I have one of those parenting questions that kept me up last night thinking of which way to go. My 16 year old granddaughter has been taking French and doing poorly so we got her a tutor in a prestigious local highly rated private school. Her tutor and also the director/owner of the school suggested that because she was having so much trouble in French and had taken Spanish 1 as a Freshman, that she take Spanish 2 through their school for the summer. It was quite expensive but we were considering it. I spoke to the tutor and said I wanted her to pass French first and we would think about Spanish later. The tutor told my granddaughter that the summer class would involve 20 hours a week of study for the student. I talked to the tutor about this and didn't think those extra hours would work out for my granddaughter, just too much studying for the summer. After a few weeks I called the tutor to talk about it and she had talked to my granddaughter already and they had assumed that what would work out best was for her to take the first semester in the summer and the second semester from August to Dec. The cost went up considerably. Considering that the Public school offers Spanish 2 for free I was in a quandary as to what to do. She does very well in this one on one environment and I think she would benefit from this class. One of the things that I didn't like is that the tutor talked to my granddaughter first about all of this without consulting me. Seems like a good marketing tool to talk to the kid first, get them on board and then the parent is put in the creepy place of disappointing the child. Okay, so I waited for awhile thinking about it. In the meantime my granddaughter made out her Junior schedule with electives that she really wants to take. I didn't know that. Her schedule for next year has already been completed. After talking to my SO about it and considering the money and the now 13 hours a week of homework that she will have to study for the 6 week summer first semester, we were leaning towards not doing it. But now that she has her schedule, her heart set on taking it, I am now in that place I really dislike, having to make a hard decision for someone else and disappointing them to boot. She needs to take Spanish 2 to meet the requirements for college. And, yet the class is offered for free at the HS. In addition, she just got her drivers license and although she can drive my car when it's available, we have been talking about getting her her own car. She has been, as many teens are, really looking forward to driving and especially having her own car. We are planning on making her own car contingent on her maintaining a B average for the first semester next year. We talked to her about that yesterday and that was also a disappointment for her since she believed she would get her own car before that (we had been talking about it for awhile but we had not been clear with her what that entailed because we just worked it all out recently) So, yesterday we told her all of that and she was crying and upset. I can't blame her for being disappointed, I get that. She lost the Spanish 2 class and the car she was anticipating having sooner. I could pay for the Spanish class, I think it's a lot of money, it would be a bit of a stretch but geez, it's her future. Maybe we should have waited and not hit her with 2 disappointments at once. I was up most of last night trying to come up with a viable solution but nothing emerged. I have some resentment towards the private school for not speaking directly to me about all of this before it was presented to my granddaughter and also because I was told we could make financial arrangements and pay for the class before it's complete. When I inquired about that, I was told that they charge a flat $100 for the financial arrangement or as the tutor said, "you can just put it on a card." I thought the financial arrangement was offered for free, after all we would be paying it in full before the class is complete which is just a couple of months. That also left a bad taste in my mouth. I often get peeved when I believe marketing your product or service slips into what I may consider bad form, so I'm taking that into consideration. Also realizing, in spite of my judgments about the marketing, it's a great opportunity for kids to have this option if they can afford it. Okay, after all of that, my granddaughter and I talked this morning, after the disappointment subsided a little, and we came up with a compromise to ask her guidance counselor if she could drop one of her electives and put Spanish 2 in her schedule next year. The major part of that is a request for a certain teacher. One of the reasons my granddaughter believes she did so poorly in French was that the teacher was not a good language teacher. (Incidentally, she does very well in all her other classes) Having checked around, I found this to be true. I've never requested a teacher before so I am not sure if that is a request a school will honor. Does anyone know the answer to that? I wrote an email to the counselor and explained in great detail, what we wanted and why without making any comments at all about the present teacher. Is there a way anyone may know of which can facilitate the request for a particular teacher? Or if anyone has any insights or ideas about the teacher request, private school or car or anything, I'm all ears. Sometimes this parenting thing can feel so challenging. I want to give her the best possible support for her future, without coddling her and creating an entitled kid. I realize that sometimes she will be disappointed, but she has had so many disappointments and I realize I can't make up for that, nor is that my responsibility, but I can't help but feel for her. Especially considering all that she's gone through with her parents. She is a good kid. Am I missing anything I should be seeing? I would appreciate anything you feel willing to offer. As always, thanks for your support.