Court tonight

[AmericanGirl]

difficult child has court tonight for the dui. I talked with attorney today alone. He said dashcam videos show it was a bad arrest and he could get difficult child off. Neither of us think that is the thing to do.

Attorney wanted to ask for delayed prosecution. difficult child does community service and keeps out of trouble, it disappears in six months. That way, difficult child can use youthful offender status next month at the third degree theft (in a nearby town). I'd like to see him have a hope of not having this stuff follow him through life if he does wake up and get help...while having consequences now. Make sense?

I then tell attorney some of the concerns I have learned from my keylogger. I also emailed him a scan of the bipolar script difficult child refuses to take.

Attorney's new plan includes asking for community service, weekly attendance at Celebrate Recovery meetings and counseling. Am praying DA will agree....who asks for MORE orders anyhow...why shouldn't he?

Of course, difficult child will never know about that conversation.

difficult child called me last night at 6 pm to ask what time court was. He thought it was yesterday. I told him right date and time. He was then so ugly to me that I hung up on him. Second time in a day doing that. Haven't hard from him today. Hoping he will show up.

Just proud I am getting better at drawing boundaries with him. Next time he is ugly, I am going online to cell phone service and restricting his phone so he can only call/text me. I'll hear from him shortly thereafter. Gonna restrict it for 24 hours every time he is ugly to me from now on. Long enough to make it hard on him and hopefully not too long so he will destroy phone.

 

[Nancy]

I hope he shows up for court. It's a shame that you are working harder on his case than he is. Part of me says you should just let the chips fall where they may and yet as a mom I understand you are trying to protect his future.

Keep us posted on what happens.

Nancy

 

[AmericanGirl]

Nancy, I agree about the chips. It's hard because I run between he is an addict and he is sick and needs help. At least he will get a chance whether he wants it or not....not doing this again. It is up to him.

 

[Signorina]

I will be thinking about you AG. I hope the outcome will be good for his future. Please let us know how it goes. {{hugs}}

 

[DDD]

I'm sending caring supportive thoughts your way tonight. Your conversation with the attorney was, in my humble opinion, spot on. We've seen what over prosecution can do to a young man's future. It's ugly and defeatist. Hoping this is taken as a wake up all and an opportunity by your difficult child. Hugs DDD

 

[AmericanGirl]

Well, that didn't go well. Judge refused deal. They side-barred a long time. Trial date Feb. 28th. As the dashcam shows problems with the arrest, difficult child may get off.

I talked to him a few minutes on our way back to his dorm. He denies everything. Told him I knew he had a new tattoo. Denied it. Then he tells me it was "part of the other one." Addict-speak. After maybe three minutes of talking about what happened and his issues, I asked whether he liked his math teacher. He mentioned another name. I knew that wasn't his teacher and asked who that was. He said, "Nevermind" in a horrible tone. I told him to talk to me with respect or get out of my car. Last I knew, he was walking down the road towards the dorms.

Just going between anger, hurt and fear. It's exhausting. Gonna write in my journal a while and then do my best to salvage the night.

 

[buddy]

Sorry Alabamagirl... really stinks..

I was kind of thinking a similar thing, Just really gets old going between being angry with your kid, wanting to support them and help them, being afraid for them, trying to accept, etc.... just gets tiring.

 

[Signorina]

hey -- walking the path of anger, hurt and fear right by your side...XO

 

[DDD]

Sending a fresh morning hug your way. DDD

 

[AmericanGirl]

Thanks DDD...much needed these days.

 

[lovemysons]

Oh my Alabamagirl,

Here you are trying to salvage your difficult child's future while he acts angry towards you.

Only a Mother's "love".
Hugs,
LMS