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Coping with Gossip in the Family
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 623785" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Stress are you sure your sister and mine are not related? We use to be close, very close. We adopted our daugter at birth. My sister never understood that and even made the comment that she was happy with her family and she was sorry that we weren't and felt we had to adopt. It took me a long time to work through those feelings but we got close over the year until difficult child's problems began interferring with that. My sister just didn't understand and was not supportive at all.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child was in residential treatment for 60 days she never asked about her, never called to see how we were doing, never asked if she could come with us to family day. When difficult child got out of rehab a month before Christmas and I asked her and my Dad not to have alcohol at his apartemtn for our annual Christmas Eve get together, that caused hard feelings. She wanted to know why they had to do that when she didn't think difficult child was taking it seriously. Of course how would she know because she was not in contact with us. So she brought alcohol to dad's apartment and she and her kids went into the kitchen to enjoy their wine. I was hurt beyond belief.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry to tell you that over the next few months things deteriorated and we have not had any contact for three years now. Both of her kids got married and had children and we were not invited to anything. I had sent her a letter telling her that I hope if anyone in her family ever had a substance abuse problem that she would get support and that she would someday understand how her lack of support hurt me.</p><p></p><p>I hope things never get that bad between you and your sister. My family has always been dysfunctional, people like to start fires and sit back and watch them burn. I love my 94 year old dad very much but he and my mom who has been deceased for years now, never did anything to keep the family together and seemed to promote a sense of jealousy among their kids.</p><p></p><p>I think some people just can't see outside of themselves and have no idea how to support us and think our difficult children are just being bad and they would handle it differently if it were them. All I ever wanted was for my family to listen to me and not do anything to make our journey more difficult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 623785, member: 59"] Stress are you sure your sister and mine are not related? We use to be close, very close. We adopted our daugter at birth. My sister never understood that and even made the comment that she was happy with her family and she was sorry that we weren't and felt we had to adopt. It took me a long time to work through those feelings but we got close over the year until difficult child's problems began interferring with that. My sister just didn't understand and was not supportive at all. When difficult child was in residential treatment for 60 days she never asked about her, never called to see how we were doing, never asked if she could come with us to family day. When difficult child got out of rehab a month before Christmas and I asked her and my Dad not to have alcohol at his apartemtn for our annual Christmas Eve get together, that caused hard feelings. She wanted to know why they had to do that when she didn't think difficult child was taking it seriously. Of course how would she know because she was not in contact with us. So she brought alcohol to dad's apartment and she and her kids went into the kitchen to enjoy their wine. I was hurt beyond belief. I am sorry to tell you that over the next few months things deteriorated and we have not had any contact for three years now. Both of her kids got married and had children and we were not invited to anything. I had sent her a letter telling her that I hope if anyone in her family ever had a substance abuse problem that she would get support and that she would someday understand how her lack of support hurt me. I hope things never get that bad between you and your sister. My family has always been dysfunctional, people like to start fires and sit back and watch them burn. I love my 94 year old dad very much but he and my mom who has been deceased for years now, never did anything to keep the family together and seemed to promote a sense of jealousy among their kids. I think some people just can't see outside of themselves and have no idea how to support us and think our difficult children are just being bad and they would handle it differently if it were them. All I ever wanted was for my family to listen to me and not do anything to make our journey more difficult. [/QUOTE]
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