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Counseling appointment today
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 639454" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>You know, "liking" a post, sometimes seems like such an understatement. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>I think this is a problem. I don't think we <em>know</em> just yet what the signposts are. He has to get a job. He has to keep a job - difficult to gauge...Jabber says months...I say most likely it'll be seasonal or temp and I'd love to have him be able to come back by the end of the 90 days at the shelter, assuming other changes have been made, so "months" isn't right for that. But we <em>do</em> agree he has to have a steady job and keep it and start saving some money so he can get his own place. I know if he comes back, it will have a time limit for him to save up to get his own place.</p><p> </p><p>I want to know WHY he would steal from us and what he spent it on. If it was drugs...and lets face it, it probably was...then I still want him to face the fact that this is a BAD THING. If he has an actual problem, I want him to face up to it and do something about it! I've told him before, (first time around with stealing when he was blaming it on friends needing money and I didn't believe it wasn't pot or something then) that <u>anything</u> - person or substance - that makes you hurt the people who love you is BAD.</p><p> </p><p>I want him to just generally grow the hell up! Get a job, stop hanging with these stoners, man up and take care of business - and BE SORRY! I want him to be sorry he did this to us. I don't know what that will look like because I don't think I've ever really seen it before. </p><p> </p><p>Obviously, except for the job thing, it's all so ... abstract. It's more ideas and feelings than anything concrete. I really need help figuring out concrete things we need to see him do.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Well, he'll be at the shelter and we'll pick him up there. He will, however, have to work something out with his chores at the shelter. Right now he washes the dinner dishes and dinner is over by 6:00. So if we're going to eat at 1:00, so we can probably have him back by 6:00, but he needs to be sure they're aware he might be late.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>I love this analogy. I think we'll have to tell him just that. I love the idea of just pretending the problem doesn't exist for a day. Unfortunately, my Mother and Father-in-Law have been told all about it and while they are the most loving, Christian people and best in-laws in the world...I can see one of them (probably Grandma) pulling him aside for a "talk". Ugh. It will suck to be him. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite10" alt=":oops:" title="Oops! :oops:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":oops:" /> Maybe Jabber can have a talk with them and ask them not to...but when we caught him stoned at 17 Jabber called his folks for guidance and they came down and, even though we asked them not to, Grandma had to have a talk with him. lol. I love her to death, really, so does my son, but he thinks we don't understand him. You can imagine what he thinks of Grandma. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 639454, member: 17309"] You know, "liking" a post, sometimes seems like such an understatement. :hugs: I think this is a problem. I don't think we [I]know[/I] just yet what the signposts are. He has to get a job. He has to keep a job - difficult to gauge...Jabber says months...I say most likely it'll be seasonal or temp and I'd love to have him be able to come back by the end of the 90 days at the shelter, assuming other changes have been made, so "months" isn't right for that. But we [I]do[/I] agree he has to have a steady job and keep it and start saving some money so he can get his own place. I know if he comes back, it will have a time limit for him to save up to get his own place. I want to know WHY he would steal from us and what he spent it on. If it was drugs...and lets face it, it probably was...then I still want him to face the fact that this is a BAD THING. If he has an actual problem, I want him to face up to it and do something about it! I've told him before, (first time around with stealing when he was blaming it on friends needing money and I didn't believe it wasn't pot or something then) that [U]anything[/U] - person or substance - that makes you hurt the people who love you is BAD. I want him to just generally grow the hell up! Get a job, stop hanging with these stoners, man up and take care of business - and BE SORRY! I want him to be sorry he did this to us. I don't know what that will look like because I don't think I've ever really seen it before. Obviously, except for the job thing, it's all so ... abstract. It's more ideas and feelings than anything concrete. I really need help figuring out concrete things we need to see him do. Well, he'll be at the shelter and we'll pick him up there. He will, however, have to work something out with his chores at the shelter. Right now he washes the dinner dishes and dinner is over by 6:00. So if we're going to eat at 1:00, so we can probably have him back by 6:00, but he needs to be sure they're aware he might be late. I love this analogy. I think we'll have to tell him just that. I love the idea of just pretending the problem doesn't exist for a day. Unfortunately, my Mother and Father-in-Law have been told all about it and while they are the most loving, Christian people and best in-laws in the world...I can see one of them (probably Grandma) pulling him aside for a "talk". Ugh. It will suck to be him. :oops: Maybe Jabber can have a talk with them and ask them not to...but when we caught him stoned at 17 Jabber called his folks for guidance and they came down and, even though we asked them not to, Grandma had to have a talk with him. lol. I love her to death, really, so does my son, but he thinks we don't understand him. You can imagine what he thinks of Grandma. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE]
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