Couldn't believe my eyes...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by lovemysons, May 6, 2011.

  1. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oldest difficult child just came by our house alittle while ago and brought me the most beautiful long stemmed roses. I nearly cried I was so touched. I hugged and kissed him and told him "I am really liking the changes I am seeing in you.".

    Just 4 months ago oldest difficult child tried to run me off the road in a drunken rage...he has been sober ever since that day,Hm...or at least " dry". I do know he has been to some AA meetings since that time so maybe he is starting to apply the can only hope.

    When difficult child was 18 he was locked up and headed for prison. I cried all the time and had panic attacks over his situation. After he was released he got together with a gal he met at rehab yrs earlier. They married but were separated after only 3 months. He then met the mother of his child and has been with her ever since. I do know that he adores his daughter. And it would appear that his much older girlfriend is a positive influence on him.

    Yes oldest difficult child is still an addict/alcoholic (thank G-d it's not Meth anymore) but today I see some light ya know a glimmer of hope.

  2. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    What a great way to start off Mother's Day weekend Tammy !!!! :mothers_day:
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the reply Shelly...and the beautiful bouquet of flowers! You're a sweetheart.
    Hugs, Oh and Happy Mother's Day to you.
  4. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Im happy for you-it must feel great! We have to revel in these moments!
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    wow thats soo sweet and yes def a glimmer of hope and a great prelude to mothers day
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy Mothers Day LMS. What a nice gesture. He does seem to be coming around. Now if only the other one would have a knock upside the
  7. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Exhausted Jena and Janet, Thank you for the replys...hope you all had a pleasant Mothers Day.

    Janet so true about young difficult child...I think I'll give a couple more yrs to get his act together. What is it they say... The brain is fully developed by age 25 lol.

  8. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Tammy - Thanks for giving me hope know I think us parents have to have a lot of patience and sometimes just wait until our adult difficult children grow up.
  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    So true toughlovin,
    husband used to say "it's only half time theyre not finished yet be patient"
    Well... I think we're into the "4th quarter" and I'm ready for this "game" to end! Lol

    One day at a time,
  10. Mrs.McNear51

    Mrs.McNear51 Member


    Maybe that means you'll get into Heaven after all. LOL!

    Love ya,

  11. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh you are the funny woman Julie!!!

    Yep oldest is now ultra conservative religious judgmental and youngest says he believes in "cosmic evolution" lol both of them are out in the weeds if you ask me...extremes ya know. But I can identify with oldest as I used to be ultra conservative religious judgemental that is before I ended up with 2 addicts and a gay daughter lol.
    I used to be soooo very opinionated and riteous in my belief systems...called in on conservative radio shows and regularly wrote letters to the editor in our local paper. How I have changed...greatfully as I was a fairly lonely and depressed perfectionist back then... No balance in my life.

    I suppose oldest difficult children new found belief system doesn't bother me nearly as much as young difficult children. At least there is a justice system accountability of sorts in oldests.

    Now the jury's still out on rather or not I'm going to heaven lol spent last night chain smokin at the Casino!!!

    Love ya,
  12. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    "Well, I heard Jesus he drank wine, I bet we'd get along just fine. He could calm the storms and heal the blind and I'd bet he'd understand a heart like mine." Miranda Lambert
  13. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thank you Everywoman...I have no doubt about where I stand with G-d yesterday today and always. I believe He sees me and loves me just as I am.

    Recently oldest difficult child had a conversation with husband. He told husband that he believes the only one in our family that is going to Heaven is husband. He also told me not long ago that I am Never to bring up my psychotic breakdown or mental illness around his daughter (my grand daughter).
    Oldest difficult child does not want his daughter exposed to my easy child either...because she is gay.

    Oldest now has "judgement" down pat...but not Grace. G-d forbid he ends ip with a daughter who struggles with addiction or mental illness as his beliefs/ideas will surely be put to the test... Just as mine were. And I found a new and richer form of what I call Love. So I know all things are possible.

    But ya lol my mental illness and the fact that I like to smoke and go to the casino are in oldests difficult children view/belief enough to keep me out of Heaven.

    These kids do keep me guessing!
  14. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    LMS, when I hear that sort of personal judgement spewing out of peoples mouths, I realize that they are convincing themselves and that I will happily stand before my maker next to someone like that. I have a funny feeling that I would be less worried then them. Live your faith and don't worry about the "preachers". Every man has to answer for themselves so his concerns about your acceptability in the Heaven Club are really just his way of putting you down.

    His need to keep all "deviants" away from his child is just stupid youth talking. We all know that children grow into their imperfections regardless of who their parents are. I'm not perfect and neither are our children. Unless he puts his daughter on a deserted island (which causes a whole different set of abnormal behavior) she will be exposed to humans. Humans are not perfect and we are not all alike. TG!

    Teaching our children acceptance, love and tolerance is better parenting than keeping them away from anyone who isn't just like dad. Besides, how is he going to explain his own sordid, destructive, abusive, addicted behavior? I think it's funny he thinks husband will go to heaven and not you. Does he not remember anything of his youth?
    Hugs. Live a life of goodness and let God figure out where you belong and not difficult child. What a control/manipulator!!!
  15. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Thank you Fran...could not have worded it any better!

  16. Rainbird

    Rainbird New Member

    Congrats to you, that must have felt wonderful
  17. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Tammy, what a lovely thing to do, to bring you roses! A wonderful moment to treasure!

    As for the rest -- I couldn't agree with Fran more.

    Hugs to you, Tammy.

    Love, Esther