Court tomorrow, my HOT lawyer!!!! and how to behave in court

[BusynMember]

OMG! My lawyer is soooooooooooo hot!!! He has to be in his thirties, really tall and athletically thin with dark blond hair, stylish, and huge, huge blue eyes. I could hardly pay attention to what advice he was giving me because he was so hot. I never thought of myself as a cougar before, but...and BAD ME...hub was seated right beside me...lol. Anyhooooooooooooo...

He told me not to say anything unless he asks me something or the lawyer who is being the judge asks me something and to only answer short and sweet. He told me to be careful to make eye contact and just tell the truth and NEVER go off on a tangent...don't offer anything that isn't asked. I am supposed to talk in an even voice (sounds easy, but all this together isn't really all that easy. The point is, not to sound angry or snarky and I can do that). He says it's HIS job to discredit X, not mine. I have never ever been to any sort of court before in which there was any chance I could be charged with any sort of even minor criminology. The truth is, no matter how they rule tomorrow, I'm going to deliberately keep away from X...so it's not a big deal, other than I just hate to see her get the smug satisfaction...but I'm not going to look at her. Not when I first get there. Not when I'm in the room. Not afterward. That was also advised. And then it will be done.


Any suggestions on how to dress? This is very informal, but I don't think my normal Jumper's School Sweatshirt and pants are that hot an idea. Nor is this so formal I need a dress. That's good. I don't own one!!! How much is too little? How much is too much?

I can't wait until this mess is over, no matter how it turns out and I have to hope I win this...it would be just another big slap in the face to me (in my mind) if X won again, even though it is really just a technicality. I've got this idea that X is this superhuman person who can sell the absurd to the intelligent because she did it at work. I want her slapped down so she'll never bother me again. Selfish, I know!

 

[Rabbit]

Good luck tomorrow! I am sure it will go fine.You should dress nice and professional in my opinion. A dress or nice dress pants and nice top. Hugs Rabbit

 

[DDD]

What to wear? Wear slacks and a shirt or a skirt and a shirt. Just regular clean clothes that are comfortable on your body which will help you relax.

How to answer questions? Just like you do when your husband asks you something. Look at the person, give a brief truthful response.

If you've never been in a courtroom it "may" appear intimidating because it is usually rather large and formal looking BUT it is basically just a special office where you are expected to behave appropriately (no problem for you), keep your mouth shut unless you are officially addressed (just like in a church). Your attorney or the Baliff will tell you when to stand up and sit down. The only odd thing is that your purse will either be manually searched or go thru a machine (like at an airport) so make sure you don't have sharp objects. You will not be allowed to take your purse to the stand but if you require glasses...you can carry those in your hand.

Really...REALLY...there is NO reason to get psyched out. Just be a quiet version of you. Hugs DDD

 

[InsaneCdn]

I've got this idea that X is this superhuman person who can sell the absurd to the intelligent because she did it at work

You give her too much credit... plus those other people at your former employment too much credit.
Who says THEY are actually intellegent?

Wear... no denim, no khaki. Modest, moderate.

 

[buddy]

Sounds like you are in good....cute...hands. My Advocate always said the same, esp when q had the court stuff. Say nothing. Only short true answers. Too many doors open and things can be twisted.

I'll be happy for you when it's done!

 

[trinityroyal]

MWM, having a hot lawyer can be to your advantage in more ways than one. Not only does he provide eye candy for you, but a number of studies have shown that handsome men are more persuasive than "regular folks". He might win over the judge with those big blue eyes.

Now, as to your question. I agree with the others. A nice pair of trousers or a skirt, with a blouse you feel comfortable in. If you have a nice jacket or blazer that goes with the trousers or skirt, and you feel comfortable wearing jackets, then add it. If you're not comfortable with jackets, then skip it.

I agree with IC. X and the people at the school who listened to her are likely not the brightest sparklers on the birthday cake. Sending good vibes that things go your way!
Trinity

 

[BusynMember]

Thanks all.
Fortunately this isn't even a real courtroom. It's an alternative courtroom, sort of like a judge's chambers. And the judge is a lawyer, not really a judge, who does some civil cases. I can answer from my seat next to the lawyer. I don't have to get up and walk to a chair and face everyone.

IC, true dat about them being intelligent (I got "true dat" from Sonic and Jumper).

 

[HaoZi]

Dress demure but stylish. Wear blue, it suggests honesty. Answer pretty much with yes or no, don't volunteer any information.

 

[witzend]

Wear slacks and a nice shirt. A dress is too much. Answer your attorney only exactly what they ask you. Don't give more information than you they are asking for. Answer the other attorney "yes" or "no". Don't let them lead you to say something more or less than needs to be said. If you've said something that needs an explanation, your attorney gets to clarify it.

Don't sweat it, and if your attorney is too good looking to look in the eye without blushing, look at his hairline. Don't avoid eye contact with the witch, you'll look like just as much of a nut as if you stare her down. Look at her when it's appropriate.

Tell the truth, keep a pad and paper at your side and make a note to your attorney as to anything that has been left out or that she has lied about.

 

[Nancy]

Black dress pants and a modest blouse/sweater/top is good. You will see people come in dressed all kinds of inapprorpriate ways, just make sure you are the one who looks professional. This is being heard in front of a magistrate I assume. Your lawyer gave you very good advice. Answer only the question asked, do not elaborate! Do not show any emotion to anything anyone else says. Ask your attorney what to call the judge, usually it is "your honor" but if it's a magistrate it may be different.

