Cut-up staw--used for anything besides Cocaine?

[DFrances]

It's every parents nightmare to even think that your child, your little baby could be using drugs. It's so easy to deny it to yourself and ignore the signs but you can't, you will only be harming your child and have them resent you later for not seeing it and helping them. As much as they will say they hate you when you take action they will thank you for it when they grow up and have a high school diploma, maybe even college, and a good job. Has your child started talking back? This may be a sign to pay attention to. Give them random at home drug test. You can buy these at any local drug store. Make sure that they are not diluting it with water. Talk to them and teach them about the effects of taking drugs.

 

[Ephchap]

CA Mom,

It sounds like your son was in over his head with the responsibility of staying at the house, but as you said, you already know this, as does your son.

As for the straw, it certainly sounds suspiciously drug related, but hard to say for sure.

Glad you had a good time, though it was dampened a bit by what was going on at home, and the worry that something would.

The drug testing, should behavior warrant it, is something you and your husband will have to decide together. You definitely need to be on the same page with what the consequences will be if there are positive drug screens though. As you well know, to threaten something and not follow through, just makes our difficult child's push the limit further and further.

Sending hugs,
Deb

 

[KFld]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CAmom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Karen, the straw is worrisome, but I haven't seen signs of anything out of the ordinary in my son until that </div></div>

Just a word of caution. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary with my son either when he first started using heroin. I had people who knew he was doing it telling me to watch, and I'm not sure if it really wasn't that obvious, or I was choosing not to see it until it was too late. I'm not saying that is what your son is doing. I'm just saying keep your eyes and ears open on that one. If you start missing pens and finding them cut in half, or little tiny empty zip lock bags anywhere around the house, then start being a little more worried.

 

[TYLERFAN]

My difficult child is 22 and I would Not Ever leave her in my house alone :smile:
The fact that your son is around these people and has a past of some drug use, I would say that the drug test another member mentioned is a good idea.

Good Luck :warrior:

Blessings,
Melissa :angel:

 

[standswithcourage]

If the straw was cut I would think there was something going on. My son had cut straws in his room at one time andhe was snorting some crushed up pill! His room is now no more his room but a shell of what it used to be. We had to take the carpet out and paint the walls it was such a mess. We did that twice but now when he is home he sleeps on the couch. It is sad. I would watch and make sure you dont find anymore and if you do youmay confront him.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm on the phone with my daughter. She says the straw can be used to measure heroine or crack. She says that the cold medications could have something in it or else they may have just been fishing to find something to get them high and "being stupid." She said if she'd been left alone she'd have thought "Hurray! Time to party!" She says to be a little suspicious. She also does not believe that he only smokes pot. This is all from my daughter.

 

[BusynMember]

Ok, now that I'm off I want to add that after my daughter cleaned up she told us she had shot heroine a few times, used ecstasy, cocaine, crack, etc...you name it. She abused legal drugs too--there's something that used to be legal and now it's banned--starts with an "E"...when all else failed there was always THAT and, of course, it was always easy to get ADHD medications and snort them. If your son hangs with heavy drug users, hate to tell you this, but I'm 99 1/2% sure that HE IS TOO. I know it's hard to believe. How stupid am I? I didn't know it until my daughter had decided to live rather than die. I didn't know that my baby girl was using such dangerous drugs or I certainly would have done more. She hid it so well. Part of that is she did the drugs while WE were asleep. Yes, we thought SHE was asleep too. Part of it was ignorance and not wanting to know. I don't think you can trust your son, and I do think you should drug test him to save his life, not to punish him...but that's up to you. I think his few good choices may be to cover up for his whopper bad ones. It's never a good sign when these kids still hang with other kids who are doing baaaaad things. When they are clean, they drop those types of friends. They will tell you in AA or NA that you must drop your friends and start a new life in order to stay clean. Yes, I went to NA to try to understand my daughter (who I thought was only drinking and doing pot). I know my daughter is really telling the truth because 1/ her life is very on track 2/ her moods are good 3/ Her friends are, in her words, boring "they don't even drink...I'm sick of that anyways." Good luck, and I'd try to keep the blinders off (not that it's easy).

 

[gottaloveem]

I have to agree with Karen (Kfld) our sons heroin use totally shocked us. He was using for 6-9 months before he admitted it to us. Until then, we had no idea, and yes we had one person tell us to look out and the school mentioned to us they had heard a rumor. Until he admitted it, I was blind to his use. I rationalized all the signs.

