Could Your Teen Be In a Violent Relationship?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Aug 20, 2008.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I read the most interesting article last night about teens and preteens in violent relationships.

    Did you know that according to some statistics, almost 50% of teens and preteens have been in or are in abusive relationships?

    This article caught my eye because of a rash of these situations going on in our town. Teenage and young adult males making the paper for violent behavior ended up with my neighbors son being murdered by his girlfriend (they were arguing via cell phone from their cars, he was parked by the side of the road and she slammed her car into his drivers side door and pinned his SUV between her car and a tree). Her dad is a local cop and they tried to bury the evidence, but were found out.

    A young girl was leaving work early to attend his funeral, her ex-boyfriend picked her up to drop her off there (he was not welcome to attend), and he drove her into New Jersey and murdered and buried her in a shallow grave.

    Here are some of the warning signs that friends and parents need to watch for:

    He/she apologizes for the behavior and makes excuses for him/her

    He/she cancels plans at the last minute for reasons that sound untrue

    He/she seems worried about making him/her mad

    He/she spends less time doing things that they enjoyed

    His/her weight, appearance and/or grades have changed dramatically

    He/she has injuries that they can't explain or the explanations don't make sense

    They change the way they dress

    They retreat from family and friends


    He/she's aldways checking up on her, calling, texting, demanding to know where she's been

    You've seen him lose his temper, maybe even break or hit things when he's made

    He acts extrememly jealous when she talks to other guys

    He puts her down in front of others

    I certainly don't feel qualified to lecture here because my kids are still young, but the statistics made me scared for all of you who have sons and daughters who are approaching or are in their teens.

  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Interesting. Thank you.
    My daughter is always making excuses for her boyfriend but I think it's more of an enabling thing. We are hoping she gets fed up with-it soon. He's clearly hypoglycemic (a jerk when they first get together, and then happy and calm after they eat) and very immature. He also hates their HS and makes it worse by either avoiding everyone or being mean to them so they avoid him, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. He's way overscheduled (mission trips and soccer trips to foreign countries, special SAT tutoring, plus, commutes 1-1/2 hrs to school) and it strains everyone's nerves. (Why do parents do that?)
    easy child daughter is too young to have this burden.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Yep, this is difficult child and Monkeyboy to a T.

    I have printed similar articles and left them for her to read as well as "The Loser" essay - very long, but great. In fact, The Loser article has many things related to the Abuser/Violent relationship.

    Thanks for spreading this info - every parent should read it.