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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 700438" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome Bratty, </p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing with us. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You sound like you have done all you can to help to your son. There is a fine line that is easily crossed where we go from helping to enabling.</p><p></p><p>Your son is not taking the charges against him seriously and he may be thinking that it's no big deal as "mom" will bail me out again. This is where it's easy to cross that line. Even if you had unlimited funds it will not help your son to continue to bail him out. </p><p></p><p>I have learned over the years that throwing money at our adult children's problems does nothing but drain our bank accounts and send a message to our kids that they can manipulate us to give them money.</p><p></p><p>I know that you are worried about your son but you also need to worry about yourself. As parents, we spend a good portion of our lives putting our children first, then they grow into adults. This is a pivotal point in our lives where we need to let them go and we need to take our lives back. No matter how much it hurts to watch our adult children's lives spiral out of control there is nothing we can do to change things for them. </p><p></p><p>If your son truly wanted help and wanted to make amends for the mistakes he has made then there would be no need for you to have found this site. </p><p></p><p>Bottom line, you can only do what you are comfortable with. The "stopping" point for each of us is different. None of this is easy.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found us here. You are not alone in this struggle.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you......................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 700438, member: 18516"] Welcome Bratty, Thank you for sharing with us. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You sound like you have done all you can to help to your son. There is a fine line that is easily crossed where we go from helping to enabling. Your son is not taking the charges against him seriously and he may be thinking that it's no big deal as "mom" will bail me out again. This is where it's easy to cross that line. Even if you had unlimited funds it will not help your son to continue to bail him out. I have learned over the years that throwing money at our adult children's problems does nothing but drain our bank accounts and send a message to our kids that they can manipulate us to give them money. I know that you are worried about your son but you also need to worry about yourself. As parents, we spend a good portion of our lives putting our children first, then they grow into adults. This is a pivotal point in our lives where we need to let them go and we need to take our lives back. No matter how much it hurts to watch our adult children's lives spiral out of control there is nothing we can do to change things for them. If your son truly wanted help and wanted to make amends for the mistakes he has made then there would be no need for you to have found this site. Bottom line, you can only do what you are comfortable with. The "stopping" point for each of us is different. None of this is easy. I'm glad you found us here. You are not alone in this struggle. ((HUGS)) to you...................... [/QUOTE]
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