I also agree with midwest mom that if he is hanging out with kids that are doing mushrooms and other drugs, he likely is too. Usually what kids admit to is only the tip of the iceberg. Also midwest mom tells you that she didn't realize her daughters drug use either.

After all he has been through, I am surprised he is calling kids doing hard drugs friends.

I hate to be blunt. Sorry if it sounds harsh, I'm not trying to be.I still can't believe that my husband and I didn't figure out Alex's drug use. (by the way, we thought he was "only" smoking pot)

 

[BusynMember]

I don't feel so stupid now...lol. I really, REALLY believed my daughter was only smoking pot. After all, she was busted for pot, not anything else. What do I know? I choked on cigarettes as a teen and never did any drugs so I was easy to fool...lol. I will never bury my head in the sand again. I have a younger daughter and I'll be much more aware.

 

[CAmom]

Karen, I'm a suspicious type and am very sensitive to and aware of my surroundings (okay, call it obsessive/compulsive...). I used to routinely check the edges of my aluminum foil because, when I tear a piece off, I make sure it's straight. Back when my son first started smoking pot, I could easily tell by the ragged edges he left behind that he'd been using bits of foil. Not that I needed all that...I'm just as sensitive to his body language and facial expression as I am my home. That said, if you have any advice about what to look for in that respect, I'd like to hear it...

 

[CAmom]

Midwest and Stands, I'm fairly certain that staw wasn't innocent. There isn't any reason I can think of why a cut-up straw would be in the bathroom. My main concern is whether he was using it or if someone else was. And, for what.

As far as us leaving being party time. Well, no big surprise. The first time my parents left me at home alone at 18, I did the same thing. I didn't care for the feeling of sneaking around behind their backs, however, and never did it again. My son has no such qualms...

 

[CAmom]

Deb, thanks... I'd have to be stupid to think that straw was cut up to drink a really LITTLE drink and then stashed! Someone was doing something with it. Problem is that there were a number of neighborhood teens around. There was plenty of evidence of that, and our son didn't try to cover it up. He seemed genuinely curious about the straw but that was about it.

You echoed my thoughts about drug testing in that, we feel it would be a waste of time to go that route unless we have a plan in place about what we're going to do about it. Would we show him the door if we were to drug test him and find that he's positive for marijuana at this point, we wouldn't. Would we do so if, in a couple of months from now, we're finding pot in his room, he's sleeping the day away and not doing anything productive with his life, and is surly and disrepectful, we absolutely would. But, at this point, we are taking a watch-and-see attitude while we think over this issue.

 

[CAmom]

Midwest, Tyler, and gotta...one thing I must say is that the two boys who took the mushrooms and then came to our home were not invited but rather "crashed" the party. Although he's known both boys all through school, he doesn't consider them friends and never hangs out with them.

This is not to say that he has never tried mushrooms or LSD or other drugs besides pot...he admitted to taking Ecstasy a few times last summer, and I know exactly what to look for for signs of that. I also tried LSD in my younger years, and I know those signs as well.

So, all I can really do is keep eyes and ears open and pray he survives the experimenting he and most of the teens in our area seem to be doing.

 

[BusynMember]

One thing you have to face is that most teens are NOT experimenting with hard drugs. Many are going to college and getting ready for their adult life. And when does experimentation become abuse? I'd worry that he associates with such peers as there are many kids who don't use drugs at all. In our case, our daughter just chose not to hang with them--and they didn't want to hang with HER because they knew her reputation. in my opinion your son is pulling the wool over your eyes, but I hope I'm wrong. Is he working full time and keeping busy away from these peers? I wish you all the best. This is NOT easy. But my two grown sons who never did drugs also never hung around with people who did. In fact, when one of my son's friends started using drugs, my son dumped him and called him a "loser." Like hangs with like.

 

[gottaloveem]

Did you read the list of the 34 signs your child may be using drugs?

Here is the link:

http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/34-signs-your-teen-is-using-drugs.6231/

I am not trying to shove this idea down your throat that your son may be using harder drugs than pot. It's just that in our family, we were so blindsided by our sons drug use. I also fooled around with experimentation of drugs as a teen. I thought I would know if my children were doing drugs. Alex definitely had us fooled.

I'm glad he isn't really hanging with the mushroom kids, but I gotta tell you, my yellow and red flag warnings would be raised by now.

