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<blockquote data-quote="PirateMom" data-source="post: 628214" data-attributes="member: 18076"><p>Whoa! How did we turn difficult child's into some clueless, humiliating, verbally abusing ex? I don't know your life, or your situation. So I'm not going to make assumptions about who is right or wrong. No one here should. </p><p></p><p>My unobjective opinion is if something is work for difficult child's dad and his son is behaving then he shouldn't have to change. If it's not broke don't fix it. Besides you can't change anyone but yourself and how you handle a situation. difficult child's dad seems to have something that works for him, you need to focus on what works for you when difficult child is with you. </p><p></p><p>My difficult child niece is completely disrespects her mother, throws fits and is rebellious. But when she's with her father she's on good behavior, same as when she comes over to my house once a week. The reason was we've both establish with her what was acceptable behavior and what was not. And part of it is because we've removed her from her natural environment. That could also be a big factor, he's at home with you and comfortable. </p><p></p><p>And it's good to explore what works. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>How can you say something isn't working when you didn't really stick to the program? Kids need boundaries. They need to know when they do something good with lots of encouragement and praise and when they step out of line, you need to be there to firmly scoot them into line. If you aren't consistent then you're sending him mixed signals. He's going to keep acting up because you've taught him that sometimes he can get away with it. So why should he change? I believe in consequences. Everyone should be held accountable for their actions. </p><p></p><p>Negative behavior should have a price. = Time outs, no Tv time, standing in a corner, no video games, early bed time...whatever it works. But most importantly...good behavior gets rewards!!! Stay up a little later, maybe a sweet treat, gets to watch his favorite movie, or go out for pizza. </p><p></p><p>Be consistent, set rules and stick to your guns! You can do it, it will be hard at first for both of you. But it will pay off in the end.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PirateMom, post: 628214, member: 18076"] Whoa! How did we turn difficult child's into some clueless, humiliating, verbally abusing ex? I don't know your life, or your situation. So I'm not going to make assumptions about who is right or wrong. No one here should. My unobjective opinion is if something is work for difficult child's dad and his son is behaving then he shouldn't have to change. If it's not broke don't fix it. Besides you can't change anyone but yourself and how you handle a situation. difficult child's dad seems to have something that works for him, you need to focus on what works for you when difficult child is with you. My difficult child niece is completely disrespects her mother, throws fits and is rebellious. But when she's with her father she's on good behavior, same as when she comes over to my house once a week. The reason was we've both establish with her what was acceptable behavior and what was not. And part of it is because we've removed her from her natural environment. That could also be a big factor, he's at home with you and comfortable. And it's good to explore what works. How can you say something isn't working when you didn't really stick to the program? Kids need boundaries. They need to know when they do something good with lots of encouragement and praise and when they step out of line, you need to be there to firmly scoot them into line. If you aren't consistent then you're sending him mixed signals. He's going to keep acting up because you've taught him that sometimes he can get away with it. So why should he change? I believe in consequences. Everyone should be held accountable for their actions. Negative behavior should have a price. = Time outs, no Tv time, standing in a corner, no video games, early bed time...whatever it works. But most importantly...good behavior gets rewards!!! Stay up a little later, maybe a sweet treat, gets to watch his favorite movie, or go out for pizza. Be consistent, set rules and stick to your guns! You can do it, it will be hard at first for both of you. But it will pay off in the end. [/QUOTE]
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