costs of a military boarding school

[lucymorris]

I have a troubled son. We've been thinking that we're sending him to a military boarding school. We've gone to a counselor and my son didn't changed a bit. It's like he was there during the therapy but was not there. It's really stressful for all of us. They say military boarding schools are very expensive. And yes, according to Military schools for boys site it could reach up to $40,000 a year. Is this really true?

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there and welcome.

in my opinion a military school won't help. He will probably get kicked out, depending on what is going on. He needs to be evaluated and to get help. Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist? Can you describe what is going on with him to us? Any psyschiatric problems on either side of the family tree? How does he relate to his peers? Is he a teen and doing drugs? If so, you may want to look into an Residential Treatment Facility that helps substance abuse. We can give suggestions, but we need more info.

How old is your child?

 

[klmno]

I've considered this for my son and that's what I saw online, too. There was a thread a week or two ago about how to get help with costs. I didn't opursue it right away because my son isn't on board with it yet. If you do a search, you should be able to find the thread. It had some good ideas in it. But, if you are looking for a therapuetic environment or strenuous interventions, you might want to check into a therapuetic boarding school or Residential Treatment Center (RTC) instead. Of course, they aren't "cheap" either.

 

[WSM]

Yes, we looked into it too. Plus uniform and other fees--it averages out to about $45,000 a year. I have no idea how people afford them.

Does anyone else?

 

[aeroeng]

We also looked into it. Not only are the costs between $40 and $50,000, but military boarding schools are now academic schools with a strong disciple approach. (Although some do allow you to apply for assistance). Even if we could pay the money, he would never be accepted (need letters of recommendation and such) and would be kicked out within a week. You also need to apply last March to get in next September.

On an earlier posting people put websites for education consultants. They specialties in finding the best placement for you. I have not used any, but saved the websites away incase I need them later.

 

[graceupongrace]

Lucy,

Sadly, I checked into this and it is true about the costs. I also spoke a few times with an education consultant. She was very good, but also very expensive. She would have charged hundreds of dollars (maybe even $1,000; I don't remember the exact figure) to do a full evaluation that would result in recommendations for costly programs. I didn't take it any further. It can be a good route to go, but be prepared to open your wallet!

The ineffectiveness of the therapy may be due to the therapist. Or to your son's unwillingness to work for positive change. Or he may have issues that medication would help. Or some combination of the above.

How old is your son? What kind of evaluations has he had?

I'm pretty new here, but have found this a warm, understanding and helpful place. There are plenty of parents who are dealing with the same issues you are, and they will offer you help and hugs. And they will not blame you or your parenting abilities. Welcome.

 

[susiestar]

I assume you have tried sticker charts (behavior modification), strong discipline, yelling, lectures, etc.... at home with little positive result.

Why would a military school which will provide behavior mod, strong discipline, yelling, lectures and sometimes prison-like punishments (not in all schools, I am sure) work?

If they didn't work, they are not going to work. No matter to what degree tehy are done or who does them. Common sense, in my opinion.

What problems does your son have? HAs he ever had any testing done? Seen a psychiatrist? Been tested by a neuropsychologist? Tried other therapists?

The kind of help or school that will work for him depends on what is going on and WHY it is going on. It just is RARE, truly RARE that military school works for kids with real problems. Depending on what is going on, they can often be abusive.

 

[Lucedaleblessed]

They are all in that price level: Military schools, Wilderness programs, therapeutic Boarding Schools, private boot camps.

Oversea programs are sometime cheaper but no laws regulate them and a Mexico, Costa Rica, the Czech republic and Samoa has closed a number of them because they didn't live up the standard they demanded in these countries. I have been looking at a program in Rosarito, Mexico but really sending a child down to an area where bodies are everywhere in a drug war combined with swine flu. Not even I am so desperate and now the school has even changed name due to a conflict in the management.

If he is old enough and he wants to leave home you could try the National Guard Youth Challenge Program. It is free and he can get a GED. If he isn't willing to go you can try to challenge him and state that he isn't tough enough to do it. Maybe he will fall for it.

The first 14 days in the NGYCP program is hell and some return ready to kiss the feet of their parents just to live home again. If your son is among them, it is a very good point to start making a bargain from. It is necessary to test that hard because the staff want to know what they can work with. After 26 additional weeks the teenagers return home where they are matched with a local coach for the next year. My brother works with one of these coaches so that is where I got my information from.

 

[therese005us]

Hey, I'll take him for less than that! Maybe a stint int he wilderness of Oz would help?
EF programs are exchange programs across the world for 6-12 months. But perhaps that would not suit your child?
I hope you find a solution. What about an ordinary boarding school?

 

[judi]

The big thing is the "buy in" from these kids. We too have sent our son to multiple RTCs, the National Guard Challenge program, several schools, etc., all to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars. Did it help? Nope not one bit. Without buy in from the child, there will not be success.

 

[Jeppy]

I had thought of a military school, but then I read that these types of programs are designed for a basically stable and well behaved child who is not motivated and needs a little kick in the pants to get moving.

If you are dealing with more serious issues than laziness, this is probably not a good choice for your child.