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Substance Abuse
court is this week and I'm scared
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 689323" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Are you sure he is just using pot? I was too, and my daughter, who was 12 when smoking pot but she had moved beyond that at 14, had quite a lively drug kaleidoscope in her drug using days. Most we never suspected. She told us after she quit. During her drug using career, we saw two parolees and three car accidents (two were not our vehicle.. we stopped letting her drive but her not bright friends let her drive their cars. Not smart.) She looked like a scare crow. She cut herself and ditched school.</p><p></p><p>I ask because I am thinking that our drug using kids can't stop easily while still around creepy friends. They are pressured to keep using. My daughter moved to another state, then made a very conscience decision to be lonely, if necessary, but to resist making new druggie friends (because of course all states have rough kids). It worked for daughter though.</p><p></p><p>If I knew then what I know now from being here, I think we would have put our kid into rehab as soon as we knew. That would have taken her away from her lovely friends sooner and treated her problem younger and with medical help. If she refused to go, we would (and did) stop any/all money and toys and only provide the bare necessities. No electronics. No drivers ed...I'd tell her this is not an option if she is on any drugs; that even pot slows your reflexes.</p><p></p><p>This, with a back seat driver look, would probably be what I'd have done if us knew then what I know now. Those friends are the enemy and, as long as he's in school with them or able to interact with them at all, they will make it hard for him to do better unless he is very strong and confident.</p><p></p><p>I would try therapy too. But he has to want it. My daughter lied to her therapist so it didn't help. by the way, your son doesn't hate you. This is about him, not you. Kids with low self esteem are more apt to band together and do bad things, but they are also far more welcoming and inclusive than, say, the preps and other high achieving kids who are less apt to get into trouble. Your son wants acceptance and found it, but there is a price. Teens put their friends before their parents and they mostly all want a crowd of peers. This is how my daughter got into trouble. She was the new kid. Everyone ignored her. She had lunch alone. One day a few kids sat by her and befriended her. She was tickled. Only problem was, to be one of them, you couldn't be too well behaved...</p><p></p><p>I don't trust foster care farther than I can throw it. And I did foster care. I would try to avoid it.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can nip this early. It is easier to quit early on than later.</p><p></p><p>Big hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 689323, member: 1550"] Are you sure he is just using pot? I was too, and my daughter, who was 12 when smoking pot but she had moved beyond that at 14, had quite a lively drug kaleidoscope in her drug using days. Most we never suspected. She told us after she quit. During her drug using career, we saw two parolees and three car accidents (two were not our vehicle.. we stopped letting her drive but her not bright friends let her drive their cars. Not smart.) She looked like a scare crow. She cut herself and ditched school. I ask because I am thinking that our drug using kids can't stop easily while still around creepy friends. They are pressured to keep using. My daughter moved to another state, then made a very conscience decision to be lonely, if necessary, but to resist making new druggie friends (because of course all states have rough kids). It worked for daughter though. If I knew then what I know now from being here, I think we would have put our kid into rehab as soon as we knew. That would have taken her away from her lovely friends sooner and treated her problem younger and with medical help. If she refused to go, we would (and did) stop any/all money and toys and only provide the bare necessities. No electronics. No drivers ed...I'd tell her this is not an option if she is on any drugs; that even pot slows your reflexes. This, with a back seat driver look, would probably be what I'd have done if us knew then what I know now. Those friends are the enemy and, as long as he's in school with them or able to interact with them at all, they will make it hard for him to do better unless he is very strong and confident. I would try therapy too. But he has to want it. My daughter lied to her therapist so it didn't help. by the way, your son doesn't hate you. This is about him, not you. Kids with low self esteem are more apt to band together and do bad things, but they are also far more welcoming and inclusive than, say, the preps and other high achieving kids who are less apt to get into trouble. Your son wants acceptance and found it, but there is a price. Teens put their friends before their parents and they mostly all want a crowd of peers. This is how my daughter got into trouble. She was the new kid. Everyone ignored her. She had lunch alone. One day a few kids sat by her and befriended her. She was tickled. Only problem was, to be one of them, you couldn't be too well behaved... I don't trust foster care farther than I can throw it. And I did foster care. I would try to avoid it. I hope you can nip this early. It is easier to quit early on than later. Big hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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