Corsage or Wristlet?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Well, I guess I HAVE to go to flaky bro's wedding in May now. My future sister in law emailed me to say her mom wants to know what to order for me and my mom to wear at the wedding. Would it be tacky to not show up if they've ordered me flowers?

    Yeah, I thought so.

    Crud. I have no idea. I'm leaning towards something for my wrist, because I certainly don't need any more attention drawn to my chest! :laugh:

    I guess I'd better start looking in earnest for something to wear. AND a SITTER since it's a NO KIDS reception. Though they still haven't said what's up with the ceremony... I could maybe just sneak everybody in for that part, and then LEAVE.

    To wear, to wear, what to wear? Future sister in law sent me color swatches (ribbons) of the bridesmaids/mother of bride dresses so I can find something to match (if I want)? I guess since her folks are helping to pay for the wedding they can pick what they're wearing first (versus my mom telling everyone "here, this is what I'm wearing")... I don't know what time the ceremony is, but I do know the reception is at 6pm... and it's an outdoor reception down at the beach, so the temp. will be on the cool side. I guess I could always fall back on black if I have to... Bro is wearing a black suit (no tux). I'm thinking of hitting some thrift stores to see if I get lucky and find something suitable AND affordable. I just really do not want to spend a ton of money for this.

    My mom and I are just a wee bit jaded about this whole situation -- probably because this is the 5th serious girlfriend he's had that we've met. He dates these nice women for 4 or 5+ years, getting them enmeshed in our families by bringing them around for holidays, birthdays, etc., and then they split up (we think they start talking wedding bells and he gets cold feet). After the last breakup, my mom told him to not bother bringing anyone around unless there was a ring on her finger or it was at least imminent. She was tired of getting attached to these girlfriends of his. Can't say I blame her.

    What feels so weird to me, though, is that he's marrying a person who's a total stranger to me. I hardly know anything about her. Maybe that's why it's hard for me to get excited about this.
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I don't know what the real etiquette is on flowers, as I've generally made judgement on the style of the dress.

    Wrist would be safe either way, tho, and if could always be pinned on your dress if you end up with one that looks better that way.
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Get BOTH - you're worth it............

    If that fails - ask for a halo of flowers.....:tongue:
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    :rofl: I think I WILL ask for both, just to see if she blinks!

    Or I could be a PITA like MY mother in law who claims she's allergic to ALL flowers so could I please make her a silk flower corsage. Ummm, yeah, sure.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    LOL! Yeah, go for both, and something in your hair, too!

    Gosh, maybe this marriage will work. Maybe she's got a bit of detachment going for her.
    But to date someone for up to 5 yrs and break it off ... that's a pretty long time. What a shame. I hope it all works out.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    The problem my mom and I have is that he's dated five different people for at least four or five years since he was in highschool! Maybe turning 40 this year got him thinking that he'd better get on with building a life with someone before it's too late...

    I hope it works out, too. She sounds like someone who likes to take care of people, and I think he's enjoying that. I think he NEEDS that. Plus she's 8 years younger than him, so I think that's appealing for him as well.

    Gosh, to think I could have babysat for her when I was a teenager! It's all very weird to me.
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Okay, I did it!

    I asked for one of each. And a hair wreath. Orange flowers, please.


    Then I politely retracted and confirmed that I was joking.

    I think she screwed up her registry. She's signed up for 20 place settings by various means (45 piece starter set which includes eight 5-piece settings; 12 separate 5-piece settings; plus triplicates of creamer/sugar/platters/vegetable bowls that I can only think are a mistake because of the way they are listed). I was going to ask her about it, but I think I'll just keep quiet until I see her in person. Most likely at the shower.
  8. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Are you going to be IN the wedding or just go as a guest? I've never heard of getting corsages for guests! But if you can wangle one out of them, go for it! ;) I've never heard of telling wedding guests what they should wear or what colors to wear either, other than letting them know how dressy it will be so they can dress appropriately ... strange!

