Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Copa, a continuation on spiraling out of control
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759791" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi everybody. More specifically Hi Deni, RN, Waiting and Miracle.</p><p></p><p>I was feeling so sorry for myself before I came here. Tearful, really. Frightened and tired of all of this. What all of you say makes so much sense. I should feel hopeful. A hospital is much better than sleeping outside in 30 degrees in shrubs in a shopping center. Except the thing is, I tried so hard to believe that his behavior was willful. That he was sane and only difficult and resistant; that he was doing all of this on purpose. Even when people told me; friends told me; I got mad. I would not believe it. What's wrong with me?!?</p><p></p><p>I will pray. That's all I can do. Is this the rest of my life? Cycling in this way. His poor insight and judgment. I am not looking for diagnostic help. But my deepest, darkest fear is he's schizophrenic. It's within the realm of possibilities. Yet he is so articulate and verbal and can have great social skills, He can be caring and empathetic. More likely is bipolar with psychosis, or cannabis-induced psychosis. But even that could never go away. I am just so very afraid. Why is it so much easier for me to be angry than to be so afraid and helpless?</p><p></p><p>I guess the worst thought is having to fight with him that he be treatment complaint or distance myself from him for the rest of my life. I love him so very much. You see, ours was a love story. Crying now. it still is. I just love him so much. I would do anything in the whole world for him. Why is it that love hurts so bad? Why me? Why us?</p><p></p><p>I've got my Portuguese Fado on and it helps me cry. Mothers have been crying for thousands and thousands of years. So what's new?</p><p></p><p>I went on my walk today, and I bumped into two ladies I barely knew. One was my son's kindergarten teacher. She had confided me once her son used heroin. I blurted out the situation. They looked so very uncomfortable. Like I had taken off all of my clothes and started to dance. (What a horrible thought.)</p><p></p><p>I want to thank you for your kindness and caring for me.</p><p></p><p>I just can't understand why they transported him so far if they didn't think he was really far gone, and that they could justify to the court that his hold would be extended for some time. You can see how this would scare me, at the same time it relieves fear. I mean it is so bad that they must think they can get a 2-week hold. That is bad.</p><p></p><p>M is just so frightened too. He's afraid that this torment by my son will go on. He is not tied to this. How will I handle it alone?</p><p>Thank you for being here with me.</p><p></p><p>Love, Copa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759791, member: 18958"] Hi everybody. More specifically Hi Deni, RN, Waiting and Miracle. I was feeling so sorry for myself before I came here. Tearful, really. Frightened and tired of all of this. What all of you say makes so much sense. I should feel hopeful. A hospital is much better than sleeping outside in 30 degrees in shrubs in a shopping center. Except the thing is, I tried so hard to believe that his behavior was willful. That he was sane and only difficult and resistant; that he was doing all of this on purpose. Even when people told me; friends told me; I got mad. I would not believe it. What's wrong with me?!? I will pray. That's all I can do. Is this the rest of my life? Cycling in this way. His poor insight and judgment. I am not looking for diagnostic help. But my deepest, darkest fear is he's schizophrenic. It's within the realm of possibilities. Yet he is so articulate and verbal and can have great social skills, He can be caring and empathetic. More likely is bipolar with psychosis, or cannabis-induced psychosis. But even that could never go away. I am just so very afraid. Why is it so much easier for me to be angry than to be so afraid and helpless? I guess the worst thought is having to fight with him that he be treatment complaint or distance myself from him for the rest of my life. I love him so very much. You see, ours was a love story. Crying now. it still is. I just love him so much. I would do anything in the whole world for him. Why is it that love hurts so bad? Why me? Why us? I've got my Portuguese Fado on and it helps me cry. Mothers have been crying for thousands and thousands of years. So what's new? I went on my walk today, and I bumped into two ladies I barely knew. One was my son's kindergarten teacher. She had confided me once her son used heroin. I blurted out the situation. They looked so very uncomfortable. Like I had taken off all of my clothes and started to dance. (What a horrible thought.) I want to thank you for your kindness and caring for me. I just can't understand why they transported him so far if they didn't think he was really far gone, and that they could justify to the court that his hold would be extended for some time. You can see how this would scare me, at the same time it relieves fear. I mean it is so bad that they must think they can get a 2-week hold. That is bad. M is just so frightened too. He's afraid that this torment by my son will go on. He is not tied to this. How will I handle it alone? Thank you for being here with me. Love, Copa [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Copa, a continuation on spiraling out of control
Top