 

[CAmom]

MW, I'd like to believe that most kids aren't messing with drugs, and maybe they aren't elsewhere. However, here, I'm afraid they are, and I'm not sure if it's because we live in a "resort" type area in CA or something else.

We've used communication with the parents of the ten or so kids our son's age in our neighborhood to gauge many issues over the years such as curfews, etc. in an attempt to help us set reasonable limits for our son. These families include a city councel-man, a city manager, several teachers, an attorney, and many others seemingly upstanding citizens. Yet, without exception, every one of these family have had issues with their children surrounding drugs and/or alcohol, some much more serious than what we've had to deal with with our son, so far. Yet, most of of these kids have begun college and/or gotten jobs, and/or are seeking jobs, despite this.

While I'm not defending or condoning this, it appears that many young people we know ARE able to use drugs recreationally and lead productive lives, and THIS is what my son observes. I'm afraid that this is what his reality is, and it is very frightening to me as there seems to be very little of the stigma attached to this sort of behavior that there was when I was a teenager...

 

[CAmom]

Gotta, I would NEVER take anything you post as trying to "shove" something down someone's throat! I've read enough of your posts to understand that you and your precious son paid the ultimate price to drugs, and I simply don't have the words or presumption to express my sorrow for what you've been though but know that everything you post comes from your heart in the hopes of helping another family save their child!

I've read through the list and found that, at this time, none except for one or two criteria apply to our son. This is not to say that they haven't done so in the past and will not do so in the future...quite frankly, our son is at risk for drug/alcohol addiction due to his genetics, and we've made him aware of this. As such, I've had my warning flags put up for a long time...that's why I'm here, and I appreciate and take to heart everything you and others have to say.

 

[BusynMember]

Well, CAMom, I hear ya. I grew up in a very wealthy suburb and the drug use was estimated at 80%. To be honest, my friends did take drugs, but I didn't. I was able to buck my peers, but I think I was unusual. In fact, I always tried to talk a teenager's idea of "sense" into them...lol.
I live in a very small town. 36 kids graduated last year (from high school) and everyone knows who takes drugs. It is estimated that there are about eight drug users. So we have a lot of non-users to pick from. The bigger school in a nearby town is where my daughter got into drugs, so we moved. It's a terrible problem. Some people can smoke an occaissional joint and do ok. I know a lawyer who did cocaine too, and it didn't affect his job--until he had a stroke caused by the cocaine! Now he is disabled. I don't have all the answers. At the end of the day, only the kid knows what he uses (because they lie so well) and only the kid can decide to change his life. I'm grateful my daughter made that decision or, frankly, she'd be dead. I wish you and your precious son lots and lots of luck.

 

[gottaloveem]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CAmom</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

I've read through the list and found that, at this time, none except for one or two criteria apply to our son. </div></div>

Phew! Thats good news. Well if your son is going to smoke, I hope he can be one of the people who can use pot and still be successful.I do know lots of people like that. I have employed many kids who "party"(pot, no other drugs) on the weekends and still do great with the rest of their life. Now that some of them are older, some own their own businesses, some work for major magazine companies in New York,others are finishing college. One girl went into real estate and recently bought her own house at age 22.

I know none of us want our kids to smoke pot. But when they handle their own lives. It gives us little to worry about.

Hope your son gives you less and less to worry about.

 

[SunnyFlorida]

I just love this post :smile:
Gotta, thank you so much for your continued support of all of us here. Your input is so greatly appreciated and respected. It's just so unfortunate that your difficult child had to pay such a high price for using.
MWM, I was going to post that I don't think the majority of the kids here are getting ready for college, then I read your next post. Oh how I wish we could all live in a small town where they're only about 8 drug users. In my area, we've got over 16 high schools, a 56% graduation rate, drugs....are rampant. Our schools encourage the GED option. A kid has to have his own inner drive to get ahead here. I understand about being bamboozled by difficult child's and am really glad your difficult child is doing so well.
CaMom, I'm just so proud of you. You NEED to continue posting, your input is so valuable. You've got great insight, have been through the ringer, had a difficult child given an opportunity, and are now watching and waiting to see what happens.

I'm wondering if your difficult child is "testing the waters". It sorta looks like he's seeing if he can re-connect with 'ole buds, but then finding out that ...nah...not such a good idea. MWM is right in that once the difficult child gets busy with something else, they drop the old friends and stand on their own. That I have definately seen with my new easy child/difficult child. What's your difficult child's plans for the next few months until the new semester starts?