insane asylum and battle ground

    - not being able to sleep the night before a playdate or other social function

    -having a long list of stores, restaurants and places that you will no longer go to because of embarassing/bad memories with your child there

    -wanting to have just one family meal (in or out) that doesn't end in a shouting match or you with indigestion

    - having your blood pressure off the scales despite high doses of medication due to the stress level in your life

    -losing your voice often due to screaming matches

    - wondering what has become of that young, vibrant, happy young woman who was so eager to start of family with her husband

    - realizing that your child never smiles

    -realizing that you never smile any more

    I could go on and on, but these came to mind right off the bat. Thanks for listening.
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Glad we could help. Hope you can affect change.A cure would be good.

    We'll be waiting about the grade. We quickly become board Aunties.
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Hoping you get a good grade so you can help parents someday!

    Take note, we are parents that care very deeply and have done a ton of research ourselves. But, please do not downplay a parent that has not. I know they are under tremendous stress. They may not have the resources or be able to take the time to learn as we have. I have a friend (sort of Ex-friend as I refused to take in her child) that is an alcoholic now and her 2 children (only one is a difficult child) are in Foster homes now. I am sure she drinks due to her difficult child and nobody in the 'system' is recognizing the difficult child for a difficult child - at the very least she is depressed and ODD. Even with me telling that alcoholic mother about this site - she does not have the skills to come here and become an advocate. I feel bad for all three of them. If they could get a counselor that would help difficult child, help easy child (who will probably not be a easy child when this is over) and assure the mom that she was a good mom and the situation drove her to drink.

    Just putting it out there for future reference if you ever run across a parent that is not as informed as all of us.