Overall I'm doing pretty well I'd say in coping with this latest move forward in attempting to have my bio father finally brought to justice for his decades of crimes. Today is just one of those days where it hits hard for some reason and again, as I posted a couple weeks back, I'm noticing the glaring isolation I am living now that I've completed a formal taped interview by police. Woke up this morning to see that my baby sisters mother has added him on a social network. Not a word from police, the file was to be passed from the kind man who interviewed me to a different cities police. I was to have heard last week from that department but have heard nothing. Not gotten a single response to sending out copies of his confession to all of those he abused. My sister remains unable (and I believe due to lies from her mother, unwilling) to use FB to talk to me. She hasn't moved me off MSN yet but when I saw her there and messaged her, she logged off. My aunt here in town (bio dads sister) added him on FB. She says it was all down to him drinking and doing things out of character. (Mind you he'd been sober over 10 years when he perpetrated crimes against me and my former step sister) My former step sister and her mother, my fathers ex wife, haven't responded to me. My sisters eldest half sister, the most recent known victim, hasn't responded. Nobody seems willing to do a dang thing. I did hear initially from my one aunt I've grown close (somewhat) to, but that was before the interview with police and not a peep since although she's been active online so she's not off to her cottage or anything. So it seems that nothing will be done. No prosecutor is going to charge on one case, 23 years old, without other victims filing charges at the same time. So this man, no, this monster, CONFESSES to all of his sexual abuses in writing no less, and seems he will walk?!?! To offend again. To harm again. To destroy more lives and spirits. I promise I won't let this drag me into a dark place mentally/emotionally. Yet I am only human and short of any kind of super human/woman powers. Thus, today is a bad day. It hits from time to time in waves of pain and anger and frustration that he can CONFESS and continue to walk the streets. Continue to have people like my sisters mother protecting him. Not because she wants HIM protected, she is protecting herself. Selfishly, all because she cannot bring herself to admit she sold her own daughter out by standing for him in the beginning and spreading horrible lies that her daughter was setting my bio father up, had seduced him, had tricked him, etc. It's so so so so sick. This man is a chronic recidivist. This will only change if he is removed from society and incarcerated. It just feels so heavy on my shoulders, this entire ordeal. For it to be for nothing? Losing my sister. For nothing. The pain of sharing my story and having to be video taped and grilled? For nothing. For going through that alone and overwhelmed? For nothing. To protect others? For nothing. All of it was for nothing. I don't understand people. How on earth can all of these people do NOTHING? They've ALL read his confession. They know he is guaranteed conviction if/when charges are filed so long as everyone comes forward. Yet they CHOOSE nothing. I spent such a long time being understanding and compassionate about the state of emotions of especially the older victims, the elder women in my family. When I say elder, I mean because they are MY elders, my aunts. But in reality, the youngest is only 54 and oldest just over 60. These are not flailing "elderly" in a typical sense. They are in many ways in the prime of their lives. I no longer understand, I no longer can bring myself to find compassion. I can't excuse their silence at this point. I actually feel if he victimizes again, they are more to blame than this monster I share DNA with even is. They CAN stop this. They CHOOSE not to. I'm changing my number this week to a new unlisted number. I'm over the entire scheming, back stabbing, lying lot of them. I know I need to do this for me, it is healthy long term to cut the ties. It serves no good purpose to let this anger and disappointment control my life. I know I can that. Today isn't the day. But I'm on the path and I"m okay with that. i wouldn't be human if it didn't take time to purge the wretched feelings this is creating. It won't consume me. But for this moment? It hurts. And it hurts badly. And I'm angry and disgusted and jaded and disillusioned by people in general. Could just use a cyber hug if anyone managed to read through that Wendy Whiner Whine.