Couldn't believe my ears!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lovelyboy, May 11, 2012.

  1. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    We had a mother-child evening at school this afternoon.....So I was mingling with some old friends.....
    I started catching up with the one mom regarding her grade 3 son, that I know for the last 4 years....knowing he has possible ADD or ADHD, from what she told me before......
    She told me that this boy is struggling so much in school that she was even thinking of just taking him out of school(joking).....last week because it is no good any way.....She said he just struggles so much with reading, it seems like a waste of time! I asked her what the problem seems to be, did she ever took him for a speech assessment, exct. She then told me he gets Occupational Therapist (OT), ST, reading "therapy"....all of that at the moment! So I prompted further, asking her what the therapists says is the reason why he struggles so much......?
    She says, she doesnt know, she never talks or interacts with the therapists, she is to busy at work, she is a accountant....She just ships him of to the next therapist.....cant remember anything regarding his assessment reports, doesnt even exactly know their names.....Just pays the money and leave it up to them!!!!! i asked her about the ADD....she says the psychologist didnt think its needed to assess for that! I saw her son for months at karate and told her I am sure he might has ADHD......?
    How can a parent be so ignorant!!!!????? Doesnt she realize what she is doing to this child!? I dont understand how a mom can be so uninvolved in her sons live and wellness!?
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    Her life is more important than his. YUP a difficult child in easy child clothing. Imagine that!
  3. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    Dyslexia is when kids with normal or above normal IQ struggle with learning to read in a traditional environment. Dyslexic kids have a much higher occurrence of ADD. The International Dyslexic Association (1-800-abcd123, or has some wonderful information and support. The school systems do a terrible job mediating it and the sooner training is begun the better the results. Occupational Therapist (OT) and ST therapy won't help and the reading therapy will only help if it is based on a structured phonics based program. None of this will do any good if the parent is not involved. I share your frustration.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Believe it or not, there are an awful lot of parents out there that are some variation of this. More than we want to believe. But... it's part of why school systems have given up on trying to work with parents... between the total-difficult child parents, the absent parents, the money-solves-anything parents... there aren't very many Warrior Parents out there. So school gets to thinking it "can" solve all the problems... and it can't.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, how sad. How very sad.
  6. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    And what even makes this situation worse.....I have observed this child in karate over the years.....I saw how he often get into trouble because of hyperactive inattentive behaviour.....He is a lovely very small for his age little boy.
    There was a time where I was really worried about him....he became more and more withdrawn and his eyes were so very sad!!!!! He is in such great need of love and support....and you know, he actually have really very sweat and loving parents! It frustrates me so to just stand back and let this happen......But I dont think there is much else I can do.....:(.......I did tell her last night that I think he needs to be assessed by a good psychiatrist, and I can put her in contact with one.....But oh.....the time......she just doesnt have time! OMW! My husband cancels exco meetings, drives more than 100 km and put in leave to attend his sons meetings!
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If you don't have "time", then why on earth did you have kids in the first place? Even easy child kids need TIME.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I work at a preschool. This is more common than you think. Also, he sounds worse than ADHD to me, but he'll probably have to string along with only his therapists to help him since his mom doesn't seem engaged. It's sad. We hate to see it at our school.
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I know parents of easy child kids who are like that. It must be very hard to be a difficult child kid with needs that are so clearly not being met.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Of course she could make the time. I wonder if she is emotionally just not able to admit there is a serious problem. Huge denial??? Or if she was ever told he was just immature or delayed? Sometimes I think the term developmental delay is mean....yes there are kids who really do have issues where they catch up, but some parents think that then the therapists can just fix them and it will all be normal. I know a girl who clearly had severe CP and was likely going to be very low verbal if she could coordinate for speech at all, and still her docs would not diagnose until she was about 3 finally they did. Those poor parents thought forever they had a "floppy baby" who was developmentally "delayed" and would catch up by K. It was heartbreaking.

    This lady sounds like she doesn't want to know if there is a real problem. Sadly it will make things so much worse to not be working on it at home.

    Our kids need advocacy more than anything for a huge part of their lives and we are the ones who do it. As they get older people just treat them like naughty kids and someone is mad at them on a daily basis. How can that NOT affect their emotional development, their personality development etc.??? Poor boy.