Arrangements are being made for thank you to visit the next placement. Should have a firm date for the visit within the week. Basically, a meet and greet for the day, then the final decision will be made on if they will take him. If so, we wait for a bed - impossible to know how long the wait will be. (I'm not even contemplating they won't take him, so let's just not go there, ok?? Just call me Scarlett.) He doesn't do transitions well. He does waiting even worse. Anticipation is his enemy. This is fact. Throw in he will milk it for everything it's worth and then some - we've already had the school refusal over his "stress" about upcoming move. I don't doubt it's on his mind, but it's not even a done deal yet. He hit me tonight with- his heartache over leaving "peers". On further prodding, the "peers" are his "girlfriend". Sigh. He doesn't want to leave her, in spite of the fact that *she's* planning her own discharge back to her parents' home. I think he's truly aching over this... second reciprocated relationship, been going on for several months (by the way, not condoned by Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff so contact is limited to school but he's definitely smitten). Usually I can find the right words for him but I really was useless this evening. Maybe I'm too old, maybe I just cannot see anything beyond this positive step forward (the move) for *him* that could possibly be important. But the kid is absolutely drowning in anxiety. I knew enough to not point out that girlfriend's parents may not be thrilled with- her continued contact with- him, or that I'm not thrilled with- a more long term relationship with *her* (sorry, I'm a difficult child snob - 1 is more than enough and I have nightmares about the potential heck 2 difficult children in an intense relationship might create!). I didn't point out that she is only the beginning of his life with- women, or that there are not only girls at next placement (separate home, but same school) but a whole lot more freedom. Which meant that the best I could come up with was a really pitiful empathy, which wasn't what he was looking for. I'm completely at a loss right now on how to help guide him. His anxiety over the change (it's almost 7 years to the day that he left for his first Residential Treatment Center (RTC)), his completely reasonable heartache over girlfriend, plus his usual completely *unrealistic* expectations of how much better it will be there (anywhere-but-here-itis)... Any suggestions on how to walk him thru this? I'm trying role playing a bit, cognitive stuff, how it will be different than anything he's done before, how I *know* he is ready for this step, how positive it is, how he will truly be preparing for his independent adult life, and how the only reason this is even happening is because of all the hard work *he's* done in the past year... but I just feel completely inadequate. Didn't realize until this evening how badly I want/need this placement to work out for him. He's *got* to learn to live outside of locked placements. Ideas would be greatly appreciated.