Things are coming crashing down here. Something bad happened to difficult child few years ago and it came up few days ago. He was hurt in the most humiliating, demeaning and degrading way by people he had been taught to trust and be loyal to. Details are simply sickening and it would be very unwise to tell more in public board, because in worst case this may become public. Unfortunately rumour mill can not be stopped and too many people know at least a part of what happened, so everyone difficult child does know will know about this shortly or do already know. We are desperately hoping people he doesn't know wouldn't find out, but to be frank our hopes are not high. We can only hope that it would happen later rather than sooner. Me and husband met our lawyer this morning to ask advice and recommendation of a lawyer specialised to this type of things. This is not her area but what she did tell us was most disheartening. It seems that only one in this mess, who has absolutely no rights is difficult child. And it just doesn't seem plausible that there would be anyway this would turn so that difficult child would not be re-victimized. I guess I got some answers to those whys that have haunted me; why difficult child deteriorated so quickly and badly, when things were going so well for him, why he developed PTSD, why he completed addiction cycle that usually takes a decade to go through in less than ten months. That is not much of the console. difficult child is absolutely devastated. I have never seen him like this. Of course this was no news to him, but everyone knowing and having to deal with that is too much for him. We visited him a day they called and told what was happening and he was total mess. The worst is that there didn't seem to be any fight left in him. Till now I have always taken some comfort from the fact that he is one of the most resilient people I know and he always seems to find a way to live and fight till the next day. Now there doesn't seem to be any of that left. I haven't now seen him in couple of days and he isn't talking at the phone. They do say he hasn't talked much in person either. And that he acts totally beaten and is too ashamed to even look at anyone. I'm heading to his town tomorrow to discuss what next and plan how we will proceed and to be with him over weekend. I think I will not be liking that plan at all. Unfortunately there is not much fight left in me either. I know I should be absolutely enraged, I know I should be brave for my son, I know this is worst possible time for me to crumble, but I can't feel but sick, demoralised and disheartened.