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Curious: Was there one instant that made you detach?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 623161" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>After thinking I would never "desert" one of my kids, no matter how old they got, one of us posted that she had detached and her child was doing better. I was on that detachment bandwagon the next day. I didn't quite understand it, but it was something I had not tried.</p><p></p><p>I wasn't doing it for me.</p><p></p><p>I was doing it to change them.</p><p></p><p>Then, you posted about 36 and verbal abuse. Probably because I had already begun thinking about myself differently, I could see my own son in what you were posting about 36.</p><p></p><p>But it took about three days, MWM!</p><p></p><p>That is how strong denial can be, I guess.</p><p></p><p>As I continued thinking I was detaching (for the sake of the kids and in the hope that, as it seemed other kids on the site were doing, my own kids would turn them selves around), I actually began to get the meaning behind the enabling/detachment theory.</p><p></p><p>And now, just recently, I am beginning to see the value in it; am beginning to see how the pieces fit together.</p><p></p><p>One of the key pieces I am seeing now is Recovering's assertion that we need to shift the emphasis from "other" to self. </p><p></p><p>It is an ongoing process, for me.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 623161, member: 17461"] Yes. After thinking I would never "desert" one of my kids, no matter how old they got, one of us posted that she had detached and her child was doing better. I was on that detachment bandwagon the next day. I didn't quite understand it, but it was something I had not tried. I wasn't doing it for me. I was doing it to change them. Then, you posted about 36 and verbal abuse. Probably because I had already begun thinking about myself differently, I could see my own son in what you were posting about 36. But it took about three days, MWM! That is how strong denial can be, I guess. As I continued thinking I was detaching (for the sake of the kids and in the hope that, as it seemed other kids on the site were doing, my own kids would turn them selves around), I actually began to get the meaning behind the enabling/detachment theory. And now, just recently, I am beginning to see the value in it; am beginning to see how the pieces fit together. One of the key pieces I am seeing now is Recovering's assertion that we need to shift the emphasis from "other" to self. It is an ongoing process, for me. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Curious: Was there one instant that made you detach?
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