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Consequences? what's next?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 44277" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>About YOU punishing him - don't. You weren't there, you don't know what happened. The school has set punishment, you shouldn't add to it. Frankly, I think suspending a kid for this is crazy, so t here's either more to the story or the school is way over the top.</p><p></p><p>That doesn't mean you reward him, or make his life easy. Some idiot has sent him home as PUNISHMENT!??!? (yeah, right... no school for a few extra weeks = punishment... in whose dictionary?). So THAt is what you have to deal with.</p><p></p><p>I would set what has long been a rule in our family - school work during school hours. If he's not in mainstream, he can do other schoolwork which either you can set him, or the school can send home. Make it clear, this is no holiday. One way or another, he HAS to get an education between his two ears and that thick skull. He may as well learn to educate himself, if his school is going to send him home like this.</p><p></p><p>Alternative - get a job. Either a paying job, or a volunteer position. He needs a work ethic. He can have some choice, but during school hours he must be positively occupied, not loafing around. Suggested jobs (volunteer or otherwise) - shovelling manure on a farm, a stables or a zoo (difficult child 1 did this last one). Helping out by talking to residents, reading to them and other fiddly things at an old folks home or nursing home. Maybe just letting them talk while he listens. Helping them post letters, thread needles, whatever. Bagging groceries. Flipping hamburgers. Washing up. Mowing lawns. Weeding gardens. Mending clothes.</p><p></p><p>He may see this as you punishing him, but make it clear that you are not. What you ARE doing, is filling in the necessary education gap as well as teaching him about knuckling down and getting on with the job.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 learned very little, if anything, in mainstream school. He learnt far more during his enforced stays at home, and now does all his school from home, much more successfully. But what set him up for this - "school work during school hours".</p><p></p><p>Good luck. And do some digging, but listen to both sides. I really don't like the sound of this. A smart-mouthed kid needs to be handled a different way. And security staff are not so thin-skinned. There is a lot more to this story that you haven't been told, by difficult child or by the school.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 44277, member: 1991"] About YOU punishing him - don't. You weren't there, you don't know what happened. The school has set punishment, you shouldn't add to it. Frankly, I think suspending a kid for this is crazy, so t here's either more to the story or the school is way over the top. That doesn't mean you reward him, or make his life easy. Some idiot has sent him home as PUNISHMENT!??!? (yeah, right... no school for a few extra weeks = punishment... in whose dictionary?). So THAt is what you have to deal with. I would set what has long been a rule in our family - school work during school hours. If he's not in mainstream, he can do other schoolwork which either you can set him, or the school can send home. Make it clear, this is no holiday. One way or another, he HAS to get an education between his two ears and that thick skull. He may as well learn to educate himself, if his school is going to send him home like this. Alternative - get a job. Either a paying job, or a volunteer position. He needs a work ethic. He can have some choice, but during school hours he must be positively occupied, not loafing around. Suggested jobs (volunteer or otherwise) - shovelling manure on a farm, a stables or a zoo (difficult child 1 did this last one). Helping out by talking to residents, reading to them and other fiddly things at an old folks home or nursing home. Maybe just letting them talk while he listens. Helping them post letters, thread needles, whatever. Bagging groceries. Flipping hamburgers. Washing up. Mowing lawns. Weeding gardens. Mending clothes. He may see this as you punishing him, but make it clear that you are not. What you ARE doing, is filling in the necessary education gap as well as teaching him about knuckling down and getting on with the job. difficult child 3 learned very little, if anything, in mainstream school. He learnt far more during his enforced stays at home, and now does all his school from home, much more successfully. But what set him up for this - "school work during school hours". Good luck. And do some digging, but listen to both sides. I really don't like the sound of this. A smart-mouthed kid needs to be handled a different way. And security staff are not so thin-skinned. There is a lot more to this story that you haven't been told, by difficult child or by the school. Marg [/QUOTE]
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