Court today update

[wg67]

Well. Court is over and done with for today..My difficult child lawyer said because my difficult child had realapse in Dec she lost her housing i so wanted to stand up and say yes because i wouldnt let her use and leave needles for her children to find. Yet my difficult child swore up and down she was clean when i kicked her out. my difficult child told court she starts a treatment program and her SO starts his next week. What shocked me was they got supervised visits with kids 6 Hrs week..I agreed they need to see kids but who the court approved to supervise is a 89 year old frail grandmother whom the stole from many times and can barely get around and look after herself. This was brought up with judge and he just dismissed it as well if she agreed to supervise. The s ecound supervised approved was an aunt of SO ok that seemed better at least. But I wonder what program they are starting..methodone program again? It wasn't specified but I have real concerns as the social worker apparently approved the two supervisors. So prior talking to SW I was asked by her to phone her with update of court and get message she is away till fri and can't even leave a message. Both me and hubby are doing paperwork for visitation and guardianship but here in our city its a long process to even get into courts they are so backed up its not even funny..so yep thats my day

 

[wg67]

But I was proud of myself today. I told her I loved her but didnt like how she has been acting. She looked at me and said she doesnt have a family to which I didnt even reply or cry..maybe its because I cried so much last night and didnt have tears left

 

[LoveSushi]

Good for you wg67. I know that it feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest, but you have to stand firm. You should be proud of yourself. You just can't keep catching her when she falls - she'll never learn to stand on her own and take ownership of her life choices if you do.

Detach! Detach! Detach!

And keep coming here for support! *hugs*

 

[BusynMember]

Sounds like the court has a plan. Again, worrying about it or what program your daughter is in won't help the grands or your daughter. I agree...it is for your own health to learn how to detach from their drama. Until you get to court, this is out of your control and, even then, it is up to the judge. Do you have a lawyer?

Until then, try not to focus on this constantly because that will only make you sick and good for nobody, including a very important person...YOU. And it won't help anyone.

Do you have a therapist? Ever gone to Nar-Anon meetings for facetime help with loving an addict?

You should not be surprised that your daughter lied. Drugs and lying go hand in hand. That's another thing not worth getting all worked up about because you can't stop her drug use or her lying. Try to focus on your own life and your other loved ones who are probably not getting enough of you as you over-focus on this one adult child. It happens too often!

 

[Nancy]

The court system can be so frustrating. Do you have an attorney to help you through the process?

 

[wg67]

Yes we have a lawyer but she even told us its gonna be a process if any of the guardian which there is 4 difficult child, SO, and IL. and the cost could be upwards of 30,000 I hope it isn't that high. Im trying to detach some days are better than others. Its a very difficult process but I hear so much support here it keeps me stronger thank you all

 

[DDD]

If the chilren are in foster care perhaps your attorney could file a request for "temporary custody with POA" so they would be with family and in a stable environment. It saves the State money and gives the kids a sense of family. Hugs DDD