Crazy people and none of them difficult child....

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AmericanGirl, Dec 19, 2012.

  1. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Two weeks ago, on Wednesday, a friend and I drove 420 miles to move difficult child from the rehab to their after care facility ($170 a day - no insurance). We both were impressed and left feeling good. difficult child was appropriate the whole way.

    Saturday, I go back for the Family Program. The director comes off as very arrogant. The assistant mentioned they served served French toast and take-out Chinese the night before. Not exactly the high-protein to heal their brains diet I was promised. Other things just didn't feel right.

    After this ended, I went to the facility to get difficult child for a visit. The person in charge was an idiot. He literally went to get difficult child, returned and motioned with his finger for him to follow him. He barely spoke.

    difficult child tells me his medications never came. I was required to give the facility the script and call the pharmacy with my payment info. The pharmacy was to deliver the same day. This meant difficult child had been with-o medications for three days.

    Called pharmacy. Closed. Called director's cell. Left answer. Idiot in charge was no help.

    No call back on Sunday so I called again and left another message.

    On Monday I call pharmacy. Facility was not aware the delivery never came. Asked Director to call me.

    Finally at 2 pm, he called. Gave stupid excuses why he didn't call me back. Blamed medications on difficult child. Said difficult child should have told them. Excuse me - you just told us at the Family Meeting how these patients were brain damaged but now difficult child is supposed to remind your staff?!?

    It took until Thursday to get difficult child's assessment and find another placement - plus to speak with difficult child as it appeared they were limiting his phone line and/or supervising it. But on Thursday and Friday, I managed to drive another over 500 miles to get him and move him into a sober living facility that is 160 miles from me.

    Director has rude and insulting to me when I picked difficult child up. Said they bore 0% of the responsibility for difficult child not getting medications for 5 days and that it wasn't a problem that he missed the medications. I wish I had asked him where he got his medical degree.

    difficult child could not have been nicer throughout this whole ordeal. He said he would go and do wherever I asked him to. He started to talk during the car rides and finally --- the answers he is giving make sense to me.

    The new place said they would work with difficult child for a few weeks before he could get a job. Turns out - they have a licensed counselor running a 3 hour group each weekday morning. I paid a little extra for the first month but the rent is $130 a week. difficult child sounds happy and is posting positive things/pics on FB.

    We managed to visit the local mental health center and difficult child had an assessment that same day which is remarkable. He should get a call later this week with a counseling appointment time.

    As for the first place, I called corporate yesterday and sent them a detailed email. Told them I wanted two things - someone to change the medication rules and then monitor compliance and all my money back. Within an hour, a district manager called me and apologized. He's doing everything I asked and more.

    People like this director deserve a special place in he!!. I'm just grateful this new place appears to be a good fit and difficult child is doing well.
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Wow, your head must be spinning. I'm glad you at least are getting some kind of resolution from the first place...what jerks. On a positive note, I'm so glad difficult child is patient, compliant and not complaining. I hope he has a lot of success in this new place. You're amazing.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad that difficult child is doing well. That expensive place sounds like it is staffed with idjits. I am glad corporate is helping and the new place is good. The rent for a week at new place is less than a day at old, and it is better, so that is a wonderful thing.

    I really hope this works well for your difficult child.
  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    You SO impress me. You really are very determined to help your difficult child. And...fight for your rights to be treated properly at these expensive facilities.

    One of these days I hope your difficult child can look at all of your loving efforts on his behalf with a true sense of gratitude in his heart. You are one Heck of a Warrior Mom!!!

    Rest when you can...You sound very very busy for difficult child.
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I understand your anger at the facility so many appear good on paper but when it comes down to it they just collect the money and do not provide the level of care they promised. Your difficult child is lucky to have you advocating for him. At some point though he will have to do this for himself. Keep moving in that direction so he can learn to advocate for himself. -RM
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Isn't it amazing when we get such good vibes from a place and it turns to koi?? Grrr.

    So glad you found another place and he is doing well!! Prayers he continues to do well!!!

    YOU are awesome. :)
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Way To Go AG. I'm glad you followed up on the old place. They need to be wccountable.
  8. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Thanks everyone!

    Got my refund check sent FedEx today. That shows good faith on their end. Am hoping that the problems in this facility are addressed immediately.
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I can't even explain how happy I am that you were able to hang around a bit and monitor the facility. In his teens I had difficult child#1 in three SA facilities. Yikes I was so naive AND so hopeful that the staff would be able to get him back to good health because I had a crumbled heart and a soul full of fear. Each facility was within two hours or so from my home. The first was recommended by the recently retired Supervisor of Department of Juvenile Justice who told me "I would send my teen there with complete confidence."

    Anyway I subsequently learned that the "day" staff left at five (except on family nights) and the teens were managed by minimum wage recovering substance abusers until morning. All kinds of "unacceptable" things happened at night including a mixing of the sexes. Sigh. They did write off the balance due on my account once confronted however it had a longlasting impact on my teen. LMS and her husband spent mega bucks and followed the recommendation of either a Judge or a Minister for their teens. It, also, was a disaster. I don't think they were able to get any refund.

    My point is YOU are an outstanding Warrior Mom. You maintained your role as difficult children Advocate and proved, once again, that you are on HIS team...even though you are not going to travel his chosen sa road. Way To Go! We are all so vulnerable and newbie's can learn from our past experiences. Thanks for sharing. DDD
  10. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Thanks DDD! However, I'm so sorry that you and LMS and now I have found these issues.

    We give your children to these places along with our hard earned cash plus our hopes, prayers and fears....and who knows what happens.

    This is, by far, the largest rehab in our state. The sad thing is -- positive stories are hard to find and negative ones abound. Sigh...

    I haven't told difficult child anything about this or the refund. This was MY cash and MY fight.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thank heaven you were so on top of things. OMGosh, I remember when a hospital didn't notice Q didn't have his patches on and also when they missed medication doses. Those patches being off could have resulted in a stroke or death. It is not something one can fool around with! I remember when I was even on just an antidepressant, and if I forget to pick up my medications and had to wait a few days I'd get so much worse than even before medications....going off them was he77. Just absurd to say it had no effect and was ok.

    It sounds like you ended up finding a better situation anyway, that is wonderful. Wish you hadn't had to have the stress along the way though. So great they did the right thing and got your money back to you! congrats!