I finally have an understanding with my father about how I am choosing to deal with my sister and brother's shuns. I think he doesn't understand how much the shun hurts, how often it happens, and what that means to me. I was not that comfortable telling these things to my father, but I had no choice. I was not happy that he shared my accident with them. I don't think either cared. From what my sister wrote, she only made a token effort to contact one of my kids because my father dogged her into it. My brother didn't even pretend to care. I appreciate his honesty. He didn't care and she didn't care, but my sister (ever mind of inheritance by father) felt she had to do what he said, even though she didn't care. I was not happy she shared my accident here. Although it relieved some people, it was my place, I felt, to tell you about it, not hers. She didn't even see me to know much about it as we did not tell elderly father how bad it was. She was just encroaching on my space again. On purpose. So that I'd find out and she'd feel smug satisfaction. Trust me, that's why she did it. I know her too well. I told him very gently today that both of them had shunned me. I did not use that word. I said "decided to never talk to me again." I brought up the time my mother had had a brain tumor. She told EVERYONE not to let me know about it and my dad wasn't even married to her anymore, but he kept his promise to her, which was the right thing to do. If she didn't want me to know, I should not have known. It was the beginning of my knowing just how shunned I had always been when she finally told me years after. Nobody else ever did tell me. I started majorly pulling away in my heart after that. Anyhow... I told him to remember how he had kept his word to Mother. Then I told him that, since Sis and Bro have made it crystal clear that they want nothing to do with me, that I was honoring that wish of theirs. He was silent while I talked, but I knew he was listening. I went on to tell him this meant that I have no brother or sister really and that if anything happens to me or to them, even if I am dying, it is none of their business. Their knowing would not comfort me and they were not a part of my life. Right now I have some minor stuff he knows about that I never want them to know about. It's not the "end of the world" stuff, but it is not for the ears of those who don't care. I can't post it here partly because I don't know if Sis is still reading my posts. I made him swear he would never tell them or else I was not going to be able to share anything more about this, or anything else, with him again. He agreed and I believe him. This makes me feel very relieved. They are the last people I want buzzing around my hive if something else happens or because they are curious about my life. It would not make me feel better. It would make me feel worse. They really don't care aboutu me at all, I accept it, but then they have no need to have any information about me, good or bad. I feel like a weight is lifted from my shoulders. The fact is, my sister took my horrible accident and made it about her and her flowers when I never even saw her flowers due to not being coherent. I don't need or want her flowers and then her snippy comments. I am done. Phew. I don't feel I have to think Dad is going to share anything anymore. He can keep a pretty good secret. I don't want him to tell me about them either, no matter what, and he agreed. And he hasn't for a long time now. That's more garbage from the past and FOO that I can shut the trash can on. Little by little, my FOO is becoming just a bad memory.