dstc_99
Well-Known Member
How the hell do I handle this? Bio Dad walked out before she was born and hasn't been heard from since.
I guess my real question is how do I walk this line? If I give him too much information difficult child will hate me for it? If I don't tell him what is going on he will get crazy information from difficult child? He deserves to know what her life has been like considering he is her father and I will not lie to him about it. On the other hand I want them to form their relationship without any bias from me or outside drama from anyone else.
The upside is he has been very considerate and very compassionate about the situation. I have let him know he needs to let her do this in her own time. I also let him know I told her to be respectful of his wife and child and not do anything to damage that relationship. He isnt pushing for anything but he is open to getting to know her. I am not angry with him for leaving years ago. It was difficult to raise a child alone but it was probably for the best that we seperated and got our **** together. But difficult child may be deeply angry and I don't know how to prepare either of them for what happens. Yes I know that isn't my job to prepare them but I don't want difficult child hurt by him and honestly I don't want him hurt by her because it could ruin all future interactions.
Dear God I feel like this could fall apart at anytime and my stomach is in knots. My mother was apparently very angry when she contacted bio dad on the phone so bio dad doesn't want to deal with her. I understand that but I know that she will be the one advising difficult child and speaking about him to difficult child. My father, I have no idea how he feels about it other than he probably doesn't have the best opinion of bio dad since he left me alone to raise a baby. My husband seems ok with the situation but I don't want him to feel like me being in contact with bio dad will affect our relationship at all. I don't want him jealous or worried. difficult child doesn't know what she wants and if she does she wont communicate it to me. Bio Dad isn't sure what he wants or if he can give what she needs but he is open to communciation.
OK ----deep breaths-----I absolutely hate when everything is up in the air and I can't control it!
I guess my real question is how do I walk this line? If I give him too much information difficult child will hate me for it? If I don't tell him what is going on he will get crazy information from difficult child? He deserves to know what her life has been like considering he is her father and I will not lie to him about it. On the other hand I want them to form their relationship without any bias from me or outside drama from anyone else.
The upside is he has been very considerate and very compassionate about the situation. I have let him know he needs to let her do this in her own time. I also let him know I told her to be respectful of his wife and child and not do anything to damage that relationship. He isnt pushing for anything but he is open to getting to know her. I am not angry with him for leaving years ago. It was difficult to raise a child alone but it was probably for the best that we seperated and got our **** together. But difficult child may be deeply angry and I don't know how to prepare either of them for what happens. Yes I know that isn't my job to prepare them but I don't want difficult child hurt by him and honestly I don't want him hurt by her because it could ruin all future interactions.
Dear God I feel like this could fall apart at anytime and my stomach is in knots. My mother was apparently very angry when she contacted bio dad on the phone so bio dad doesn't want to deal with her. I understand that but I know that she will be the one advising difficult child and speaking about him to difficult child. My father, I have no idea how he feels about it other than he probably doesn't have the best opinion of bio dad since he left me alone to raise a baby. My husband seems ok with the situation but I don't want him to feel like me being in contact with bio dad will affect our relationship at all. I don't want him jealous or worried. difficult child doesn't know what she wants and if she does she wont communicate it to me. Bio Dad isn't sure what he wants or if he can give what she needs but he is open to communciation.
OK ----deep breaths-----I absolutely hate when everything is up in the air and I can't control it!