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Parent Emeritus
Couldn't stay detached, messed up; now I'll pay for it in more ways than one
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 701371" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Don't trust her. Hard because we want to. Cut out the money. If she can cycle all over Asia, she is healthy enough to work. The endless vacation should be on her dime or terminate.</p><p></p><p>Suggestions: hard as it is stay off her Social media. Many of our not nice kids use it to bully and manipulate u.s. Stop.</p><p></p><p>Don't try to talk to her, making normal bargains. It will never happen. She will use you and castigate you if you ask for money back. One word responses are best and long silences in between contact. Example is she says "I need money and I promise to pay you back" a great answer is, No. No is a complete sentence. Explanations are useless and fodder for them to guilt us. One word. No</p><p>If she argues say the doorbell rang, you'll talk when she is calmer and accepts your answer. Gently hang up.</p><p></p><p>I have to use this with my son. It works if you refuse to listen to abuse. I sometimes fail but I'm always sorry when I do. He is almost civil when I stand my ground or gently hang up when he starts abusing me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 701371, member: 1550"] Don't trust her. Hard because we want to. Cut out the money. If she can cycle all over Asia, she is healthy enough to work. The endless vacation should be on her dime or terminate. Suggestions: hard as it is stay off her Social media. Many of our not nice kids use it to bully and manipulate u.s. Stop. Don't try to talk to her, making normal bargains. It will never happen. She will use you and castigate you if you ask for money back. One word responses are best and long silences in between contact. Example is she says "I need money and I promise to pay you back" a great answer is, No. No is a complete sentence. Explanations are useless and fodder for them to guilt us. One word. No If she argues say the doorbell rang, you'll talk when she is calmer and accepts your answer. Gently hang up. I have to use this with my son. It works if you refuse to listen to abuse. I sometimes fail but I'm always sorry when I do. He is almost civil when I stand my ground or gently hang up when he starts abusing me. [/QUOTE]
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Couldn't stay detached, messed up; now I'll pay for it in more ways than one
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