Why can't difficult children connect the dots???? Some seem to be able to connect A to B, OR, B to C, but rarely can any of them connect A to B to C!!!! Eeyore has a list of 12 things he wants. These are all pretty reasonable wants...minutes on his cell phone, a ride to the movies with his girlfriend, etc. A couple are 'bigger'...get his driving permit, get a job, etc. I spent hours creating a contract to allow him to earn each of the items he asked for, we worked on it in family therapy. Eeyore is still frustrated because he didn't "agree to work for those things" and he still just wants to get them cause he thinks he is ready. Sadly, Piglet passed him long ago on the "teenager" things she is allowed to do. And Tigger is starting to get more freedom -- because he is showing greater responsibility and maturity than Eeyore. I know it is hard to see your younger siblings getting to do what you want so badly. What I do not get is having a detailed, reasonable list of steps to take to get to do those things and REFUSING to do it. I considered that he wasn't capable of doing the steps -- but that doesn't seem to be the issue, it seems to be more refusal (you can't make me!!). Last week, Eeyore tried out for the school volleyball team. Everyone made it and he was excited. He quit today because he wanted to hang out near his girlfriends practice instead of go to his own. Of course, he quit the team!! We can see... A. Quit the team. B. No need to stay after school. C. Get picked up at 3pm when I pick up the others. Eeyore will not make that connection. In his mind... A. Want to hang out near girlfriend's practice. B. Quit my team to create freetime C. Have parents drive out special to get me whenever I call. It cost about $8 in gas to go get him. That would be $40/week and way, way beyond his allowence even if he paid for the gas!!!