Observe how others act if there are cases before yours. It's very interesting and you will see what others do and some things you shouldn't do.

Good luck.

 

[BusynMember]

Thanks for the great input, Nancy. I know you're very aware of all this and I so appreciate that you checked in. I have a plain white blouse, a plain gold necklace and and black pants that I think will do the trick. Sound good? Not fancy, but clean and conservative.

I will ask my lawyer what to call the other lawyer. Thanks for that tip.

Unfortunately, we are the first case, but I do know how to show the proper respect for being in front of a judge and in a courtroom. We had to go for our adoptions and for guardianship so I have an idea of what the demeanor should be.

 

[CrazyinVA]

It's been years since I was in court, but in all the times I went with my ex way back when, my main goal was to be sure I came across as the rational and reasonable one, especially when being questioned by my ex's attorney. Keep that in mind when asked any question, no matter what emotions it may stir in you.

 

[DDD]

I'm glad you are first. Sitting and waiting can make anybody nervous. Sending caring supportive thoughts your way. DDD

 

[recoveringenabler]

You'll do just great, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending you good 'justice' vibes...........let us know how it all turns out.

 

[hearts and roses]

Ditto what everyone said about nice slacks, top, shoes, clean and neat hair, makeup, no perfume. Yes or no only, minimal eye contact. You will do fine, sending prayers.

 

[Kathy813]

When we had to go to court to get a temporary protection order vacated, I dressed like I do for a normal school day. I wore a dress pair of pants, a turtleneck, jacket, and scarf. One thing, though, that I didn't expect was that I couldn't even bring my purse into the courthouse building. They made me take it back out to the car and I locked it up in the trunk. husband kept making the metal detector go off and had to keep taking things off. He finally made it through. We also had to leave our umbrellas in the lobby.

Good luck tomorrow.

~Kathy

 

[Nancy]

Good point Kathy about the purse. And don't bring a cell phone in MWM. About what to call the other lawyer, I meant the magistrate or judge if he addresses you. The other lawyer you can just not call him anything or sir. I would just answer his questions period without caling him by a title.

You will do fine. I had forgotten about you going to court for the adoptions.

Is this a hearing MWM? I am amazed that it was set so soon. Usually the wheels of justice turn much slower.

I had to go to court two weeks ago with difficult child for her shoplifting case. I was shocked at how some of the people came into court dressed. It's understandable some had to wear work clothes but the young people who came in wearing tight jeans and very low cut tops or guys with pants hanging down. It shouldn't affect the outcome of the case but how much do you want to bet that if the judge is going to give someone a break it won't be to the guy with his jeans down around his knees.

 

[DDD]

Care for a smile, MWM? When difficult child#2 went to Court I had alot of experience at the Courthouse. I had been a GAL and, very sadly, I had been there with easy child/difficult child on a number of occasions. Anyway I was focused on difficult child#2 (the ADHD Aspie GS) and when we entered the Courthouse they did the "check the purse" thing. I had FOUR knives in my purse!
OMG! Our little business had purchased pocket knives for promotion and I forgot all about them. difficult child#2 eyes got as big as saucers. I broke out laughing as the clerk pulled the knives out...one by one. When he saw the company name and heard the explanation he laughed and said "you can take them out to the trunk of your car or you can throw them away"....I tossed them and then we went in. I still can't believe I went to the Courthouse armed. LOL DDD

 

[HaoZi]

Purse thing may vary by area. I've been to our local courthouse many times for several of my own divorce hearings (it took me three final hearings to actually get divorced!) and get paperwork and check on child support, etc. I've never had a problem taking my purse in, but this is a small town. I always pare it down and often leave my cell phone and cigarettes and lighter in my truck, but the purse goes through the X-ray and I go the metal detector with no problem.

When I (FINALLY) got divorced I went in a nice light blue suit, dress shoes, etc. Ex actually showed up (after years of not responding to anything from the court, hence repeated final hearings) and he showed up in jeans, t-shirt, sneakers. I had my expert witness, my lawyer, my prep, my pen. I noted things to my lawyer during my ex's testimony like the fact that one of the children my ex was claiming wasn't actually his child - so the judge didn't give him credit for that kid when he figured child support for mine. My ex kept talking and talking and obviously had no clue how to handle Storm - a nice children's hospital in his area is a good thing, but it doesn't mean they're prepared for a child like mine, nor is he. Especially when the judge has access to all those text messages my Ex sent me saying things like "She can't be disabled and intelligent." Good prep and presentation goes a long way - I got everything I wanted in the divorce decree.

 

[donna723]

We used to have to go to court as witnesses fairly often when I worked for the Dept. of Correction. What you've been told so far is exactly right. Answer only the questions you are asked, briefly, just "yes" or "no" if you can get away with it. Don't expound on anything or volunteer any information other than to directly answer the questions you are asked, and then do it as simply as you can. Will you be questioned by an attorney for the other side? If you are, there's one sneaky little lawyer trick I've noticed some of them doing ... Sometimes they will ask you a question and you answer briefly. Then they will just stand there looking at you like they're waiting for you to continue speaking. It creates an awkward pause and most people feel like they need to say something more, to keep on talking to fill in the pause. That's what they're hoping you will do, start talking more without thinking, maybe saying something you shouldn't or volunteering information that you wouldn't need to. Don't fall for it. If they try to do that to you, just sit there quietly and calmly and they will eventually see that you are not going to bite and they will go on!