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<blockquote data-quote="Janna" data-source="post: 67743" data-attributes="member: 2737"><p>I think it's good that you let SO be the marshmallow for now. In all honesty, it doesn't sound like your SO is ready to deal with your difficult child, and her doing so may cause more problems down the line.</p><p></p><p>My SO and I have been together a long time. We make sure we are on the same page for every rule and every consequence across the board. It used to be everything was clearly written on construction paper or dry erase boards so that all children knew exactly what to expect for each behavior, negative or positive.</p><p></p><p>We don't do Ross Greene. Smallworld's suggestion of letting your difficult child go first all the time is, in my opinion, not okay. Yes, taking turns, one thing. Allowing difficult child to always go first means difficult child is always going to want to go first all the time. I've read The Explosive Child and read many of the posts here regarding such, and I don't have a desire to prioritize rules. The rules are the rules are the rules, end of discussion. I don't care what my child's diagnosis'es are.</p><p></p><p>I think you should make the same rules across the board for easy child and difficult child. I have a easy child and TWO difficult child's, and they all three have the same rules, same privelages, same consquences. They all earn equally, and lose just as equally. </p><p></p><p>The more you allow your difficult child to slide due to empathy, the more problems you are going to have later on down the road. You should have clear rules with clear consequences that are the same every single time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janna, post: 67743, member: 2737"] I think it's good that you let SO be the marshmallow for now. In all honesty, it doesn't sound like your SO is ready to deal with your difficult child, and her doing so may cause more problems down the line. My SO and I have been together a long time. We make sure we are on the same page for every rule and every consequence across the board. It used to be everything was clearly written on construction paper or dry erase boards so that all children knew exactly what to expect for each behavior, negative or positive. We don't do Ross Greene. Smallworld's suggestion of letting your difficult child go first all the time is, in my opinion, not okay. Yes, taking turns, one thing. Allowing difficult child to always go first means difficult child is always going to want to go first all the time. I've read The Explosive Child and read many of the posts here regarding such, and I don't have a desire to prioritize rules. The rules are the rules are the rules, end of discussion. I don't care what my child's diagnosis'es are. I think you should make the same rules across the board for easy child and difficult child. I have a easy child and TWO difficult child's, and they all three have the same rules, same privelages, same consquences. They all earn equally, and lose just as equally. The more you allow your difficult child to slide due to empathy, the more problems you are going to have later on down the road. You should have clear rules with clear consequences that are the same every single time. [/QUOTE]
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