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Creed or Rules for Parents of Estranged or Difficult Adult Children
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 690798" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I LOVE THESE RULES! For anyone struggling with an adult child relationship.</p><p></p><p><strong>What did I learn?</strong></p><p></p><ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">You are so much stronger than you think!</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">There is comfort that comes from sharing with others who are also estranged from their adult children. Find a group that works for you. You are not alone.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Forgive yourself. You did the best you could.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Not all relationships last, some die, some divorce and some choose to leave for their own reasons. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Do not allow your children or any single person to have so much power over your life, that without them you feel your life has no value.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Get help! It is painful and not something you should have to go through alone.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Let go in love, do it for yourself and for your adult child. You gave them life; let them have their life and let them live it their way, even if that means you are not included.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">People will acknowledge a broken arm but can’t see your broken heart. Take care of you!</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Even in the best scenario and intact families, there is life after raising children.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Find “other mothers” and “other daughters” who lift you up and love you for who you are. Fill the void with healthy relationships that enhance your life not ones that hurt you.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Give yourself time, in so many ways it is like a death and you will need to grieve your loss.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Accept it! Not everyone is going to like you let alone love you and some of those who don’t like/love you; just may be your own biological child or family members.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Surround yourself with love and life! You can never have enough people who love you and support you in your life.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">In the absence of people, I highly recommend bubble baths, fresh flowers, chocolates and beauty in all art forms. Pamper yourself.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Have faith whether you believe in God, Angels or any higher power, take your hurts and your troubles and hand them over to God.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">LOVE YOURSELF! If you don’t why on earth would anyone else?</li> </ol><p><strong>Just a few of the books that helped me …</strong></p><p></p><p>How To Survive The Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove, PH.D, Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. and Peter McWilliams</p><p></p><p>The Dance Moving to the Deep Rhythms of Your Life ORIAH</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 690798, member: 1550"] I LOVE THESE RULES! For anyone struggling with an adult child relationship. [B]What did I learn?[/B] [LIST=1] [*]You are so much stronger than you think! [*]There is comfort that comes from sharing with others who are also estranged from their adult children. Find a group that works for you. You are not alone. [*]Forgive yourself. You did the best you could. [*]Not all relationships last, some die, some divorce and some choose to leave for their own reasons. [*]Do not allow your children or any single person to have so much power over your life, that without them you feel your life has no value. [*]Get help! It is painful and not something you should have to go through alone. [*]Let go in love, do it for yourself and for your adult child. You gave them life; let them have their life and let them live it their way, even if that means you are not included. [*]People will acknowledge a broken arm but can’t see your broken heart. Take care of you! [*]Even in the best scenario and intact families, there is life after raising children. [*]Find “other mothers” and “other daughters” who lift you up and love you for who you are. Fill the void with healthy relationships that enhance your life not ones that hurt you. [*]Give yourself time, in so many ways it is like a death and you will need to grieve your loss. [*]Accept it! Not everyone is going to like you let alone love you and some of those who don’t like/love you; just may be your own biological child or family members. [*]Surround yourself with love and life! You can never have enough people who love you and support you in your life. [*]In the absence of people, I highly recommend bubble baths, fresh flowers, chocolates and beauty in all art forms. Pamper yourself. [*]Have faith whether you believe in God, Angels or any higher power, take your hurts and your troubles and hand them over to God. [*]LOVE YOURSELF! If you don’t why on earth would anyone else? [/LIST] [B]Just a few of the books that helped me …[/B] How To Survive The Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove, PH.D, Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. and Peter McWilliams The Dance Moving to the Deep Rhythms of Your Life ORIAH [/QUOTE]
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