    And what on earth would anyone do with THREE creamers and THREE sugar bowls! Surely, that's a mistake.
  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    As far as I know, I am not "in" the wedding -- at least I haven't been asked to do anything other than just show up. I am not a bridesmaid nor a matron of honor. The way I always understood it, if you aren't one of those things, or a mother/grandmother of the bride/groom, you aren't part of the wedding "party."

    Yeah, I know, everything they are doing is weird to me.
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    She actually sounds like she's reaching out to you, really making an effort. Give her some slack - she's not your bro, she could be a point of sanity in his life which could be of great value to you, especially considering how your bro has been toward you.

    Use her as a potential ally. Cultivate her, be nice to her. It will make it a lot harder for your bro to do horrible things like challenge for custody, if his wife knows it's all a load of steaming hot...

    As for customs and weddings, I'm beginning to feel like an expert, with three kids getting married within a year.

    I forgot about flowers for difficult child 1's wedding, but bride's mother (now THERE'S an unstable personality!) thankfully remembered. Not that I would have cared. They ordered me a corsage, as well as a corsage for mother in law (groom's grandmother). mother in law didn't want to wear hers so she put it on her handbag where it looked very nice. I wore mine but it didn't really match my dress, and kept getting crushed with all the hugging. Bride's mother wore a wrist corsage which I thought looked lovely. With hindsight, I prefer wrist flowers.

    So to re-cap - you can wear a corsage on your chest (in which case, like me, people see the flowers well before they see you) or you can wear them on your wrist (pack a home-made elastic band that fits on your wrist so if you change your mind or someone gets it wrong, you can pin achest corsage to a home-made wrist band) or you can pin it to your handbag (usually hanging down from the clasp). Or it should be OK to fasten them into your hair somehow. If you plan ahead, you may be able to switch around through the day, so you can have it all!

    So groom's sister and mother are being offered corsages - to extend it to sister is possibly a little unusual, but then in our family, sisters have been in the bridal party so it didn't really come up. It certainly sounds appropriate.

    Be kind to her. You'll probably need her in your corner one day, let her find out for herself just how nice you are, and how sane and sensible you are.

    She's the bride. It's her big day. Maybe she'll be good to your bro and turn him into a human being. She has her work cut out for her. Whichever way it goes form here - let her have a day to really enjoy, help make her wedding day a happy one. If your bro is the ******* you describe, it could be her last happy day for a while. Let's hope not.

  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Thank you for the wise words, Marg and the reality check :) You are absolutely right. It's not her fault he's a boob. :p I'm just feeling awkward because I hardly know this person -- and I hardly know my brother anymore, for that matter. Maybe I'm listening to my mother too much! She's had her feelings hurt by him as well (he forgot BOTH our birthdays this year -- I mean, COME ON! He's only got ONE mother and ONE sister and ONE father. How HARD is it to pick up the phone and call?)

    I'll be sweet and kind as can be at the shower and the wedding. I'd never do anything to sabotage their moment in the spotlight. That's just not me. I guess I'm just trying to get my grousing out of the way now so that when she's officially part of the family tree I have it out of my system. I guess I'll have plenty of time to get to know her (and him) after the wedding!
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Grouse away. At him. And at her, after she gives you cause.

    For now, pity her for what she's getting herself into.

    Soon you and she are likely to have a lot in common.

  13. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Are you looking forward to the day AFTER the "Happy Day", I am (with my ds's wedding). That will work out well for me because I have my youngest's birthday party that day. Vent away, something has to help you release the emotions so you can be that lovely, charming, special lady you are whose head hasn't exploded.
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yes, I don't suppose I'll help the family pictures much if my head's missing! :winks:
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911

    OOOOOhhhh OOOOOOOOhhhhhhh i got one -

    (raises hand)

    What are you going to do if you get to the wedding and EVERYONE else has kids there?

    Hadn't thought about THAT had you?

    Girl Scout motto - be prepared.