CPS and defiant kids, is it common>?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rainyseason, Oct 13, 2010.

  1. rainyseason

    rainyseason Guest

    I was reading for through the archives and found alot of posts talking about CPS. Does that happen alot with difficult child kids? My son started therapy two weeks ago & I'm wondering is it the norm for the docs to automatically call cps if a childs behavior is out of control? Do they just assume the parents are bad parents? I'd just like some fair warning if there's a chance I'm gonna have someone knocking on my door! I may not be perfect, but the only abuser in my home is my child...sad to say. I don't even know if thats what it is. Yesterday, he wouldn't eat because he was CONVINCED that the 4 yr old neighbor girl had come to our home and cooked our dinner?!?!?! WT???? The psychiatric said he's dillusional. I'm just wondering how often cps is called on the families of these kids? I've even been video taping his behavior along with our reaction to it. I feel like its the only way I can get it across to the psychiatrist. He went in there yesterday and told psychiatrist he doesn't throw things, doesn't swear etc....so on the way out I handed her a couple dvd's and asked her to take my for it! What else could I do?
  2. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I wouldn't say it's common, but it happens. Tdocs and psychiatrists are mandatory reporters, so if they legitimately suspect abuse or neglect, or have serious concern over the safety of the other children in the home they could call. However, we have a lot of kids on this board with a lot of serious behavioral problems where CPS isn't and hasn't been involved. If you're worried about it, just be prepared - have medical documentation, scripts, doctor's phone numbers, etc. My daughter used to rage such that I fully expected the police to show up at any minute. I made sure my kitchen was always stocked, and had medical info at the ready.

    Also, often CPS can offer services that can be very helpful. When my difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital in March - and it was obvious it was more than I could handle on my own - I called CPS for Family in Need of Services. We were looking at the possibility of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and this a service for kids at risk of not being able to stay at home - whether because of Residential Treatment Center (RTC), juvie, etc. They have been wonderful advocates for both difficult child and myself, have helped with school related issues (IEP meetings, etc) and know of resources and services I knew nothing about. The level of services can vary state to state, but I know a lot of people have used CPS in a similar fashion.
  3. rainyseason

    rainyseason Guest

    Good to know. I wasn't aware there was a program for difficult child kids who were in danger of having to leave the home. We've often wondered when we were going to be at that point. Not IF but WHEN. As it is, we're trying very hard to maintain some type of normal atmosphere, but the 'camels back is breaking'. I'm honestly at a loss. Like this morning, difficult child refused (as he does every morning), to get up for school. Threw stuff at me. Told me to %^&$^, said he was going and there wasn't a @#$!@ thing I could do about it! Finally after an hour, he missed the bus and once again, I drove him to school. Mind you, he still had his shoes off when we got to the school. Meanwhile I'm trying to get a 5yr old and my 9yr old going and I'm just worn out! My husband has all but given up at this point. Sits on the couch or goes to his room to avoid it. I'm so jealous of him for that....I know it sounds terrible, but I wish I too could just lock myself in a room till difficult children mood settles.
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    CPS is rarely called in unless a mandated reporter suspects abuse/neglect. You seem to be a parent who is trying ~ working your behind off to get help for your difficult child. I wouldn't be worried.

    All these years, I've been upfront almost too honest with many of the providers that have worked with the tweedles. I've let them know the challenges I've faced in the home & community & how I deal with those challenges. Ask for other interventions when what I'm doing isn't working.

    Keep up the good work ~ don't become fearful at this point. You're just beginning the journey toward getting your difficult child help.
  5. rainyseason

    rainyseason Guest

    Thank you. This is just so difficult. I can't even put my finger on when he started to change. I feel like the therapy is moving to slowly. I know its insane of me, but I just wish someone would hand me a list and say "do this and the problem is solved!" I'm absolutely frazzled. By the time this is over I'm gonna end up on medications myself just to calm my nerves. At the same time I'm trying to be patient with him as I know the epilepsy can cause mood shifts all by itself, but this is just outright defiance! ugh....I just need a nap before he gets off the bus. Gotta psychiatric myself up whenever 3:30 draws near!
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just in case it has been suggested to you before, put together his records and start a journal so you can enter each days
    behaviors etc. This helps you see patterns. It can be helpful to psychiatrists and Tdocs. Very importantly, you will have the journal
    at hand just in case there is a CPS call made. A written records of your childs life will remove any question about your devotion and concern. Sending hugs. DDD
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I had similar worries, because Miss KT used to scream at the top of her voice, "You're killing me! Stop killing me!" whenever she didn't like what she had been told to do. I actually did have a police visit one night, because one of my neighbors had reported domestic abuse at my house, but nothing ever came of it.

    Definitely have documentation of everything you can think of. That would have saved Hubby and the boys' bio-mom years ago when his boys were taken by CPS. They got the boys back after a month or so, unfounded complaint, but being able to present info up front might have stopped the removal.
  8. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    When I read "CPS" in this post, the first thing that came to mind was 'collaborative problem solving' from the Explosive Child.